';Running away'; at 19...?

Alright so I realize that since I am over the legal age of 18, if I just left my house it would not be technically running away. But that's what I'm doing. I'll give you a little bit of information to fully understand so you're able to answer the question I'm going to ask though. So, let me say first that I am not leaving my parents house out of hate, anger, or anything cliche like that. My reason is that I just want to live my life the way I've always been wanting to. And that's very hard to do when you have one of the most judgmental people as your mom. I don't necessarily want to go and do bad things but just I guess not have to worry if what I am doing is going to be approved by her.





Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.





I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.





As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.





So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that?





Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.








Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.';Running away'; at 19...?
Wow.....


I must say I read your letter and felt the deepest sympathy for you.. I left my house when I was 17, my situation was very different, I was abused verbally and got beatings from my dad daily for many many years, I had no relationship with him, he never talked to me for years and I had no self steem. It took me many years to overcome what I had been through...


When I left, I left the country and came to another with a relative.. my dad let me go because he knew how much damage he had done to me.....





I am not in your shoes but I guarantee you it can't be that bad and responsible freedom is really good.


I was independent by the age of 18, had my own apartment and 2 jobs and also was going to school.. It was hard but it was very rewarding, working this hard kept me away from trouble and make me who I am today, very succesful and very happy, married with kids..





a few suggestions though....





About your Job.... I am not judging but just out of concern I would like to give you the following advice:





What kind of work can you get at this age without a degree, no education that pays really good?


Seriously? It can't be that good, it might be good money but is it degrading? will you be happy doing the Job? I am assuming you are probably going to be working at a strip club, and if I am wrong and you get a really good job HUGE props for you.. if not, make sure yo make the right choices..





About getting married....


Man, being married at such short age is just nuts!!! hopefully you can marry someone that is not jealous or possesive and gives you your freedom.





My advice.. don't get married, first get your things in order....


Date people so that you can get to know how man are... you will regret getting married at such young age if later on in life you feel unhappy and have kids and you can not get a divorce or being with some one else if you have kids...





think about it.. .google problems with young couples and why not to marry so young...


Don't you want to travel??? You say you want to be free and you are getting married...


Don't you want to feel free and independent??? you don't think this husband of yours is also going to judge you jsut like your parents??





Don't get married, move out and definitively don't cut your parents off.


Leave that note and do call them a few days after you move out just to let them know you are safe.. once you are settled into an apartment and have a ';decent Job'; contac them , have them go see what you have achieved so that they don't worry for you..


I am a parent now and I am putting myself in both shoes... I would worry sick if my little girl left my home and I would want to do whatever to protecter and ot make sure she was fine...





Listen to this.... No one and I mean no one will give you unconditional love like your parents...


and I do understand this now that I am a parent...


I have never loved anything or anyone as strongly, purely, deeply as I love my kids.....





I wish you the best of lucks and I know what you are going through a lot but just hang in there...


Have faith, make good choices and have goals for your future and leave to the fullest.


Love and respect yourself and other and you will be fine...


I don't know you but I want you to know that I will say a prayer for you to wish that you have good luck in all you do and in this situation with your parents and getting your independence....





Much Much Love!!!';Running away'; at 19...?
Good for you, I plan to do something similar within a year (I'm 18.) If they go so far as to hire a private investigator, they can find you. Oh, and they can always show up at your job and stalk you. Good luck!
Okay, good for you! I might also do something similar to what you are doing within 11 months when I become 18. If they hire a private investigator than yes they can find you. And you are not running away because at 19 you are generally speaking ';Moving out';.





Good Luck!!!
first of all, you have thought this through carefully, but i had that same relationship with my parents, and i did the same thing your wanting to do, minus the marriage part, i moved out with my boyfriend and we planned on getting married, but needless to say nothing worked out. I missed home and realized why my parents were the way they were and now from me moving out it has brought us closer and they understand and listen to me now. What are you going to do about a car? How are you going to get to work and back and to school? Also yes, your parents can find out where you are, if you stay in the same state, it will be easy for them to find you, especially if they know where you work. But they could hire an investigator if they were desperate or they could just use your social security number to find out where you are, trust me i know this is possible, there are websites you have to pay to use to find this info out, my best friend went on a website and payed money to find out about her ex, she typed in his social security number and it showed every bill he had paid, it showed his water bill his power bill and his cell phone bill. It's easy to find people if you have the ssn. Also some states have different ages for which they consider ';legal'; age. In my state you can be 17 to drop out of highschool or to move out of your parents house. Where I used to live in another state it was 18. And where my friend lives its 21. All states are different, you might just have to get emancipated but to do that you need your parents approval. Also you're 19, why do you want to get married? You are so young and have a full life ahead of you. I was with my ex for 4 years and swore I was gonna marry him, but I moved out and shortly after that we didn't work out, we just got older and more mature and realized we don't need to be getting married so young that we need to enjoy life. There's alot to thing about honey. Good luck