I had a friend, my best friend for almost 15 years, do something completely unforgivable last summer. It basically started with us having an argument the weekend of her 30th birthday.
I was supposed to visit her in Ohio, but events unfolded out of my control and I couldn't make it up there. With the help of her husband I managed to salvage some stuff I had planned for the following weekend. Before I could follow through, she wrote me a very unhappy text and I texted back that I would call her later to talk about it, after work. When I finally got home and was checking my emails, I found one from her. She was very nasty and hurtful and I wrote back that it was unfair of her to act the way she was without knowing just how wrong my weekend had gone. She wouldn't answer my call later and the next day, Sunday, my middle son's birthday, she sent me another email. Again it was very nasty. Finally at my own breaking point I told her about my weekend and how if she had been patient with me I had made plans to make it up to her, but at this point I was tired of being pulled in far too many directions at once and that maybe we needed to chill for a bit and back off. She replied that she had expected better of me and that if I was truly her friend I would have been there to celebrate her birthday no matter what.
Never mind that my son's birthday is the day after hers, that our new regional vp had scheduled a mandatory company meeting the day of her b-day, or that my baby sister had been in a car accident with her boyfriend and police were looking for her to question her that same morning. Her attitude just reminded me too many times of previous instances when I was supposed to just drop everything for her, if I was truly her friend. So I lashed out back at her and told her basically that I needed her to leave me alone for a bit, until she could understand that the world couldn't always revolve around her. I admit to being hurtful and mean to her. But I would NEVER have done what she did to me later.
The next day she called my husband and told him I was having an affair with two different guys. My husband called me and asked me about it. It created a huge fight between us which lasted for several days and I told her that it was done. That if she ever contacted anyone in my family again I would tear her world apart any way I could. In my mind she didn't just hurt me, she actively did something knowing my husband and how he'd react and knowing that, still threatened the world my children know.
I haven't spoken to her in any way in over a year. In the last month she has repeatedly texted, written and emailed me. I have completley ignored her. But today my middle son gave me a note when I got home that his ';Aunt'; had given him. Apparently she has found out where we recently moved to and was waiting at my house when my boys got home from school. It said the same thing she's been saying this last month- I miss you, you were my only true friend, I need you, please forgive me.
She won't take the message and I don't know how more firm I can be about it. I texted her that she had better stay away from my family and her reply was only-Please call me. I miss you. I am so sorry. Please call.
I don't know what to do.What would you do if your ';friend'; did this?
It can only get worse. She is still not seeing you as a person with your own life. I suspect that you have been far too tolerant of her and everyone else in the past. You have to get past feeling like you did anything wrong or hurtful...you must defend yourself.
If possible, talk to your husband. If he is as scary as he sounds, let him tell her to get lost. She will only cause you worse trouble down the road. I have a sister with similar problems and after a lifetime of being together, I finally had to let her go. If nothing else, change your email address and by all means, continue to ignore her.What would you do if your ';friend'; did this?
Before I can answer, do you know why she was being so mean at this particular moment in time?
Sounds like shes a psycho. Friends are supposed to understanding and not trying to ruin other's marriage and stuff. I wouldn't respond to her as if I know she will try to do the same thing by emailing you nasty stuff etc. all over again if you make her mad once more. good luck!
wow shes a dumb ***** tell her you want nothing to do with her and if still wont leave you alone threaten 2 call the cops n if she still wont leave call the cops on her @$$
wow... if it persists and you feel your life, or your childrens lives are in danger definately go to your local law enforcement and tell them your situation
Oh Dear...
:O
I Would Reply To Her. She Might Start Getting Stalker-ish If You Don't D:
dang. That was long.
But yeah.
You should just forgive her if she's saying sorry and stuff
She could have been confussd.
Don't be to mean
Plus you guys are 30.
It's not something to get mad about or not something to ruin the frensship over it.
Forgive and forget(:
Hope I helped!(;
Tashaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa%26lt;3
It sounds to me as if too much bad stuff has happened between the two of you for you to ever be friends again. What she did was awful.
I think I would make new friends. Sometimes people have to learn the
hard way. She deserves what ever she gets. Telling your husband such a lie is unforgivable.
there is always some unexpected things happened
you should treasure the 15 years old relationship
it is enviable
I am going to be honest so prepare yourself. First of all if your sons birthday was the day after hers, you should of not made plans to go see your friend till the following weekend. Plus to she had no right to do what she did to get back at you that was wrong even if you were cheating on your husband. I understand what you are saying, but just understand that she was pissed that you went back on your word and now she regrets it horribly. But are you willing to give up 15 years of friendship. If you are a littly weiry of her just take the friendship slow. Trust me that is what I am doing to a friend right now and we used to be the best of friends till she did not invite me to her son's bday party then lied to me and said she did not have one. Oh was I mad we did not talk for seven months and just recently started talking again. I know it is tuff, but it might make you feel like a better person.
ok, first of all, holy sh*t. that woman is crazy. second, yes maybe you were a little harsh, but if she found your address and contacted your son, stay the hell away from her!!
if this does not stop, i would get a restraining order. if she can find your address, then who knows what she could do.
I would forgive her but then again I'm weird like that and don't hold grudges. I can't stay mad at people for 2 days much less a year.
First of all, I'm sorry your even going through something so unnecessary like this. But I'll start off with saying your friend really has no right. What's one birthday, right? She should be really ashamed of the way she has treated you. One thing about being a best friend, or even just a friend, is that you should be understanding with each others situations. Her reaction should have been, '; Aw bummer! Maybe next time you can come up. I miss you!'; right? Making you feel guilty, sending you hateful and nasty texts and emails isn't anyway of dealing with it either. She said all that stuff and then what, you still couldn't see her. So she has to realize that the world doesn't revolve around her and that things happen. And even though cheating on your husband is unfaithfulness, she still had no right to call your husband and tell him. That's where ';butting into other peoples business comes in.'; Although in conclusion, I am a Christian so I'm big on forgiveness. I say meet with her, talk about how you felt she handled things and how you were hurt, etc. Then set new boundaries and forgive her, and I mean truly forgive her.
I hope I helped. I'm only 16, but I think I have enough intelligence to know what's right from wrong (: Take care.
Meet with her and see what she has to say. If your still not sure about her or if she is a true friend (if she was she most likely wouldn't have treated you so badly). You should just tell her to say away that you have move on. if she continues to bother you, threaten to get a restraining order on her. However you should give her the benefit of the doubt and see what see has to say. ( you could take your husband with you so he knows what happened so she can't try to lie to him again by telling him you did something you didn't).
She is nuts, I would get a restraining order, hopefully she will stay away someone this nuts might not. Tell the kids if they see her to get away from her, do not answer the front door, check caller I.D. before you answer the phone. This is NOT a friend, something is wrong with this one.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Random Blog About My Best Friend and Her Boyfriend and Stuff?
Hey, Well, you see, my best friend is dating this guy. They have been going out for a few months now, which is really weird for my best friend because she usually only keeps a guy for 2-3 weeks and dumps him point-blank. So anyways, they have been going out for a while, which is totally fine with me, I'm not really one to get jealous too easily. My problem, though, is that not only do I get the pleasure of hearing '; I love you so much honney-bear'; or ';Dangg...don't you look delicious today, sexy'; or ';Your the cutest/hottest thing that ever walked the planet, muffin'; but I also get to hear about it...every day...all day. If I'm not with her to hear what her boyfriend has to say, then I get a 10 page synopsis about it later. She talks about him CONSTANTLY. It's never ending, I swear to you people. Now, you can say that I'm jealous or whatever, but its not even jealousy anymore, its annoyance. Period. Also, no matter what I say to her, it always turns into a story about her boyfriend. ';Oh My Gosh! That totally reminds me of the time when he did this and this and this!!'; And mind you, I don't really say anything, but ';Awl! How sweet!'; Even though hes only said that to her...what...410 times!? (lol) Also...They think I like him! HAHA! No Mam/Sir! There is no possible way...EVER...that I would like him. Sorry! Thats not really my main concern though...She also takes everything he says to her head. Saying things like ';He said this shirt makes my boobs look big, it does! Doesnt it!?'; or ';Awl he told me I'm really hot...I have gotten a lot prettier lately!'; or ';man I look really good today';. (Mind you, it's not that shes ugly or anything, but believe me, I've seen prettier) Something else, I'm usually completely avoided. Other than when shes talking about him, it's a typical ';Hi.'; Oh my gosh...and one more thing...even though she already has a boyfriend...EVERY GUY THAT ';LIKES ME'; somehow ends up liking her in the end...(which I hear from her, so I'm guessing its untrue) but she tries to make me like jealous of her or something..shes always like yeah, he texted me the other day and told me he hates you now and moved on to me because I'm nicer and prettier than you. (shes done this to me numerous times and says the same thing every time) and one time I even asked one of the boys and their response to that was HECK NOO SHES SO UGLY AND THATS SO UNTRUE! so i figure all the other times shes said it were lies too. Well I think I've said enough, and if you want any additional details, then post it and I'll try and answer them lol..Thanks for listening! HaaaRandom Blog About My Best Friend and Her Boyfriend and Stuff?
i think you need a new friend. Sounds like this chick is not your friend, she only tries to belittle you and find ways to make you feel less pretty, attractive or whatever. you don't need her so don't even waste you time trying to rescue a friendship that doesn't exist or that was lost from the beginning. A true friend would not tell you the mean things she tells you.Random Blog About My Best Friend and Her Boyfriend and Stuff?
I wouldn't waste any time with this creature. Give her a wide berth don't answer her emails or even open them. She'll land with a big thud one of these days and then just be an ordinary little strumpet. Your life will be so much more enjoyable without her.Fish
i think you need a new friend. Sounds like this chick is not your friend, she only tries to belittle you and find ways to make you feel less pretty, attractive or whatever. you don't need her so don't even waste you time trying to rescue a friendship that doesn't exist or that was lost from the beginning. A true friend would not tell you the mean things she tells you.Random Blog About My Best Friend and Her Boyfriend and Stuff?
I wouldn't waste any time with this creature. Give her a wide berth don't answer her emails or even open them. She'll land with a big thud one of these days and then just be an ordinary little strumpet. Your life will be so much more enjoyable without her.
Random Blog About My Best Friend and Her Boyfriend and Stuff?
Hey, Well, you see, my best friend is dating this guy. They have been going out for a few months now, which is really weird for my best friend because she usually only keeps a guy for 2-3 weeks and dumps him point-blank. So anyways, they have been going out for a while, which is totally fine with me, I'm not really one to get jealous too easily. My problem, though, is that not only do I get the pleasure of hearing '; I love you so much honney-bear'; or ';Dangg...don't you look delicious today, sexy'; or ';Your the cutest/hottest thing that ever walked the planet, muffin'; but I also get to hear about it...every day...all day. If I'm not with her to hear what her boyfriend has to say, then I get a 10 page synopsis about it later. She talks about him CONSTANTLY. It's never ending, I swear to you people. Now, you can say that I'm jealous or whatever, but its not even jealousy anymore, its annoyance. Period. Also, no matter what I say to her, it always turns into a story about her boyfriend. ';Oh My Gosh! That totally reminds me of the time when he did this and this and this!!'; And mind you, I don't really say anything, but ';Awl! How sweet!'; Even though hes only said that to her...what...410 times!? (lol) Also...They think I like him! HAHA! No Mam/Sir! There is no possible way...EVER...that I would like him. Sorry! Thats not really my main concern though...She also takes everything he says to her head. Saying things like ';He said this shirt makes my boobs look big, it does! Doesnt it!?'; or ';Awl he told me I'm really hot...I have gotten a lot prettier lately!'; or ';man I look really good today';. (Mind you, it's not that shes ugly or anything, but believe me, I've seen prettier) Something else, I'm usually completely avoided. Other than when shes talking about him, it's a typical ';Hi.'; Oh my gosh...and one more thing...even though she already has a boyfriend...EVERY GUY THAT ';LIKES ME'; somehow ends up liking her in the end...(which I hear from her, so I'm guessing its untrue) but she tries to make me like jealous of her or something..shes always like yeah, he texted me the other day and told me he hates you now and moved on to me because I'm nicer and prettier than you. (shes done this to me numerous times and says the same thing every time) and one time I even asked one of the boys and their response to that was HECK NOO SHES SO UGLY AND THATS SO UNTRUE! so i figure all the other times shes said it were lies too. Well I think I've said enough, and if you want any additional details, then post it and I'll try and answer them lol..Thanks for listening! HaaaRandom Blog About My Best Friend and Her Boyfriend and Stuff?
i think you need a new friend. Sounds like this chick is not your friend, she only tries to belittle you and find ways to make you feel less pretty, attractive or whatever. you don't need her so don't even waste you time trying to rescue a friendship that doesn't exist or that was lost from the beginning. A true friend would not tell you the mean things she tells you.Random Blog About My Best Friend and Her Boyfriend and Stuff?
I wouldn't waste any time with this creature. Give her a wide berth don't answer her emails or even open them. She'll land with a big thud one of these days and then just be an ordinary little strumpet. Your life will be so much more enjoyable without her.
i think you need a new friend. Sounds like this chick is not your friend, she only tries to belittle you and find ways to make you feel less pretty, attractive or whatever. you don't need her so don't even waste you time trying to rescue a friendship that doesn't exist or that was lost from the beginning. A true friend would not tell you the mean things she tells you.Random Blog About My Best Friend and Her Boyfriend and Stuff?
I wouldn't waste any time with this creature. Give her a wide berth don't answer her emails or even open them. She'll land with a big thud one of these days and then just be an ordinary little strumpet. Your life will be so much more enjoyable without her.
Over 20 please:) This is kind of long but your mature/smart advice would be appreciated so much:)?
should i try to see him more or actually let him figure things out and continue to give him complete space
im just scared its going to be ';out of sight, out of mind kinda thing :(';
here is the story.
My bf turned 22 and i guess had a reality check. We were dating for 2 years and he was telling me how he feels old etc.
then BOOM..we broke up but it was bitter sweet.
He tells me how much he loves me and how hard it is and how amazing i am and how much he wishes he was 25 so he could marry me right now etc.
but his mind is made up aboutthe breakup and even though i tried talking about it he gets mad. so i have to leave it
should i just leave him and give himhis space and let him figure things out?
Its so tough. I saw him 2 weeks ago (we broke up on feb 1st) and he cant stop hugging me and treating me like his gf again when we see each other...open my door, kiss my hands, my nose etc.
We are also both in ourr 4th year of university as well
Honestly, the relationship was so mature and great. Even he admitted that when he was talking about it..sad ofcourse.
We hvant talked since Valentines day and its hard because we talked everyday for a 2 years.But that was his choice. I alwtas told him no pressure if he doenst have the time to text or call but for 2 years he always texted me ';goodnight love';.. I know he still loves me and still cares. The last 2 times i saw him he couldnt let go of me and couldnt stop telling me that yet didnt want to talk about why he wants this.
ok, so its been a month and he saw my a university the other day and i waved to him...he came up to me and hugged me for the longest time and kissed my forehead. I was confused!! he sent me a msg later that night saying ti was good to see me and that he enjoyed the hug he also said that if we had started dating when we were 24/25 i would have been the one. %26amp; that right now he needs to figure himself out first.
i replied and i agreed with him that he needs to figure things out
and that 24/25 thing doesnt matter as you cannot time things like that.
I wished him luck in his studies and everything
do you think i handled it well?!?!?!
ok its been about a month and half since the break up. I saw him on the bus at university on friday and said hi to him he grabbed me adn hugged me adn kissed my forehead. When we were tlaking he kept saying how excited he is his car is running and kept asking me what im doing this weekend. He was making fun of me sometimes too %26amp; hugged me. You know the usual stuff when we were dating. He seemed really happy to see me though, Then as he was getting off the bus he said that if him and his friend go out this weekend that i shoul come out with them. I dont think they ended up going out but im really confused as to waht he wants. Clearly he still misses me but isnt really doing anything :S But, its a good feeling to know he's still so nice you know. Im just kinda torn between fully focusing on moving on or giving it time. Moving on would be awkward though since the whole relationship up until that point was filled wiht fun and laughter :)Over 20 please:) This is kind of long but your mature/smart advice would be appreciated so much:)?
give him some time. If it is meant to be, it will be.Over 20 please:) This is kind of long but your mature/smart advice would be appreciated so much:)?
It sounds like he still cares very much about you but doesn't want a relationship right now. I would keep things civil and friendly and if it's meant to be you might find yourselves back together someday. You are both very young and it wouldn't hurt to date other people and see what is out there. I would try and move on with your life for now.
Sounds to me that he is into you but doesnt want a relationship with you right now. It sounds like maybe he is also into someone else and is keeping his options open. The whole thing about 24/25 getting married comment means that you are marriage material and that he is not looking for that right now. Sounds to me like you should move on. I know as hard as it sounds its probable best. Its going to be hard, yes. I have been in this same situation. But if he cant make up his mind, then talk to him about how he is making you confused. Yes this conversation will be hard to bring up, but it will put your mind at ease and maybe help him make up his mind. Dont worry girl it will all work out for the best wether its the 2 of you together or not....Good Luck!!!
im just scared its going to be ';out of sight, out of mind kinda thing :(';
here is the story.
My bf turned 22 and i guess had a reality check. We were dating for 2 years and he was telling me how he feels old etc.
then BOOM..we broke up but it was bitter sweet.
He tells me how much he loves me and how hard it is and how amazing i am and how much he wishes he was 25 so he could marry me right now etc.
but his mind is made up aboutthe breakup and even though i tried talking about it he gets mad. so i have to leave it
should i just leave him and give himhis space and let him figure things out?
Its so tough. I saw him 2 weeks ago (we broke up on feb 1st) and he cant stop hugging me and treating me like his gf again when we see each other...open my door, kiss my hands, my nose etc.
We are also both in ourr 4th year of university as well
Honestly, the relationship was so mature and great. Even he admitted that when he was talking about it..sad ofcourse.
We hvant talked since Valentines day and its hard because we talked everyday for a 2 years.But that was his choice. I alwtas told him no pressure if he doenst have the time to text or call but for 2 years he always texted me ';goodnight love';.. I know he still loves me and still cares. The last 2 times i saw him he couldnt let go of me and couldnt stop telling me that yet didnt want to talk about why he wants this.
ok, so its been a month and he saw my a university the other day and i waved to him...he came up to me and hugged me for the longest time and kissed my forehead. I was confused!! he sent me a msg later that night saying ti was good to see me and that he enjoyed the hug he also said that if we had started dating when we were 24/25 i would have been the one. %26amp; that right now he needs to figure himself out first.
i replied and i agreed with him that he needs to figure things out
and that 24/25 thing doesnt matter as you cannot time things like that.
I wished him luck in his studies and everything
do you think i handled it well?!?!?!
ok its been about a month and half since the break up. I saw him on the bus at university on friday and said hi to him he grabbed me adn hugged me adn kissed my forehead. When we were tlaking he kept saying how excited he is his car is running and kept asking me what im doing this weekend. He was making fun of me sometimes too %26amp; hugged me. You know the usual stuff when we were dating. He seemed really happy to see me though, Then as he was getting off the bus he said that if him and his friend go out this weekend that i shoul come out with them. I dont think they ended up going out but im really confused as to waht he wants. Clearly he still misses me but isnt really doing anything :S But, its a good feeling to know he's still so nice you know. Im just kinda torn between fully focusing on moving on or giving it time. Moving on would be awkward though since the whole relationship up until that point was filled wiht fun and laughter :)Over 20 please:) This is kind of long but your mature/smart advice would be appreciated so much:)?
give him some time. If it is meant to be, it will be.Over 20 please:) This is kind of long but your mature/smart advice would be appreciated so much:)?
It sounds like he still cares very much about you but doesn't want a relationship right now. I would keep things civil and friendly and if it's meant to be you might find yourselves back together someday. You are both very young and it wouldn't hurt to date other people and see what is out there. I would try and move on with your life for now.
Sounds to me that he is into you but doesnt want a relationship with you right now. It sounds like maybe he is also into someone else and is keeping his options open. The whole thing about 24/25 getting married comment means that you are marriage material and that he is not looking for that right now. Sounds to me like you should move on. I know as hard as it sounds its probable best. Its going to be hard, yes. I have been in this same situation. But if he cant make up his mind, then talk to him about how he is making you confused. Yes this conversation will be hard to bring up, but it will put your mind at ease and maybe help him make up his mind. Dont worry girl it will all work out for the best wether its the 2 of you together or not....Good Luck!!!
Ladies: If one of your childhood friend tried to seduce your husband, would you be friends (please read)?
Ok, so my wife's best friend since elementary school (who's also married) tried to seduce me. I always thought she had a thing for me, but I assumed I was just making things up in my mind. One day while we were hanging out, when her husband went upstairs to look for something and my wife went to the bathroom, she moved our to the couch next to me, unbuttoned the top of her shirt, leaned over and whispered (you can imagine what) in my ear. Now I promptly said no thanks and went upstairs to help her husband find what he was looking for.
When we got home I told my wife and she said it was probably because the other day, they were comparing sex lives and my wife mentioned that she always orgasms with me (i'm the only person she's been with), to which, her friend got really quiet, then asked a bunch of questions about my size and stuff, which I guess women share with each other. It was news to me.
Anyway, I asked if there was anything she was going to do about what happened and she said nothing, ';that's just how she is';. Then she made a joke about me being worried about my virtue and how she wouldn't leave me alone with her again if I was afraid it would happen again. Should I be alarmed at that reaction?
FYI, this happened a couple of months ago and since then, I've been making excuses to cancel our ';marriage dates';. Should I just get over it and deal with her and hope that situation doesn't occur again?Ladies: If one of your childhood friend tried to seduce your husband, would you be friends (please read)?
One of us would be either a divorcee or a widow/widower by now.
And my wife would have one less ';friend'; to worry about.Ladies: If one of your childhood friend tried to seduce your husband, would you be friends (please read)?
keep it in your pants dude.
Deal with it. You are over thinking this. Follow your wife's lead and advice.
Tell her friend to back off or you will talk to her husband.
yeah the more you avoid the more she going to chase
next time your together speak on how much you trust and love your wife and ask the other husband the same then she might feel guilty and stop
No
keep cancelling your marriage dates.
it's probably going to happen again anyways, so hoping it doesnt occur again isnt really going to change anything. and you're going to turn her down again, so dont worry about whether you'll do the right thing on your part.
i dont know why your wife is comfortable with her friend.
if you should meet up with the 'friend' again in whatever situation, then just try to avoid her or keep the talk to a minimum and walk away. you dont have to 'deal' with it and be comfortable with the situation.
no this is not normal and i dont discuss my size or stuff with my friends but the most i say is oh man we had some crazy sex last night and thats it.
and if any woman for that matter my sister , cousin, best friend , neighbor, grandma for that matter came and made a move on my man you would bet ur last dollar she would not be in one piece after i got done with her
thats no joke when a women flirts with a man and the girl is being very upfront about it so dont take her lightly.
stay away from the couple and i would even tell the husband what his wife was like
why isn't ur wife mad id be calling her that night saying we need to talk and you know damn well what about
i dont play around with any BODY when it comes to my man,
he is my meat and im a carnivore !
When we got home I told my wife and she said it was probably because the other day, they were comparing sex lives and my wife mentioned that she always orgasms with me (i'm the only person she's been with), to which, her friend got really quiet, then asked a bunch of questions about my size and stuff, which I guess women share with each other. It was news to me.
Anyway, I asked if there was anything she was going to do about what happened and she said nothing, ';that's just how she is';. Then she made a joke about me being worried about my virtue and how she wouldn't leave me alone with her again if I was afraid it would happen again. Should I be alarmed at that reaction?
FYI, this happened a couple of months ago and since then, I've been making excuses to cancel our ';marriage dates';. Should I just get over it and deal with her and hope that situation doesn't occur again?Ladies: If one of your childhood friend tried to seduce your husband, would you be friends (please read)?
One of us would be either a divorcee or a widow/widower by now.
And my wife would have one less ';friend'; to worry about.Ladies: If one of your childhood friend tried to seduce your husband, would you be friends (please read)?
keep it in your pants dude.
Deal with it. You are over thinking this. Follow your wife's lead and advice.
Tell her friend to back off or you will talk to her husband.
yeah the more you avoid the more she going to chase
next time your together speak on how much you trust and love your wife and ask the other husband the same then she might feel guilty and stop
No
keep cancelling your marriage dates.
it's probably going to happen again anyways, so hoping it doesnt occur again isnt really going to change anything. and you're going to turn her down again, so dont worry about whether you'll do the right thing on your part.
i dont know why your wife is comfortable with her friend.
if you should meet up with the 'friend' again in whatever situation, then just try to avoid her or keep the talk to a minimum and walk away. you dont have to 'deal' with it and be comfortable with the situation.
no this is not normal and i dont discuss my size or stuff with my friends but the most i say is oh man we had some crazy sex last night and thats it.
and if any woman for that matter my sister , cousin, best friend , neighbor, grandma for that matter came and made a move on my man you would bet ur last dollar she would not be in one piece after i got done with her
thats no joke when a women flirts with a man and the girl is being very upfront about it so dont take her lightly.
stay away from the couple and i would even tell the husband what his wife was like
why isn't ur wife mad id be calling her that night saying we need to talk and you know damn well what about
i dont play around with any BODY when it comes to my man,
he is my meat and im a carnivore !
What does it mean if your making out with a guy and he starts.......doing things?
Okay,i barely met this guy twice,the first time i didn't even know his name,the second time,we talked ALL night,so we practically knew everything about each other,then I told him how I was fascinated with guys,and I also tell him that I'm not that experienced,and he was like ';are you curious,answer truthfully';, so I did and I said ';yes';.Later on,it was like 7:00 AM and i was pretending to get tired even though I wasn't because every-time I was talking,and I wasn't looking at him,I could feel him staring at me,and when I was looking directly at him,the way he looked at me,it was as if he was a new born baby and I was his mother;like he admired me,and all he wanted was me.Of course I liked it,from the moment I seen him I wanted to talk to him,and basically,I thought he was hot.He was kinda lying down next to me,but I was lying like this-----%26gt; / and he was straight,that's when it started.I'm honestly kinda young and not that experienced when it comes to physical stuff.He started grabbing my waist and rubbing my back,but my head was face down on the pillow.He was saying ';has a guy ever done this to you?'; and I would answer yes in the hopes that he would stop even though my heart and mind didn't want him too.I could then feel his hand moving my hair out of the way from the side of my face to behind my ear. he then procedded to pull me closer to him by grabbing my arm and my waist.He kept telling me to look at him but I refused even though I just wanted to kiss him already.He then flipped all my hair to the right side of my neck because he was on my left.I could feel his soft, warm lips touchng my neck;it was sending chills down my spine,but i loved it.I craved it.I then started to think again,if I continued to let this happen I would have a hicky and my mother would literally murder me so I turned...not to my right,but to my left...towards him. At this point i was closer to him then these letters are.He then kissed me right next to my mouth;directly on the side.After that I knew he was headed for my lips,but I didn't care.I didn't twitch nor breathe.This is what I wanted from the second I seen him.Then we started to kiss and he held me tight so we would stay as close as we were.He was rubbing his hand on my back,and he started to go lower.I thought he was going to grab my butt,but instead he grabbed my leg and put it over his,and I clung onto him and wrapped my leg around his. He then softly licked my upper lip with his tounge,and i knew that meant he would like to start french-kissing.I repeated what he did and of course,we started to french-kiss. His hand was on my back again but this time he went lower again and did start to grab my butt,roughly though.Then he just put his hand in my jean pocket and proceeded to grab my butt. Oh yeah,I forgot to mention this whole time he didn't have his shirt on,but I was fully clothed.Since we were so close,I could feel his penis through his jeans,I think that's what he wanted to happen though. I then started to kiss other parts of his body because I was on top of him,but he completely flipped me over and he started to do other things.All I will say is pulled my shirt up and was kissing me EVERYWHERE. I don't know why he did all these things though,I thought he wanted to have sex but me and him had already discussed that we were way to young for that,even though he was a few years older than I was.What do you guys think?What does it mean if your making out with a guy and he starts.......doing things?
I agree with tintin.
Something to remember: SEX is like skateboarding.
At first, you are happy with just balancing yourself on your skateboard. Eventually you get bored with that and want to start using it in the driveway. Eventually that too, becomes boring and you want to go on the road, ramps, etc.
Same thing with sex.
If you start with the heavy kissing, eventually it will lead to caressing, horniness, sex.
IF you guys already said you wouldn't have sex, then you should never put yourself in a position where you are alone with him, never mind the lying on the bed thingamigiggi, and you should stop him when he is holding you like that and caressing you like that.
Think of the skateboard.
Do something fun together and get to know each other. That is the best part. Sex confuses everything if you do it when you are not ready or when you are too young.
IF possible, wait for marriage or adulthood before you do.What does it mean if your making out with a guy and he starts.......doing things?
Haha this is kind of random but you should be an author the way you describe things is incredible! Not just because it was about sex and whatever but it sounds really good!
He wants sex.
What is even worse, you went along with it without a single protest.
he kinda wanted to do 'it'. he definately did. hope it didnt go any further!
Sounds like a book...
What do we think? You are obviously a horny tease.
im not reading all that crap.
but he obv wants sex
well how old are you guys?
You just met him. If hes already trying for sex that's probably all that he wants especially if hes already trying to seduce you when you have said that you're not ready. Why dont you try dating him for a while without sex and see how long he lasts as a partner. I wouldn't go farther than making out until you are ready.
Take it from my experience. When I was 17 I met a 20 year old the same thing happened to me and I was too ';in love'; with him to see that he only wanted my body. We had sex. He acted interested for 4 months and then just started to ignore me, snap at me, and spend alot of alone time with other girls. On my 18th birthday he stayed out all night with my ';friend';, I broke up with him and less than a week later he was dating my ';friend'; who now has his year old baby who he never sees because he cheated on her too many times.
he wants to have sex alright.....
he didn't want to go fast at first
answer mines please
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
OMG . . . u should be publishing things like this . the way u wrote this gave me an erection . . .
. . . well , back to the question , he wants to have sex . . .
im not gonna read that, but will say that when a guy does that, it means that he does not respect you and is using you for sex.
Wow...THIS IS WAY TO LONG.My head hurts.But from what i skimmed through,It looks like he wants to get to know your insides..DITCH HIM! If he cant respect the fact you want to wait..Then hes a jerk.
I agree with tintin.
Something to remember: SEX is like skateboarding.
At first, you are happy with just balancing yourself on your skateboard. Eventually you get bored with that and want to start using it in the driveway. Eventually that too, becomes boring and you want to go on the road, ramps, etc.
Same thing with sex.
If you start with the heavy kissing, eventually it will lead to caressing, horniness, sex.
IF you guys already said you wouldn't have sex, then you should never put yourself in a position where you are alone with him, never mind the lying on the bed thingamigiggi, and you should stop him when he is holding you like that and caressing you like that.
Think of the skateboard.
Do something fun together and get to know each other. That is the best part. Sex confuses everything if you do it when you are not ready or when you are too young.
IF possible, wait for marriage or adulthood before you do.What does it mean if your making out with a guy and he starts.......doing things?
Haha this is kind of random but you should be an author the way you describe things is incredible! Not just because it was about sex and whatever but it sounds really good!
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He wants sex.
What is even worse, you went along with it without a single protest.
he kinda wanted to do 'it'. he definately did. hope it didnt go any further!
Sounds like a book...
What do we think? You are obviously a horny tease.
im not reading all that crap.
but he obv wants sex
well how old are you guys?
You just met him. If hes already trying for sex that's probably all that he wants especially if hes already trying to seduce you when you have said that you're not ready. Why dont you try dating him for a while without sex and see how long he lasts as a partner. I wouldn't go farther than making out until you are ready.
Take it from my experience. When I was 17 I met a 20 year old the same thing happened to me and I was too ';in love'; with him to see that he only wanted my body. We had sex. He acted interested for 4 months and then just started to ignore me, snap at me, and spend alot of alone time with other girls. On my 18th birthday he stayed out all night with my ';friend';, I broke up with him and less than a week later he was dating my ';friend'; who now has his year old baby who he never sees because he cheated on her too many times.
he wants to have sex alright.....
he didn't want to go fast at first
answer mines please
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
OMG . . . u should be publishing things like this . the way u wrote this gave me an erection . . .
. . . well , back to the question , he wants to have sex . . .
im not gonna read that, but will say that when a guy does that, it means that he does not respect you and is using you for sex.
Wow...THIS IS WAY TO LONG.My head hurts.But from what i skimmed through,It looks like he wants to get to know your insides..DITCH HIM! If he cant respect the fact you want to wait..Then hes a jerk.
Over 20 please. Would love your mature advice. Sorry this is kind of long.?
should i try to see him more or actually let him figure things out and continue to give him complete space
im just scared its going to be ';out of sight, out of mind kinda thing :(';
here is the story.
My bf turned 22 and i guess had a reality check. We were dating for 2 years and he was telling me how he feels old etc.
then BOOM..we broke up but it was bitter sweet.
He tells me how much he loves me and how hard it is and how amazing i am and how much he wishes he was 25 so he could marry me right now etc.
but his mind is made up aboutthe breakup and even though i tried talking about it he gets mad. so i have to leave it
should i just leave him and give himhis space and let him figure things out?
Its so tough. I saw him 2 weeks ago (we broke up on feb 1st) and he cant stop hugging me and treating me like his gf again when we see each other...open my door, kiss my hands, my nose etc.
We are also both in ourr 4th year of university as well
Honestly, the relationship was so mature and great. Even he admitted that when he was talking about it..sad ofcourse.
We hvant talked since Valentines day and its hard because we talked everyday for a 2 years.But that was his choice. I alwtas told him no pressure if he doenst have the time to text or call but for 2 years he always texted me ';goodnight love';.. I know he still loves me and still cares. The last 2 times i saw him he couldnt let go of me and couldnt stop telling me that yet didnt want to talk about why he wants this.
ok, so its been a month and he saw my a university the other day and i waved to him...he came up to me and hugged me for the longest time and kissed my forehead. I was confused!! he sent me a msg later that night saying ti was good to see me and that he enjoyed the hug he also said that if we had started dating when we were 24/25 i would have been the one. %26amp; that right now he needs to figure himself out first.
i replied and i agreed with him that he needs to figure things out
and that 24/25 thing doesnt matter as you cannot time things like that.
I wished him luck in his studies and everything
do you think i handled it well?!?!?!
ok its been about a month and half since the break up. I saw him on the bus at university on friday and said hi to him he grabbed me adn hugged me adn kissed my forehead. When we were tlaking he kept saying how excited he is his car is running and kept asking me what im doing this weekend. He was making fun of me sometimes too %26amp; hugged me. You know the usual stuff when we were dating. He seemed really happy to see me though, Then as he was getting off the bus he said that if him and his friend go out this weekend that i shoul come out with them. I dont think they ended up going out but im really confused as to waht he wants. Clearly he still misses me but isnt really doing anything :S But, its a good feeling to know he's still so nice you know. Im just kinda torn between fully focusing on moving on or giving it time. Moving on would be awkward though since the whole relationship up until that point was filled wiht fun and laughter :)Over 20 please. Would love your mature advice. Sorry this is kind of long.?
Awh thats so sweet. It sounds like he doesnt really want to move on... he seems to be kinda scared of commitment or something. was he hurt in the past? I think right now he's just worried about the future... I know my bf said he wants to marry me but like in 5 years or something from now... your boyfriend is prob just scared of the whole settling down thing. Id say just try and leave it for now... he has to think things through. During this time keep yourself busy, go out with the girls, focus on your school work. I know this may seem impossible. You just have to wait like at least 2 weeks, then go back to him and say ';Hi hun. Do you want to meet up for a chat or something? Coffee?'; something like that and then you can go over all these feelings. cuz he's left you wondering is there hope? Ask him to put it straight... ask him how do you feel or what?Over 20 please. Would love your mature advice. Sorry this is kind of long.?
Sweet:
Hi there hon. I'm 31. :) Anywho, I see you say that this guy was adamant about the break up %26amp; has even gotten mad about you pushing a possible ';back together?'; Hrmmm...
The sweetness on his part when he is bumping into you is all fine %26amp; nice if you didn't have a heart. But you do %26amp; yours is breaking. Mix signals after a break up are heart wrenching %26amp; cruel. Seems to me he wants all your fun %26amp; laughter without the commitment, which can be fine, ONCE you've gotten OVER him. Him doting on you %26amp; planting little kisses all over you isn't going to take the hurt away from the break-up. All it's going to do is continue to cause you to hang on %26amp; give him what he wants. You need to make youself unavailable to him for a good amount of time until your head (and your heart!) are clear on this whole mess. If you can't avoid bumping into him, make damn sure you keep him at arms length when you do; if he gets defensive, just be frank %26amp; tell him it's confusing %26amp; hurtful to you when he gets all intimate like that and you need that physical space to help yourslef move on. He'll either respect your wishes %26amp; back off nicely, realize he was a jerk %26amp; doesn't want to be without you, or be a total dick %26amp; get defensive and if thats his response, you are far better off without him. Much luck, my dear! Hope I have helped!
im just scared its going to be ';out of sight, out of mind kinda thing :(';
here is the story.
My bf turned 22 and i guess had a reality check. We were dating for 2 years and he was telling me how he feels old etc.
then BOOM..we broke up but it was bitter sweet.
He tells me how much he loves me and how hard it is and how amazing i am and how much he wishes he was 25 so he could marry me right now etc.
but his mind is made up aboutthe breakup and even though i tried talking about it he gets mad. so i have to leave it
should i just leave him and give himhis space and let him figure things out?
Its so tough. I saw him 2 weeks ago (we broke up on feb 1st) and he cant stop hugging me and treating me like his gf again when we see each other...open my door, kiss my hands, my nose etc.
We are also both in ourr 4th year of university as well
Honestly, the relationship was so mature and great. Even he admitted that when he was talking about it..sad ofcourse.
We hvant talked since Valentines day and its hard because we talked everyday for a 2 years.But that was his choice. I alwtas told him no pressure if he doenst have the time to text or call but for 2 years he always texted me ';goodnight love';.. I know he still loves me and still cares. The last 2 times i saw him he couldnt let go of me and couldnt stop telling me that yet didnt want to talk about why he wants this.
ok, so its been a month and he saw my a university the other day and i waved to him...he came up to me and hugged me for the longest time and kissed my forehead. I was confused!! he sent me a msg later that night saying ti was good to see me and that he enjoyed the hug he also said that if we had started dating when we were 24/25 i would have been the one. %26amp; that right now he needs to figure himself out first.
i replied and i agreed with him that he needs to figure things out
and that 24/25 thing doesnt matter as you cannot time things like that.
I wished him luck in his studies and everything
do you think i handled it well?!?!?!
ok its been about a month and half since the break up. I saw him on the bus at university on friday and said hi to him he grabbed me adn hugged me adn kissed my forehead. When we were tlaking he kept saying how excited he is his car is running and kept asking me what im doing this weekend. He was making fun of me sometimes too %26amp; hugged me. You know the usual stuff when we were dating. He seemed really happy to see me though, Then as he was getting off the bus he said that if him and his friend go out this weekend that i shoul come out with them. I dont think they ended up going out but im really confused as to waht he wants. Clearly he still misses me but isnt really doing anything :S But, its a good feeling to know he's still so nice you know. Im just kinda torn between fully focusing on moving on or giving it time. Moving on would be awkward though since the whole relationship up until that point was filled wiht fun and laughter :)Over 20 please. Would love your mature advice. Sorry this is kind of long.?
Awh thats so sweet. It sounds like he doesnt really want to move on... he seems to be kinda scared of commitment or something. was he hurt in the past? I think right now he's just worried about the future... I know my bf said he wants to marry me but like in 5 years or something from now... your boyfriend is prob just scared of the whole settling down thing. Id say just try and leave it for now... he has to think things through. During this time keep yourself busy, go out with the girls, focus on your school work. I know this may seem impossible. You just have to wait like at least 2 weeks, then go back to him and say ';Hi hun. Do you want to meet up for a chat or something? Coffee?'; something like that and then you can go over all these feelings. cuz he's left you wondering is there hope? Ask him to put it straight... ask him how do you feel or what?Over 20 please. Would love your mature advice. Sorry this is kind of long.?
Sweet:
Hi there hon. I'm 31. :) Anywho, I see you say that this guy was adamant about the break up %26amp; has even gotten mad about you pushing a possible ';back together?'; Hrmmm...
The sweetness on his part when he is bumping into you is all fine %26amp; nice if you didn't have a heart. But you do %26amp; yours is breaking. Mix signals after a break up are heart wrenching %26amp; cruel. Seems to me he wants all your fun %26amp; laughter without the commitment, which can be fine, ONCE you've gotten OVER him. Him doting on you %26amp; planting little kisses all over you isn't going to take the hurt away from the break-up. All it's going to do is continue to cause you to hang on %26amp; give him what he wants. You need to make youself unavailable to him for a good amount of time until your head (and your heart!) are clear on this whole mess. If you can't avoid bumping into him, make damn sure you keep him at arms length when you do; if he gets defensive, just be frank %26amp; tell him it's confusing %26amp; hurtful to you when he gets all intimate like that and you need that physical space to help yourslef move on. He'll either respect your wishes %26amp; back off nicely, realize he was a jerk %26amp; doesn't want to be without you, or be a total dick %26amp; get defensive and if thats his response, you are far better off without him. Much luck, my dear! Hope I have helped!
Sex question. please dont read if offended by sex.?
okay, before i begin; please dont report this, im not trying to take the piss, i am being genuine and i want to know, but i cant exactly ask people about this cos its embarassing, and nobody knows each other on here.. also i have warned you not to read it if you dont want to, so please dont have a go at me, im not trying to be disgusting at all.
right, i have been with my lovely boyfriend for 4 months, i feel so lucky to have found him, seriously, hes so perfect, and we both love each other so much, he stayed round mine on thursday night and he was really in the mood for sex, but i felt really tired and a bit ill so i wasnt at all, he did a bit of foreplay and it was really nice, we did try and have sex but i just was too dry and not in the mood (sorry if TMI) anyway, hes had to work away this week, and he only comes home on weekends, hes going to be doing this for 6 weeks.
i want to have sex with him this weekend cos i really missed him, and i know he wants to have sex this weekend too.. i want it to be really nice for him tho, his favourite position is the girl on top, i dont mind doing it (hes the only person ive slept with btw) and ive only done it twice, but they werent really that great.. basically what im asking is, how can i be on top and do it quite well? lol, i just find its really tiring and hard to move up and down with your thighs.. do you go up and down on it, or backwards and forwards? thats what ive wanted to know lol, i wanna do other stuff like sort of move my hips around over .. it.. lol, but im just stuck on that.. really sorry if this has grossed you out!
im 17 and hes 19 if that helps
we both have no STDs and im on birth control pills so we dont use condoms. just extra info if you need it lol!
x
leave your qs if you want :)Sex question. please dont read if offended by sex.?
1. I'm glad your on birth control pills. Just remember that you will need to use condoms if you ever have to take antibiotics since the antibiotics can/will mess with the pills ability to prevent pregnancy.
2. Everyone is different with what feels good and what movement it takes for that to happen. So for you to get the most out of sex, you need to communicate with your partner. You need to experiment and be patient. Also, don't worry all the time about what your partner wants. As a woman, you need to know what makes you feel good so take some alone time for yourself.
3. To truly be a responsible young adult; make sure to get yourself checked for STD's every 6 months. I know your partner may be faithful now but things can change. My husband was surprised when I told him that I go every 6 months. His argument was that we were married. My argument was that I was married (and cheated on) before him. Plus this is my insurance that I'm in a stable relationship. Should he ever be unfaithful (I doubt he would) at least he'll know that I'm checking myself so maybe he'll use a condom if he were to ever cheat.Sex question. please dont read if offended by sex.?
Ok you shouldn't be embarrased to ask this. It's really not that big of a deal. Anyway, the first thing to remember when being on top is to use your hips!! Grind in a circular motion, and move as if you're riding on top of a horse, up and down. Switch up your speed and have fun! Lean towards him while you're on top for more clitoral stimulation.
ok. nobody better report me either, lol but sometimes ur jst going to have to take the pain in your thigh muscles, but consider it as an excersice, becuase it sort of is, and you will be sore the next day. when you do get tired, just push your upper body front and back. if u can, go backwards while on him, bcuz they like that aswel. hopefully when u start slowing down he wil ';help you.'; like hold your waist and lift u up and down on him. and if not, most guys also like doggy style. i hope this helps(:
right, i have been with my lovely boyfriend for 4 months, i feel so lucky to have found him, seriously, hes so perfect, and we both love each other so much, he stayed round mine on thursday night and he was really in the mood for sex, but i felt really tired and a bit ill so i wasnt at all, he did a bit of foreplay and it was really nice, we did try and have sex but i just was too dry and not in the mood (sorry if TMI) anyway, hes had to work away this week, and he only comes home on weekends, hes going to be doing this for 6 weeks.
i want to have sex with him this weekend cos i really missed him, and i know he wants to have sex this weekend too.. i want it to be really nice for him tho, his favourite position is the girl on top, i dont mind doing it (hes the only person ive slept with btw) and ive only done it twice, but they werent really that great.. basically what im asking is, how can i be on top and do it quite well? lol, i just find its really tiring and hard to move up and down with your thighs.. do you go up and down on it, or backwards and forwards? thats what ive wanted to know lol, i wanna do other stuff like sort of move my hips around over .. it.. lol, but im just stuck on that.. really sorry if this has grossed you out!
im 17 and hes 19 if that helps
we both have no STDs and im on birth control pills so we dont use condoms. just extra info if you need it lol!
x
leave your qs if you want :)Sex question. please dont read if offended by sex.?
1. I'm glad your on birth control pills. Just remember that you will need to use condoms if you ever have to take antibiotics since the antibiotics can/will mess with the pills ability to prevent pregnancy.
2. Everyone is different with what feels good and what movement it takes for that to happen. So for you to get the most out of sex, you need to communicate with your partner. You need to experiment and be patient. Also, don't worry all the time about what your partner wants. As a woman, you need to know what makes you feel good so take some alone time for yourself.
3. To truly be a responsible young adult; make sure to get yourself checked for STD's every 6 months. I know your partner may be faithful now but things can change. My husband was surprised when I told him that I go every 6 months. His argument was that we were married. My argument was that I was married (and cheated on) before him. Plus this is my insurance that I'm in a stable relationship. Should he ever be unfaithful (I doubt he would) at least he'll know that I'm checking myself so maybe he'll use a condom if he were to ever cheat.Sex question. please dont read if offended by sex.?
Ok you shouldn't be embarrased to ask this. It's really not that big of a deal. Anyway, the first thing to remember when being on top is to use your hips!! Grind in a circular motion, and move as if you're riding on top of a horse, up and down. Switch up your speed and have fun! Lean towards him while you're on top for more clitoral stimulation.
ok. nobody better report me either, lol but sometimes ur jst going to have to take the pain in your thigh muscles, but consider it as an excersice, becuase it sort of is, and you will be sore the next day. when you do get tired, just push your upper body front and back. if u can, go backwards while on him, bcuz they like that aswel. hopefully when u start slowing down he wil ';help you.'; like hold your waist and lift u up and down on him. and if not, most guys also like doggy style. i hope this helps(:
Over 20:) please leave your advice on this. Going through a hard time right now:(?
should i try to see him more or actually let him figure things out and continue to give him complete space
im just scared its going to be ';out of sight, out of mind kinda thing :(';
here is the story.
My bf turned 22 and i guess had a reality check. We were dating for 2 years and he was telling me how he feels old etc.
then BOOM..we broke up but it was bitter sweet.
He tells me how much he loves me and how hard it is and how amazing i am and how much he wishes he was 25 so he could marry me right now etc.
but his mind is made up aboutthe breakup and even though i tried talking about it he gets mad. so i have to leave it
should i just leave him and give himhis space and let him figure things out?
Its so tough. I saw him 2 weeks ago (we broke up on feb 1st) and he cant stop hugging me and treating me like his gf again when we see each other...open my door, kiss my hands, my nose etc.
We are also both in ourr 4th year of university as well
Honestly, the relationship was so mature and great. Even he admitted that when he was talking about it..sad ofcourse.
We hvant talked since Valentines day and its hard because we talked everyday for a 2 years.But that was his choice. I alwtas told him no pressure if he doenst have the time to text or call but for 2 years he always texted me ';goodnight love';.. I know he still loves me and still cares. The last 2 times i saw him he couldnt let go of me and couldnt stop telling me that yet didnt want to talk about why he wants this.
ok, so its been a month and he saw my a university the other day and i waved to him...he came up to me and hugged me for the longest time and kissed my forehead. I was confused!! he sent me a msg later that night saying ti was good to see me and that he enjoyed the hug he also said that if we had started dating when we were 24/25 i would have been the one. %26amp; that right now he needs to figure himself out first.
i replied and i agreed with him that he needs to figure things out
and that 24/25 thing doesnt matter as you cannot time things like that.
I wished him luck in his studies and everything
do you think i handled it well?!?!?!
ok its been about a month and half since the break up. I saw him on the bus at university on friday and said hi to him he grabbed me adn hugged me adn kissed my forehead. When we were tlaking he kept saying how excited he is his car is running and kept asking me what im doing this weekend. He was making fun of me sometimes too %26amp; hugged me. You know the usual stuff when we were dating. He seemed really happy to see me though, Then as he was getting off the bus he said that if him and his friend go out this weekend that i shoul come out with them. I dont think they ended up going out but im really confused as to waht he wants. Clearly he still misses me but isnt really doing anything :S But, its a good feeling to know he's still so nice you know. Im just kinda torn between fully focusing on moving on or giving it time. Moving on would be awkward though since the whole relationship up until that point was filled wiht fun and laughter :)Over 20:) please leave your advice on this. Going through a hard time right now:(?
Here's some helpful links:
When he asks for space (aka, ';a break';) - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/m鈥?/a>
How to Get Over Your Breakup - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/m鈥?/a>
Relationship Grieving Process - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/m鈥?/a>
Zen of Doing Nothing - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/m鈥?/a>
Here's some reading material to consider:
Are You the One for Me? by Barbara DeAngelis
Keys to the Kingdom, Alison Armstrong
Making Sense of Men, Alison Armstrong
im just scared its going to be ';out of sight, out of mind kinda thing :(';
here is the story.
My bf turned 22 and i guess had a reality check. We were dating for 2 years and he was telling me how he feels old etc.
then BOOM..we broke up but it was bitter sweet.
He tells me how much he loves me and how hard it is and how amazing i am and how much he wishes he was 25 so he could marry me right now etc.
but his mind is made up aboutthe breakup and even though i tried talking about it he gets mad. so i have to leave it
should i just leave him and give himhis space and let him figure things out?
Its so tough. I saw him 2 weeks ago (we broke up on feb 1st) and he cant stop hugging me and treating me like his gf again when we see each other...open my door, kiss my hands, my nose etc.
We are also both in ourr 4th year of university as well
Honestly, the relationship was so mature and great. Even he admitted that when he was talking about it..sad ofcourse.
We hvant talked since Valentines day and its hard because we talked everyday for a 2 years.But that was his choice. I alwtas told him no pressure if he doenst have the time to text or call but for 2 years he always texted me ';goodnight love';.. I know he still loves me and still cares. The last 2 times i saw him he couldnt let go of me and couldnt stop telling me that yet didnt want to talk about why he wants this.
ok, so its been a month and he saw my a university the other day and i waved to him...he came up to me and hugged me for the longest time and kissed my forehead. I was confused!! he sent me a msg later that night saying ti was good to see me and that he enjoyed the hug he also said that if we had started dating when we were 24/25 i would have been the one. %26amp; that right now he needs to figure himself out first.
i replied and i agreed with him that he needs to figure things out
and that 24/25 thing doesnt matter as you cannot time things like that.
I wished him luck in his studies and everything
do you think i handled it well?!?!?!
ok its been about a month and half since the break up. I saw him on the bus at university on friday and said hi to him he grabbed me adn hugged me adn kissed my forehead. When we were tlaking he kept saying how excited he is his car is running and kept asking me what im doing this weekend. He was making fun of me sometimes too %26amp; hugged me. You know the usual stuff when we were dating. He seemed really happy to see me though, Then as he was getting off the bus he said that if him and his friend go out this weekend that i shoul come out with them. I dont think they ended up going out but im really confused as to waht he wants. Clearly he still misses me but isnt really doing anything :S But, its a good feeling to know he's still so nice you know. Im just kinda torn between fully focusing on moving on or giving it time. Moving on would be awkward though since the whole relationship up until that point was filled wiht fun and laughter :)Over 20:) please leave your advice on this. Going through a hard time right now:(?
Here's some helpful links:
When he asks for space (aka, ';a break';) - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/m鈥?/a>
How to Get Over Your Breakup - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/m鈥?/a>
Relationship Grieving Process - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/m鈥?/a>
Zen of Doing Nothing - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/m鈥?/a>
Here's some reading material to consider:
Are You the One for Me? by Barbara DeAngelis
Keys to the Kingdom, Alison Armstrong
Making Sense of Men, Alison Armstrong
Please answer:( Over 20.Your advice would be soo great right now people.Sorry, kind of long.?
should i try to see him more or actually let him figure things out and continue to give him complete space
im just scared its going to be ';out of sight, out of mind kinda thing :(';
here is the story.
My bf turned 22 and i guess had a reality check. We were dating for 2 years and he was telling me how he feels old etc.
then BOOM..we broke up but it was bitter sweet.
He tells me how much he loves me and how hard it is and how amazing i am and how much he wishes he was 25 so he could marry me right now etc.
but his mind is made up aboutthe breakup and even though i tried talking about it he gets mad. so i have to leave it
should i just leave him and give himhis space and let him figure things out?
Its so tough. I saw him 2 weeks ago (we broke up on feb 1st) and he cant stop hugging me and treating me like his gf again when we see each other...open my door, kiss my hands, my nose etc.
We are also both in ourr 4th year of university as well
Honestly, the relationship was so mature and great. Even he admitted that when he was talking about it..sad ofcourse.
We hvant talked since Valentines day and its hard because we talked everyday for a 2 years.But that was his choice. I alwtas told him no pressure if he doenst have the time to text or call but for 2 years he always texted me ';goodnight love';.. I know he still loves me and still cares. The last 2 times i saw him he couldnt let go of me and couldnt stop telling me that yet didnt want to talk about why he wants this.
ok, so its been a month and he saw my a university the other day and i waved to him...he came up to me and hugged me for the longest time and kissed my forehead. I was confused!! he sent me a msg later that night saying ti was good to see me and that he enjoyed the hug he also said that if we had started dating when we were 24/25 i would have been the one. %26amp; that right now he needs to figure himself out first.
i replied and i agreed with him that he needs to figure things out
and that 24/25 thing doesnt matter as you cannot time things like that.
I wished him luck in his studies and everything
do you think i handled it well?!?!?!
ok its been about a month and half since the break up. I saw him on the bus at university on friday and said hi to him he grabbed me adn hugged me adn kissed my forehead. When we were tlaking he kept saying how excited he is his car is running and kept asking me what im doing this weekend. He was making fun of me sometimes too %26amp; hugged me. You know the usual stuff when we were dating. He seemed really happy to see me though, Then as he was getting off the bus he said that if him and his friend go out this weekend that i shoul come out with them. I dont think they ended up going out but im really confused as to waht he wants. Clearly he still misses me but isnt really doing anything :S But, its a good feeling to know he's still so nice you know. Im just kinda torn between fully focusing on moving on or giving it time. Moving on would be awkward though since the whole relationship up until that point was filled wiht fun and laughter :)Please answer:( Over 20.Your advice would be soo great right now people.Sorry, kind of long.?
Just follow what he wants.
I think it's for the best to give yourself and him a break!
It's always for the best to take some time off..
And always remember that if he comes back then he's forever yours, but if he doesn't then it was never meant to be!
And believe in it!
Good luck and hope this helps! ^__^Please answer:( Over 20.Your advice would be soo great right now people.Sorry, kind of long.?
You're right. Much too long.
Relationships are going to come and go in your life. Even the ones you stay with are different as time goes along.
Sounds like you handled things well in this case. There's rarely any point in burning bridges.
Move on.
Your situation sounds just like my ex and I. You should most definitely move on. He is being so nice to you because he is probably a nice guy and doesn't want to see someone he loves hurting. He is also probably being friendly and sweet because he is used to your friendship and is having a hard time letting it go; however, it doesn't sound like he's having a hard time letting go of the romantic aspect of your relationship. The whole 24/25 thing is really just an excuse to make himself feel better and to make you feel better about spending two years with him. There is no such excuse if he truly loved you and if he truly wanted to marry you, he would have made it happen, no matter the circumstances. The good news is it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders and I'm sure you will find someone that can give you a friendship and a romantic relationship!
give him time, but dont make the effort to talk to him, see him etc. use the time to concentrate on what you want, how you feel and for your university exams.
usually the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder is very true! if you are always there, he wont have the chance to miss you, and so won't realise if he wants you back properly.
go out with your girlfriends and have fun, but at the end of the day, make it clear to him that he needs to make up his mind and would he like it if you were with another guy, you can't be expected to hold on forever to see if he will want you in years to come.
if you are so serious about each other then whats to stop you getting engaged now? age is just a number, i got engaged at 18 and am extremely happy,
Ok i'm 27 and read the whole story lol.
It sounds to me like he is a little immature, splitting up with you because he isn't old enough?, that is a bit silly i think, i also think he wants to be single but really likes you, so he wants the best of both worlds, this kissing and hugging thing isn't helping either of you, that needs to stop, fair enough a hug is ok but the way you were describing it, seems strange for 'friends'.
It's hard for a man to stay friends with a woman he has been in love with, men are more insecure than you might think.
You have to distance yourself from him and move on, the longer this goes on the harder it's gonna be for you both, so do the hard awkward thing and end it, tell him you don't want to hear from him and that you won't reply to any texts or emails etc, after a while it will get easier and you will feel better.
Good Luck
im just scared its going to be ';out of sight, out of mind kinda thing :(';
here is the story.
My bf turned 22 and i guess had a reality check. We were dating for 2 years and he was telling me how he feels old etc.
then BOOM..we broke up but it was bitter sweet.
He tells me how much he loves me and how hard it is and how amazing i am and how much he wishes he was 25 so he could marry me right now etc.
but his mind is made up aboutthe breakup and even though i tried talking about it he gets mad. so i have to leave it
should i just leave him and give himhis space and let him figure things out?
Its so tough. I saw him 2 weeks ago (we broke up on feb 1st) and he cant stop hugging me and treating me like his gf again when we see each other...open my door, kiss my hands, my nose etc.
We are also both in ourr 4th year of university as well
Honestly, the relationship was so mature and great. Even he admitted that when he was talking about it..sad ofcourse.
We hvant talked since Valentines day and its hard because we talked everyday for a 2 years.But that was his choice. I alwtas told him no pressure if he doenst have the time to text or call but for 2 years he always texted me ';goodnight love';.. I know he still loves me and still cares. The last 2 times i saw him he couldnt let go of me and couldnt stop telling me that yet didnt want to talk about why he wants this.
ok, so its been a month and he saw my a university the other day and i waved to him...he came up to me and hugged me for the longest time and kissed my forehead. I was confused!! he sent me a msg later that night saying ti was good to see me and that he enjoyed the hug he also said that if we had started dating when we were 24/25 i would have been the one. %26amp; that right now he needs to figure himself out first.
i replied and i agreed with him that he needs to figure things out
and that 24/25 thing doesnt matter as you cannot time things like that.
I wished him luck in his studies and everything
do you think i handled it well?!?!?!
ok its been about a month and half since the break up. I saw him on the bus at university on friday and said hi to him he grabbed me adn hugged me adn kissed my forehead. When we were tlaking he kept saying how excited he is his car is running and kept asking me what im doing this weekend. He was making fun of me sometimes too %26amp; hugged me. You know the usual stuff when we were dating. He seemed really happy to see me though, Then as he was getting off the bus he said that if him and his friend go out this weekend that i shoul come out with them. I dont think they ended up going out but im really confused as to waht he wants. Clearly he still misses me but isnt really doing anything :S But, its a good feeling to know he's still so nice you know. Im just kinda torn between fully focusing on moving on or giving it time. Moving on would be awkward though since the whole relationship up until that point was filled wiht fun and laughter :)Please answer:( Over 20.Your advice would be soo great right now people.Sorry, kind of long.?
Just follow what he wants.
I think it's for the best to give yourself and him a break!
It's always for the best to take some time off..
And always remember that if he comes back then he's forever yours, but if he doesn't then it was never meant to be!
And believe in it!
Good luck and hope this helps! ^__^Please answer:( Over 20.Your advice would be soo great right now people.Sorry, kind of long.?
You're right. Much too long.
Relationships are going to come and go in your life. Even the ones you stay with are different as time goes along.
Sounds like you handled things well in this case. There's rarely any point in burning bridges.
Move on.
Your situation sounds just like my ex and I. You should most definitely move on. He is being so nice to you because he is probably a nice guy and doesn't want to see someone he loves hurting. He is also probably being friendly and sweet because he is used to your friendship and is having a hard time letting it go; however, it doesn't sound like he's having a hard time letting go of the romantic aspect of your relationship. The whole 24/25 thing is really just an excuse to make himself feel better and to make you feel better about spending two years with him. There is no such excuse if he truly loved you and if he truly wanted to marry you, he would have made it happen, no matter the circumstances. The good news is it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders and I'm sure you will find someone that can give you a friendship and a romantic relationship!
give him time, but dont make the effort to talk to him, see him etc. use the time to concentrate on what you want, how you feel and for your university exams.
usually the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder is very true! if you are always there, he wont have the chance to miss you, and so won't realise if he wants you back properly.
go out with your girlfriends and have fun, but at the end of the day, make it clear to him that he needs to make up his mind and would he like it if you were with another guy, you can't be expected to hold on forever to see if he will want you in years to come.
if you are so serious about each other then whats to stop you getting engaged now? age is just a number, i got engaged at 18 and am extremely happy,
Ok i'm 27 and read the whole story lol.
It sounds to me like he is a little immature, splitting up with you because he isn't old enough?, that is a bit silly i think, i also think he wants to be single but really likes you, so he wants the best of both worlds, this kissing and hugging thing isn't helping either of you, that needs to stop, fair enough a hug is ok but the way you were describing it, seems strange for 'friends'.
It's hard for a man to stay friends with a woman he has been in love with, men are more insecure than you might think.
You have to distance yourself from him and move on, the longer this goes on the harder it's gonna be for you both, so do the hard awkward thing and end it, tell him you don't want to hear from him and that you won't reply to any texts or emails etc, after a while it will get easier and you will feel better.
Good Luck
What Can I Do (Mind Games Or Is She Truly Scared)?
Alright so heres the story. In 06 I dated this girl named Mel. We dated for a month but were really close. When we would kiss it was like eletric bolts. We could be in a crowded room but the minute one of us would walk in we knew instantly the other person was there. She pushed me away and said... ';I have alot of problems going on in my life and so it wouldn't be fair to you, for me to bring you in it';
She said she just needed time but then she kept coming up with differn't excuses until she said I don't know why I pushed you away, even after giving her time. I gave up and moved on with my life. So 9 months later I decided to go to this bar. Oddly enough she sees me in the bar. I tried to ignore her but she walked up to me and said hello so I said hi back. I got uncomfortable and went out to the smoking deck. She then followed me out. At first she kind of just stared at me like she couldnt keep her eyes off of me. Like she had to come up with things to say just for a excuse to talk to me.
I went back into the bar. I was playing a game and then she sneaked behind me and tickles me. After that she wanted to dance and was trying to be up all over me. I then went back out to the smoking deck and she followed me again. She offered me a cigg and asked me pointless questions. This kind of stuff went on for 2 months at the bar. She would randomly play certain songs on the juke box, look at me then walk out. Invited me to her shows. So one day I called and asked her if she wanted to be friends, she apazzed out and said No, we'll never be friends I was just being nice to you. To me that was a little more than being nice.
Another 7 months went by and I ran into her at the mall. We happend to know a mutual friend I was hanging out with. She said just stay the F*** out of my life and I will stay out of yours. Then slowly she turned around and said, if you want to talk I'll be back. She came back and we decided to work on a friendship. We were friends for a good year.
As of Aug of this year she kept talking to me more and more each day. She would always avoid wanting to see me though, I'm not sure if it was because it hurt her to see me because she still had feelings or that she didnt want to get attached. One day she said she was going to get her hair cut, funny thing was is that I was already there, when she saw me she had a huge smile on her face but hid it. I didn't understand why she would avoid to see me, but yet always be happy when she did.
Her girlfriend is abusive and controlling. She would get up every night at 2:30 in the morning to talk to me while her g/f went to work. She dedicated me a song, a poem. She talked to me as if we were dating again. She would say things like oh **** my g/f is coming, give me a kiss and sign off. She would say things like I still wonder what it would be like with you.
After awhile of this I had enough, we only live 15 mins away from each other, yet we never hang out. I understand people have lives but why avoid seeing me? wouldnt it be easier to get over your feelings for someone if you hung out with them more often? I confronted her about this and said its not fair trying to be your friend yet you flirt with me, yet never wanna see me, yet you reach out to me.
After that she became more and more distand and said maybe its better we both stop talking to each other. After that she said I can't trust you. I neve gave her a reason not to trust me, and I never lied to her. I tried asking her what did I lie to you about and how did I lie to you? She told me I dont have to answer you. It seems to me maybe she got scared. She said It will be easier for the both of us, yet she couldnt explain that either. I waited a week to try and speak with her again. This time she got her girlfriend to call me and she started to B*** me out, I dont think it was right for her to bring her g/f into thesituation, when she had no idea about what was going .. that she told a bunch of lies to people, saying that i was psychotic. Now half my friends hate me, she has no proof, yet I have screen shots of all the stuff she was saying to me. How is it right for someone to cheat on thier partner, play mind games, then put all the blame on me when I was just trying to care and wanted the crap to stop.
Since she assumed I was a backstabber, I thought well if shes gonna treat me like crap for no reason, then I mitice well be a backstabber, atleast then she would have a legit reason to dislike me. I tried clearing my name, showing proof but i seems its not good enough.
I really loved this women, I lost alot of friends because of her, she tried to make my life a living He**. She always worried Ill hook up with someone who treats me like dirt, yet it seems to be no problem when she does it.
She always believes what other people say, even if I dont know them, nor associate. She was playing with my heart and head, was it cause she was scared? who knows but there cant be a excuse for this? DWhat Can I Do (Mind Games Or Is She Truly Scared)?
i didn't even read this but.....goood luck!
She said she just needed time but then she kept coming up with differn't excuses until she said I don't know why I pushed you away, even after giving her time. I gave up and moved on with my life. So 9 months later I decided to go to this bar. Oddly enough she sees me in the bar. I tried to ignore her but she walked up to me and said hello so I said hi back. I got uncomfortable and went out to the smoking deck. She then followed me out. At first she kind of just stared at me like she couldnt keep her eyes off of me. Like she had to come up with things to say just for a excuse to talk to me.
I went back into the bar. I was playing a game and then she sneaked behind me and tickles me. After that she wanted to dance and was trying to be up all over me. I then went back out to the smoking deck and she followed me again. She offered me a cigg and asked me pointless questions. This kind of stuff went on for 2 months at the bar. She would randomly play certain songs on the juke box, look at me then walk out. Invited me to her shows. So one day I called and asked her if she wanted to be friends, she apazzed out and said No, we'll never be friends I was just being nice to you. To me that was a little more than being nice.
Another 7 months went by and I ran into her at the mall. We happend to know a mutual friend I was hanging out with. She said just stay the F*** out of my life and I will stay out of yours. Then slowly she turned around and said, if you want to talk I'll be back. She came back and we decided to work on a friendship. We were friends for a good year.
As of Aug of this year she kept talking to me more and more each day. She would always avoid wanting to see me though, I'm not sure if it was because it hurt her to see me because she still had feelings or that she didnt want to get attached. One day she said she was going to get her hair cut, funny thing was is that I was already there, when she saw me she had a huge smile on her face but hid it. I didn't understand why she would avoid to see me, but yet always be happy when she did.
Her girlfriend is abusive and controlling. She would get up every night at 2:30 in the morning to talk to me while her g/f went to work. She dedicated me a song, a poem. She talked to me as if we were dating again. She would say things like oh **** my g/f is coming, give me a kiss and sign off. She would say things like I still wonder what it would be like with you.
After awhile of this I had enough, we only live 15 mins away from each other, yet we never hang out. I understand people have lives but why avoid seeing me? wouldnt it be easier to get over your feelings for someone if you hung out with them more often? I confronted her about this and said its not fair trying to be your friend yet you flirt with me, yet never wanna see me, yet you reach out to me.
After that she became more and more distand and said maybe its better we both stop talking to each other. After that she said I can't trust you. I neve gave her a reason not to trust me, and I never lied to her. I tried asking her what did I lie to you about and how did I lie to you? She told me I dont have to answer you. It seems to me maybe she got scared. She said It will be easier for the both of us, yet she couldnt explain that either. I waited a week to try and speak with her again. This time she got her girlfriend to call me and she started to B*** me out, I dont think it was right for her to bring her g/f into thesituation, when she had no idea about what was going .. that she told a bunch of lies to people, saying that i was psychotic. Now half my friends hate me, she has no proof, yet I have screen shots of all the stuff she was saying to me. How is it right for someone to cheat on thier partner, play mind games, then put all the blame on me when I was just trying to care and wanted the crap to stop.
Since she assumed I was a backstabber, I thought well if shes gonna treat me like crap for no reason, then I mitice well be a backstabber, atleast then she would have a legit reason to dislike me. I tried clearing my name, showing proof but i seems its not good enough.
I really loved this women, I lost alot of friends because of her, she tried to make my life a living He**. She always worried Ill hook up with someone who treats me like dirt, yet it seems to be no problem when she does it.
She always believes what other people say, even if I dont know them, nor associate. She was playing with my heart and head, was it cause she was scared? who knows but there cant be a excuse for this? DWhat Can I Do (Mind Games Or Is She Truly Scared)?
i didn't even read this but.....goood luck!
Over 20 please:) Your mature advice would be so great. This is kind of long, sorry:)?
should i try to see him more or actually let him figure things out and continue to give him complete space
im just scared its going to be ';out of sight, out of mind kinda thing :(';
here is the story.
My bf turned 22 and i guess had a reality check. We were dating for 2 years and he was telling me how he feels old etc.
then BOOM..we broke up but it was bitter sweet.
He tells me how much he loves me and how hard it is and how amazing i am and how much he wishes he was 25 so he could marry me right now etc.
but his mind is made up aboutthe breakup and even though i tried talking about it he gets mad. so i have to leave it
should i just leave him and give himhis space and let him figure things out?
Its so tough. I saw him 2 weeks ago (we broke up on feb 1st) and he cant stop hugging me and treating me like his gf again when we see each other...open my door, kiss my hands, my nose etc.
We are also both in ourr 4th year of university as well
Honestly, the relationship was so mature and great. Even he admitted that when he was talking about it..sad ofcourse.
We hvant talked since Valentines day and its hard because we talked everyday for a 2 years.But that was his choice. I alwtas told him no pressure if he doenst have the time to text or call but for 2 years he always texted me ';goodnight love';.. I know he still loves me and still cares. The last 2 times i saw him he couldnt let go of me and couldnt stop telling me that yet didnt want to talk about why he wants this.
ok, so its been a month and he saw my a university the other day and i waved to him...he came up to me and hugged me for the longest time and kissed my forehead. I was confused!! he sent me a msg later that night saying ti was good to see me and that he enjoyed the hug he also said that if we had started dating when we were 24/25 i would have been the one. %26amp; that right now he needs to figure himself out first.
i replied and i agreed with him that he needs to figure things out
and that 24/25 thing doesnt matter as you cannot time things like that.
I wished him luck in his studies and everything
do you think i handled it well?!?!?!
ok its been about a month and half since the break up. I saw him on the bus at university on friday and said hi to him he grabbed me adn hugged me adn kissed my forehead. When we were tlaking he kept saying how excited he is his car is running and kept asking me what im doing this weekend. He was making fun of me sometimes too %26amp; hugged me. You know the usual stuff when we were dating. He seemed really happy to see me though, Then as he was getting off the bus he said that if him and his friend go out this weekend that i shoul come out with them. I dont think they ended up going out but im really confused as to waht he wants. Clearly he still misses me but isnt really doing anything :S But, its a good feeling to know he's still so nice you know. Im just kinda torn between fully focusing on moving on or giving it time. Moving on would be awkward though since the whole relationship up until that point was filled wiht fun and laughter :)Over 20 please:) Your mature advice would be so great. This is kind of long, sorry:)?
Wow. I really don't envy your position right now. He's not being fair to your feelings right now at all. It's worse because he acts like you're still together each time you two randomly bump into each other. And it's not a good sign if he's not willing to talk to you about why he made the choice to break up. And the whole thing about wishing that he had met you when he was 24/25 is not a good enough reason. What is it that he needs to work through?
As hard as it may be, the next time you see him and he tries to hug you, make it quick and pull away. Just say 'I know that you don't want to talk about everything that's happened, but I can't pretend like everything is normal every time we run into each other. It hurts, because on one hand you don't want to be with me, but on the other you act like we're still together every time we run into each other. It's confusing. I don't want to lose you, but if you're really serious about being away from me while figuring out your life, this[kissing/cuddling/etc.] has to stop for now. Because I just can't take the uncertainty.'
I would stop the intimate hugs and the like, because it's hurting you. Let him go for now, because you don't deserve to be the 'back burner'options available to get rid viruses
im just scared its going to be ';out of sight, out of mind kinda thing :(';
here is the story.
My bf turned 22 and i guess had a reality check. We were dating for 2 years and he was telling me how he feels old etc.
then BOOM..we broke up but it was bitter sweet.
He tells me how much he loves me and how hard it is and how amazing i am and how much he wishes he was 25 so he could marry me right now etc.
but his mind is made up aboutthe breakup and even though i tried talking about it he gets mad. so i have to leave it
should i just leave him and give himhis space and let him figure things out?
Its so tough. I saw him 2 weeks ago (we broke up on feb 1st) and he cant stop hugging me and treating me like his gf again when we see each other...open my door, kiss my hands, my nose etc.
We are also both in ourr 4th year of university as well
Honestly, the relationship was so mature and great. Even he admitted that when he was talking about it..sad ofcourse.
We hvant talked since Valentines day and its hard because we talked everyday for a 2 years.But that was his choice. I alwtas told him no pressure if he doenst have the time to text or call but for 2 years he always texted me ';goodnight love';.. I know he still loves me and still cares. The last 2 times i saw him he couldnt let go of me and couldnt stop telling me that yet didnt want to talk about why he wants this.
ok, so its been a month and he saw my a university the other day and i waved to him...he came up to me and hugged me for the longest time and kissed my forehead. I was confused!! he sent me a msg later that night saying ti was good to see me and that he enjoyed the hug he also said that if we had started dating when we were 24/25 i would have been the one. %26amp; that right now he needs to figure himself out first.
i replied and i agreed with him that he needs to figure things out
and that 24/25 thing doesnt matter as you cannot time things like that.
I wished him luck in his studies and everything
do you think i handled it well?!?!?!
ok its been about a month and half since the break up. I saw him on the bus at university on friday and said hi to him he grabbed me adn hugged me adn kissed my forehead. When we were tlaking he kept saying how excited he is his car is running and kept asking me what im doing this weekend. He was making fun of me sometimes too %26amp; hugged me. You know the usual stuff when we were dating. He seemed really happy to see me though, Then as he was getting off the bus he said that if him and his friend go out this weekend that i shoul come out with them. I dont think they ended up going out but im really confused as to waht he wants. Clearly he still misses me but isnt really doing anything :S But, its a good feeling to know he's still so nice you know. Im just kinda torn between fully focusing on moving on or giving it time. Moving on would be awkward though since the whole relationship up until that point was filled wiht fun and laughter :)Over 20 please:) Your mature advice would be so great. This is kind of long, sorry:)?
Wow. I really don't envy your position right now. He's not being fair to your feelings right now at all. It's worse because he acts like you're still together each time you two randomly bump into each other. And it's not a good sign if he's not willing to talk to you about why he made the choice to break up. And the whole thing about wishing that he had met you when he was 24/25 is not a good enough reason. What is it that he needs to work through?
As hard as it may be, the next time you see him and he tries to hug you, make it quick and pull away. Just say 'I know that you don't want to talk about everything that's happened, but I can't pretend like everything is normal every time we run into each other. It hurts, because on one hand you don't want to be with me, but on the other you act like we're still together every time we run into each other. It's confusing. I don't want to lose you, but if you're really serious about being away from me while figuring out your life, this[kissing/cuddling/etc.] has to stop for now. Because I just can't take the uncertainty.'
I would stop the intimate hugs and the like, because it's hurting you. Let him go for now, because you don't deserve to be the 'back burner'
Is this mean to do to your boyfriend if he lied to you?
Okay, I don't have a problem per say about my boyfriend watching porn, I'm only pissed about it because he hasn't really been going out of his way to please me sexually unlike I do for him. So why does he get a 4 course meal and I get an appetizer? I'm sorry but **** that I'm the kinda girl that likes to get down unfortunately for him I guess so to me it's kind of a big deal.
I asked him not to watch porn here(he moved in with me recently) I am uncomfortable with that little boy stuff going on in my space that I now generously share with him.I don't mind if he masturbates but if he could take time to take care of me it would be less on a problem. He said he wouldn't. Guess what I found on the PC this morning. So I decided to change his homepage to the site he visits, to prove that he lied to me and so that way it is there for his convenience.
I don't think it's that mean but I really hope it gets my point across. just wanted to know if anyone thought this was as hilarious as I do. yeah he might be embaressed and angry but he needs to think about how I'm feeling and to understand that he can enjoy a little anger.Is this mean to do to your boyfriend if he lied to you?
haha thats not mean, it might not be taken very well by him but so what! He shouldnt have lied!
On another note, if youre still feeling unsatisfied, have you tried asking him to watch it with him? if thats what it takes to get him going, you might benefit too!Is this mean to do to your boyfriend if he lied to you?
It's not that mean, he should've listened to you... you are his gf anyways
That's not mean at all, i can think of worse things to do to him that would be more appropriate.
I asked him not to watch porn here(he moved in with me recently) I am uncomfortable with that little boy stuff going on in my space that I now generously share with him.I don't mind if he masturbates but if he could take time to take care of me it would be less on a problem. He said he wouldn't. Guess what I found on the PC this morning. So I decided to change his homepage to the site he visits, to prove that he lied to me and so that way it is there for his convenience.
I don't think it's that mean but I really hope it gets my point across. just wanted to know if anyone thought this was as hilarious as I do. yeah he might be embaressed and angry but he needs to think about how I'm feeling and to understand that he can enjoy a little anger.Is this mean to do to your boyfriend if he lied to you?
haha thats not mean, it might not be taken very well by him but so what! He shouldnt have lied!
On another note, if youre still feeling unsatisfied, have you tried asking him to watch it with him? if thats what it takes to get him going, you might benefit too!Is this mean to do to your boyfriend if he lied to you?
It's not that mean, he should've listened to you... you are his gf anyways
That's not mean at all, i can think of worse things to do to him that would be more appropriate.
Mother In-Law help before I loose my mind.?
I Have always gotten along with my husbands mom. She has always been a nice lady and easy to get along with. Until now.
about 15 months ago she was very ill and moved in with us. My goal was to get her better and then she get her own place. Now she has decided that she is not ever moving out and that we invited her to live with us forever.
My husband wont tell her different because he does not want to hurt her feelings and I don't either. I mean how will I look to everyone if I kick her out?
Here is the thing she is taking over my life and my family and I am sick of it. I feel like a stranger in my own home. I try to teach my 17 yr old son responsibilities like if you don't bring your clothes to the laundry room they don't get washed. she will go in his room get them wash them and lay them out for him. I have asked her not to do this several times. If i ask my husband to help or to do something she will get up and go do it for him. She buys the grocery's for living here (Not agreed on at all) and she buys stuff we never eat and then she decides what I am going to cook for dinner.
Today she had bleach in a cup and spilled it all the way through the living room. and made spots on my hardwood floor. when i went to get a mop and stuff to try to fix it she poured vinegar on it. to clean it. she has also been known to put fantastic and other things on my floor to clean it.
she leaves stuff lay out all the time. she washes clothes and dishes all the time even if we don't have a load. our water bill has doubled due to this. and now when we go out to eat she always goes with us then makes us pick up the tab for her.
Every time I complain to my husband about this he says I am putting him in the middle. and asks me what he should do just kick her out? I really want to say yes. but if that were to happen then everyone I know would think the worst of me plus that would be the end of our family relationship because she is going to be very hurt and mad. any ideas?? please help if you can.Mother In-Law help before I loose my mind.?
When other people come to live with us, we really need to set limits and boundaries right off the bat. This would include things like cleaning, cooking, etc.
If i were in your position, the first thing i'd do is ask her if she wouldn't mind talking for a few minutes. I'd let her know that i understand she's a very helpful person and she wants to make a contribution to the family. I'd probably tell her that while it's great to baby a grandson, my son really needs to learn to take responsibility for some things at home, and he's not learning how when he isn't taking care of his own chores. Maybe tell her it would be more helpful to him to watch a movie with him or play cards together, than to ';wait on'; him.
About cleaning -- think of a few things she can do to help, without using cleaning products that stain. Perhaps you could tell her you'd rather do most of the cleaning, but if she wants to vacuum and dust, that would be helpful. You could think of other things like keeping the bathroom sink clean, and simply clean up after herself, and that you'd rather do the rest. And i'd also ask her to do her own laundry, and you will do your own.
If the groceries are a problem, let her know you would rather do the shopping, and if she wants some thing specific, she can certainly get it for herself. You can tell her you really appreciate her contributions, but too much food seems to be going to waste.
I was also wondering if you could encourage her to get involved with people her own age.... maybe find a hobby to occupy her time -- reading, making beaded jewelry, cards, a craft class or even some sort of artwork.
She doesn't have to go out to eat with you all the time, either. You and your family/husband deserve time alone together. So, next time you're going out to eat, let her know you and your husband are going out and you'll see her later. This is what i'd do.
I might also ask her if she's been looking into moving, and what she's considering. See what she says.
Hon, i never cared what everyone thinks of me, and i do believe you could develop some boundaries with your mother in law -- you can encourage her to move, let her know that you want to take care of your own home, enforce rules for your child without interference, etc.
It's your home, and you have the right to run it the way you see fit.Mother In-Law help before I loose my mind.?
ok....something has GOT to be done, or it WILL get in the way of your marriage. I think you need to sit your husband down, and explain that you come first, and although you love your MIL very much, your marriage will go down the pan if she stays.
One compromise could be to try and ask her to buy a place really near you guys, so that she can come and go as she wants (!) but you still have that border between you guys. I dont think you should be the one who says it to her though, its going to have to be your hubby! Good luck xxxx
I would hate be in your shoes right now. I feel for you and feel that your doomed if you do and doomed if you don't. You have tried talking to your husband numerous times and this has gone no where. Sounds like she has not too many friends and she was alone and maybe did not feel needed.
Now she has a purpose to help your family and to try to help with house hold chores.
I really feel sorry for you not even sure what to tell you to do. I would try to get her out of the house more like joining seniors groups and maybe try to set her up on dates. I would even go as far as having the dates come for supper. I know sounds crazy but what else can you do at this point.
I would find some dating site and look for nice respectful dates for her. If your husband asks this is a long time friend of the family. Your husband is not going to do anything so its up to you now. The best thing is to be honest with your husband and tell him how it is making you feel. Your husband needs to step up to the plate and find a way what is the best for his mom. All the best and let me know how it turns out.
OMG we had this when I was a kid and my grandfather moved in. It is really hard. It really sounds like she is trying to help and maybe going overboard. Are there any retirement communities around you? This is where they have their own apartments and everything, but they get medical help and socialize and have outings the their peers. She might be happier. I know my grandfather was. they would go on trips, have parties, he loved to go to a big wood working shop they had set up. He had his own place and had his privacy . He thanked us. It was hard for him to be in a house with two little kids. He felt like a visitor. If I remember right, they took his social security and we would send him money each month for his entertainment and trips. It sounds expensive, but maybe take the money you save from the water bill and your future psychiatric bills.
Tell your husband to ';man up';. That is his Mother, he needs to deal with it. You and he set boundaries, and you get him to talk to his Mother, and let her know these boundaries.
I think she Truly trying to be helpful in her on way...and she obviously loves her grandson, and wants to spoil him a bit.
In saying all this, I do think she would be happier, in a senior center. She sounds healthy now. She could mingle with people her age, do crafts, go on day trips, play games, gossip with the old ladies. My Mom LOVED the senior center, she never wanted to live with her children. But she would spend holidays with us, go on trips with us, but she always wanted to get ';back home'; as she said.
about 15 months ago she was very ill and moved in with us. My goal was to get her better and then she get her own place. Now she has decided that she is not ever moving out and that we invited her to live with us forever.
My husband wont tell her different because he does not want to hurt her feelings and I don't either. I mean how will I look to everyone if I kick her out?
Here is the thing she is taking over my life and my family and I am sick of it. I feel like a stranger in my own home. I try to teach my 17 yr old son responsibilities like if you don't bring your clothes to the laundry room they don't get washed. she will go in his room get them wash them and lay them out for him. I have asked her not to do this several times. If i ask my husband to help or to do something she will get up and go do it for him. She buys the grocery's for living here (Not agreed on at all) and she buys stuff we never eat and then she decides what I am going to cook for dinner.
Today she had bleach in a cup and spilled it all the way through the living room. and made spots on my hardwood floor. when i went to get a mop and stuff to try to fix it she poured vinegar on it. to clean it. she has also been known to put fantastic and other things on my floor to clean it.
she leaves stuff lay out all the time. she washes clothes and dishes all the time even if we don't have a load. our water bill has doubled due to this. and now when we go out to eat she always goes with us then makes us pick up the tab for her.
Every time I complain to my husband about this he says I am putting him in the middle. and asks me what he should do just kick her out? I really want to say yes. but if that were to happen then everyone I know would think the worst of me plus that would be the end of our family relationship because she is going to be very hurt and mad. any ideas?? please help if you can.Mother In-Law help before I loose my mind.?
When other people come to live with us, we really need to set limits and boundaries right off the bat. This would include things like cleaning, cooking, etc.
If i were in your position, the first thing i'd do is ask her if she wouldn't mind talking for a few minutes. I'd let her know that i understand she's a very helpful person and she wants to make a contribution to the family. I'd probably tell her that while it's great to baby a grandson, my son really needs to learn to take responsibility for some things at home, and he's not learning how when he isn't taking care of his own chores. Maybe tell her it would be more helpful to him to watch a movie with him or play cards together, than to ';wait on'; him.
About cleaning -- think of a few things she can do to help, without using cleaning products that stain. Perhaps you could tell her you'd rather do most of the cleaning, but if she wants to vacuum and dust, that would be helpful. You could think of other things like keeping the bathroom sink clean, and simply clean up after herself, and that you'd rather do the rest. And i'd also ask her to do her own laundry, and you will do your own.
If the groceries are a problem, let her know you would rather do the shopping, and if she wants some thing specific, she can certainly get it for herself. You can tell her you really appreciate her contributions, but too much food seems to be going to waste.
I was also wondering if you could encourage her to get involved with people her own age.... maybe find a hobby to occupy her time -- reading, making beaded jewelry, cards, a craft class or even some sort of artwork.
She doesn't have to go out to eat with you all the time, either. You and your family/husband deserve time alone together. So, next time you're going out to eat, let her know you and your husband are going out and you'll see her later. This is what i'd do.
I might also ask her if she's been looking into moving, and what she's considering. See what she says.
Hon, i never cared what everyone thinks of me, and i do believe you could develop some boundaries with your mother in law -- you can encourage her to move, let her know that you want to take care of your own home, enforce rules for your child without interference, etc.
It's your home, and you have the right to run it the way you see fit.Mother In-Law help before I loose my mind.?
ok....something has GOT to be done, or it WILL get in the way of your marriage. I think you need to sit your husband down, and explain that you come first, and although you love your MIL very much, your marriage will go down the pan if she stays.
One compromise could be to try and ask her to buy a place really near you guys, so that she can come and go as she wants (!) but you still have that border between you guys. I dont think you should be the one who says it to her though, its going to have to be your hubby! Good luck xxxx
I would hate be in your shoes right now. I feel for you and feel that your doomed if you do and doomed if you don't. You have tried talking to your husband numerous times and this has gone no where. Sounds like she has not too many friends and she was alone and maybe did not feel needed.
Now she has a purpose to help your family and to try to help with house hold chores.
I really feel sorry for you not even sure what to tell you to do. I would try to get her out of the house more like joining seniors groups and maybe try to set her up on dates. I would even go as far as having the dates come for supper. I know sounds crazy but what else can you do at this point.
I would find some dating site and look for nice respectful dates for her. If your husband asks this is a long time friend of the family. Your husband is not going to do anything so its up to you now. The best thing is to be honest with your husband and tell him how it is making you feel. Your husband needs to step up to the plate and find a way what is the best for his mom. All the best and let me know how it turns out.
OMG we had this when I was a kid and my grandfather moved in. It is really hard. It really sounds like she is trying to help and maybe going overboard. Are there any retirement communities around you? This is where they have their own apartments and everything, but they get medical help and socialize and have outings the their peers. She might be happier. I know my grandfather was. they would go on trips, have parties, he loved to go to a big wood working shop they had set up. He had his own place and had his privacy . He thanked us. It was hard for him to be in a house with two little kids. He felt like a visitor. If I remember right, they took his social security and we would send him money each month for his entertainment and trips. It sounds expensive, but maybe take the money you save from the water bill and your future psychiatric bills.
Tell your husband to ';man up';. That is his Mother, he needs to deal with it. You and he set boundaries, and you get him to talk to his Mother, and let her know these boundaries.
I think she Truly trying to be helpful in her on way...and she obviously loves her grandson, and wants to spoil him a bit.
In saying all this, I do think she would be happier, in a senior center. She sounds healthy now. She could mingle with people her age, do crafts, go on day trips, play games, gossip with the old ladies. My Mom LOVED the senior center, she never wanted to live with her children. But she would spend holidays with us, go on trips with us, but she always wanted to get ';back home'; as she said.
Mind Games Or Confusion?
Alright so heres the story. In 06 I dated this girl named Mel. We dated for a month but were really close. When we would kiss it was like eletric bolts. We could be in a crowded room but the minute one of us would walk in we knew instantly the other person was there. She pushed me away and said... ';I have alot of problems going on in my life and so it wouldn't be fair to you, for me to bring you in it';
She said she just needed time but then she kept coming up with differn't excuses until she said I don't know why I pushed you away, even after giving her time. I gave up and moved on with my life. So 9 months later I decided to go to this bar. Oddly enough she sees me in the bar. I tried to ignore her but she walked up to me and said hello so I said hi back. I got uncomfortable and went out to the smoking deck. She then followed me out. At first she kind of just stared at me like she couldnt keep her eyes off of me. Like she had to come up with things to say just for a excuse to talk to me.
I went back into the bar. I was playing a game and then she sneaked behind me and tickles me. After that she wanted to dance and was trying to be up all over me. I then went back out to the smoking deck and she followed me again. She offered me a cigg and asked me pointless questions. This kind of stuff went on for 2 months at the bar. She would randomly play certain songs on the juke box, look at me then walk out. Invited me to her shows. So one day I called and asked her if she wanted to be friends, she apazzed out and said No, we'll never be friends I was just being nice to you. To me that was a little more than being nice.
Another 7 months went by and I ran into her at the mall. We happend to know a mutual friend I was hanging out with. She said just stay the F*** out of my life and I will stay out of yours. Then slowly she turned around and said, if you want to talk I'll be back. She came back and we decided to work on a friendship. We were friends for a good year.
As of Aug of this year she kept talking to me more and more each day. She would always avoid wanting to see me though, I'm not sure if it was because it hurt her to see me because she still had feelings or that she didnt want to get attached. One day she said she was going to get her hair cut, funny thing was is that I was already there, when she saw me she had a huge smile on her face but hid it. I didn't understand why she would avoid to see me, but yet always be happy when she did.
Her girlfriend is abusive and controlling. She would get up every night at 2:30 in the morning to talk to me while her g/f went to work. She dedicated me a song, a poem. She talked to me as if we were dating again. She would say things like oh **** my g/f is coming, give me a kiss and sign off. She would say things like I still wonder what it would be like with you.
After awhile of this I had enough, we only live 15 mins away from each other, yet we never hang out. I understand people have lives but why avoid seeing me? wouldnt it be easier to get over your feelings for someone if you hung out with them more often? I confronted her about this and said its not fair trying to be your friend yet you flirt with me, yet never wanna see me, yet you reach out to me.
After that she became more and more distand and said maybe its better we both stop talking to each other. After that she said I can't trust you. I neve gave her a reason not to trust me, and I never lied to her. I tried asking her what did I lie to you about and how did I lie to you? She told me I dont have to answer you. It seems to me maybe she got scared. She said It will be easier for the both of us, yet she couldnt explain that either. I waited a week to try and speak with her again. This time she got her girlfriend to call me and she started to B*** me out, I dont think it was right for her to bring her g/f into thesituation, when she had no idea about what was going on. After that she told a bunch of lies to people, saying that i was psychotic. Now half my friends hate me, she has no proof, yet I have screen shots of all the stuff she was saying to me. How is it right for someone to cheat on thier partner, play mind games, then put all the blame on me when I was just trying to care and wanted the crap to stop.
Since she assumed I was a backstabber, I thought well if shes gonna treat me like crap for no reason, then I mitice well be a backstabber, atleast then she would have a legit reason to dislike me. I tried clearing my name, showing proof but i seems its not good enough.
I really loved this women, I lost alot of friends because of her, she tried to make my life a living He**. She always worried Ill hook up with someone who treats me like dirt, yet it seems to be no problem when she does it.
She always believes what other people say, even if I dont know them, nor associate. She was playing with my heart and head, was it cause she was scared? who knows but there cant be a excuse Mind Games Or Confusion?
Mind games.
Mind games played by a confused and apparently emotionally unstable individual who has no idea what she wants. Frankly, the episodes involving playing certain music on the jukebox, staring at you when the song comes on, and then leaving the bar would have been enough for me to say buh-bye.
And if that hadn't done it, her telling you ';just stay the **** out of my life and I will stay out of yours,'; and then giving you an invitation to talk definitely would have made me ensure I never saw her ever again. Life is complicated enough without the presence of insane or emotionally unstable people making it even more difficult. I sympathize. Been there before myself.
She said she just needed time but then she kept coming up with differn't excuses until she said I don't know why I pushed you away, even after giving her time. I gave up and moved on with my life. So 9 months later I decided to go to this bar. Oddly enough she sees me in the bar. I tried to ignore her but she walked up to me and said hello so I said hi back. I got uncomfortable and went out to the smoking deck. She then followed me out. At first she kind of just stared at me like she couldnt keep her eyes off of me. Like she had to come up with things to say just for a excuse to talk to me.
I went back into the bar. I was playing a game and then she sneaked behind me and tickles me. After that she wanted to dance and was trying to be up all over me. I then went back out to the smoking deck and she followed me again. She offered me a cigg and asked me pointless questions. This kind of stuff went on for 2 months at the bar. She would randomly play certain songs on the juke box, look at me then walk out. Invited me to her shows. So one day I called and asked her if she wanted to be friends, she apazzed out and said No, we'll never be friends I was just being nice to you. To me that was a little more than being nice.
Another 7 months went by and I ran into her at the mall. We happend to know a mutual friend I was hanging out with. She said just stay the F*** out of my life and I will stay out of yours. Then slowly she turned around and said, if you want to talk I'll be back. She came back and we decided to work on a friendship. We were friends for a good year.
As of Aug of this year she kept talking to me more and more each day. She would always avoid wanting to see me though, I'm not sure if it was because it hurt her to see me because she still had feelings or that she didnt want to get attached. One day she said she was going to get her hair cut, funny thing was is that I was already there, when she saw me she had a huge smile on her face but hid it. I didn't understand why she would avoid to see me, but yet always be happy when she did.
Her girlfriend is abusive and controlling. She would get up every night at 2:30 in the morning to talk to me while her g/f went to work. She dedicated me a song, a poem. She talked to me as if we were dating again. She would say things like oh **** my g/f is coming, give me a kiss and sign off. She would say things like I still wonder what it would be like with you.
After awhile of this I had enough, we only live 15 mins away from each other, yet we never hang out. I understand people have lives but why avoid seeing me? wouldnt it be easier to get over your feelings for someone if you hung out with them more often? I confronted her about this and said its not fair trying to be your friend yet you flirt with me, yet never wanna see me, yet you reach out to me.
After that she became more and more distand and said maybe its better we both stop talking to each other. After that she said I can't trust you. I neve gave her a reason not to trust me, and I never lied to her. I tried asking her what did I lie to you about and how did I lie to you? She told me I dont have to answer you. It seems to me maybe she got scared. She said It will be easier for the both of us, yet she couldnt explain that either. I waited a week to try and speak with her again. This time she got her girlfriend to call me and she started to B*** me out, I dont think it was right for her to bring her g/f into thesituation, when she had no idea about what was going on. After that she told a bunch of lies to people, saying that i was psychotic. Now half my friends hate me, she has no proof, yet I have screen shots of all the stuff she was saying to me. How is it right for someone to cheat on thier partner, play mind games, then put all the blame on me when I was just trying to care and wanted the crap to stop.
Since she assumed I was a backstabber, I thought well if shes gonna treat me like crap for no reason, then I mitice well be a backstabber, atleast then she would have a legit reason to dislike me. I tried clearing my name, showing proof but i seems its not good enough.
I really loved this women, I lost alot of friends because of her, she tried to make my life a living He**. She always worried Ill hook up with someone who treats me like dirt, yet it seems to be no problem when she does it.
She always believes what other people say, even if I dont know them, nor associate. She was playing with my heart and head, was it cause she was scared? who knows but there cant be a excuse Mind Games Or Confusion?
Mind games.
Mind games played by a confused and apparently emotionally unstable individual who has no idea what she wants. Frankly, the episodes involving playing certain music on the jukebox, staring at you when the song comes on, and then leaving the bar would have been enough for me to say buh-bye.
And if that hadn't done it, her telling you ';just stay the **** out of my life and I will stay out of yours,'; and then giving you an invitation to talk definitely would have made me ensure I never saw her ever again. Life is complicated enough without the presence of insane or emotionally unstable people making it even more difficult. I sympathize. Been there before myself.
LGBT: How can I get excited about my girlfriend leaving?
Yesterday my girlfriend excitedly texted me at work saying that she was going to Study Aboad From May to July in Germany! She said ';It's the same day Beth (her roommate) leaves so we have to figure a moving situation';. and I was like ';ohh, wow! because you both have to move so much stuff?'; and she goes ';No, i meant you moving in!'; and i go ';Ohhhhhh... Well, someone has to watch your cat for 2 months, aka me, so i can just trickle stuff in :D'; and she goes ';Im only going for 6 weeks'; and I said ';ohh, well still!';
Im SO happy for her that she's going to GERMANY! That's SO exciting.
But, ive got that lonely feeling already! Its good because her roommate leaves for good, and I am moving in, and once she's back i get to live the ';domestic life'; with my girlfriend :D
but once im moved in, im going to be so lonely! When my girlfriend went to Russia last January for a week, I was SO lonely and would sit on Facebook for hours waiting for her to come online so i could talk to her :/
How can i excite myself so I won't miss her too badly when she's gone? I don't want to be bored out of my mind and lonely. I don't have hardly any friends, but I do work during the day, so that's good :P
Any ideas?LGBT: How can I get excited about my girlfriend leaving?
First of all, congratulations to her. I bet she's really excited.
Lucky you, she won't be gone for a very long period of time. Of course, even though you're happy for her and all, it's not the kind of situation any person in a relationship would dream of, but, you need to make the best out of it.
I think it'd be a good chance to focus on work, family, friends, etc. Enjoy doing what you like, maybe you could find new hobbies, or even find new friends. Try to keep yourself as busy as you possibly can, that way you will have less time to think about how much you miss her. If everything else fails, you always have YA. :D
Oh, and for your own sake, don't torture yourself thinking about what she may be doing. She's with you, and you trust her. If you start thinking about that, it will eventually drive you insane and it may cause unnecessary problems.
Hope everything goes well.
And good luck with moving in and living together, it's a pretty big step. :)LGBT: How can I get excited about my girlfriend leaving?
keep in touch feed the cat and read books and get a job! I know you already have one..but who in the hell has time to be a Top Contributer on an online chat Forum?
hehe I know this may sound sooo random, but I've always thought that Dancing classes help u pass the time =D
Just tell yourself that everything will be ok when she gets back and think all the great things that are going to happen when she gets back!!!!
You have nearly 7 months to develop some outside interests to keep you occupied while your girlfriend is away. You need to; if you go into that much of a funk if she goes away for a week, two months will be debilitating. Her interests are taking her abroad. You don't want to be sitting at home all whiny about the fact that she is not there. That will grow to seem possessive in short order (at least it would with me). I would think having outside interests would make you feel more confident and less dependent, which would make you a better partner in my book.
Im SO happy for her that she's going to GERMANY! That's SO exciting.
But, ive got that lonely feeling already! Its good because her roommate leaves for good, and I am moving in, and once she's back i get to live the ';domestic life'; with my girlfriend :D
but once im moved in, im going to be so lonely! When my girlfriend went to Russia last January for a week, I was SO lonely and would sit on Facebook for hours waiting for her to come online so i could talk to her :/
How can i excite myself so I won't miss her too badly when she's gone? I don't want to be bored out of my mind and lonely. I don't have hardly any friends, but I do work during the day, so that's good :P
Any ideas?LGBT: How can I get excited about my girlfriend leaving?
First of all, congratulations to her. I bet she's really excited.
Lucky you, she won't be gone for a very long period of time. Of course, even though you're happy for her and all, it's not the kind of situation any person in a relationship would dream of, but, you need to make the best out of it.
I think it'd be a good chance to focus on work, family, friends, etc. Enjoy doing what you like, maybe you could find new hobbies, or even find new friends. Try to keep yourself as busy as you possibly can, that way you will have less time to think about how much you miss her. If everything else fails, you always have YA. :D
Oh, and for your own sake, don't torture yourself thinking about what she may be doing. She's with you, and you trust her. If you start thinking about that, it will eventually drive you insane and it may cause unnecessary problems.
Hope everything goes well.
And good luck with moving in and living together, it's a pretty big step. :)LGBT: How can I get excited about my girlfriend leaving?
keep in touch feed the cat and read books and get a job! I know you already have one..but who in the hell has time to be a Top Contributer on an online chat Forum?
hehe I know this may sound sooo random, but I've always thought that Dancing classes help u pass the time =D
Just tell yourself that everything will be ok when she gets back and think all the great things that are going to happen when she gets back!!!!
You have nearly 7 months to develop some outside interests to keep you occupied while your girlfriend is away. You need to; if you go into that much of a funk if she goes away for a week, two months will be debilitating. Her interests are taking her abroad. You don't want to be sitting at home all whiny about the fact that she is not there. That will grow to seem possessive in short order (at least it would with me). I would think having outside interests would make you feel more confident and less dependent, which would make you a better partner in my book.
Can someone please read this and.. evaluate it? like just tell me your thoughts on it.. any advice as well..?
ok. so i dont know what to do. so let me just start and yeah then can you tell me what u think about it or whatever. oh and its kinda long so if u want u can turn back now..
so just a lil bit of back ground. (to protect confidentiality and such.. ima go by letters for names. so we have l (girl) a (boy) j (boy) c(boy) and me (me.) lol.) so the five of us met over the summer online.. yes please dont prejudge i said online just go with the story, please. anyways we met online during the summer and we all grew very close to eachother. to the point where we talked online every night and we just did whatever. you know talked about anything, unleashed if we need to. well c and l were dating. which was cool, that was how c got into our group. me and a sorta had a thing, but j always had a thing for me. he would pm (private im - just in case) and tell me how i was just an awesome person and he liked me so much yada yada yada. well i always kinda kept tellin him you know i dont really know him as much as id like to and so idk if we should take it further. u know. stuff like that. lol so anyways yeah we talked (as a group) just about every night. it became a ritual. lol well towards the end of the summer, we kinda had to split up, in a sense. i could no longer get on because i had school starting. a moved back home, to where he didnt have internet. j started a new job, so he could never be on. and so yeah we kinda stopped talkin for awhile.
so lets fast forward to these days. well a couple weeks ago j has been talkin to me more and begging me to call him and talk to him and stuff because he wanted to get to know me more and missed me and stuff like that. well i have a bf so i told him that you know and that i couldnt talk to him because of that. you know so yeah. so we have been talkin for the last couple of weeks and stuff.. well on like friday i was talking to c, who mind u i had not talked to since of the end of the summer, and he was like so did u hear bout me and l? i was like no.. what happened? he was like we broke up. i was sick of her drama . . . and it was so i could be with you. i was just kinda like oh. lol and he was all like yup. so thats kinda the end of that situation.
well then, last night j imd me and said hey guess what?! remember l? i was like yeah of course. then he was like well were goin out now. i was of course completely flabbergasted and didnt know what to say. and i said to him really? thats hard to beleive. and he was like y? me: idk just kinda hard to think of you two together. considering when u told me u didnt really like her.. (and yeah he told me that over the summer, whether he was lying i truly dont think so.) and he was like oh well thats the past ppl change. im just like ok.
so then he kept buggin me bout calling him last night to get my thoughts on it. he kept saying well youre a good friend of mine. and you also know l and c so i wanna hear what u have to say about it.. to which finally i was just like ok. whatever.
so on the phone last night - we spent like 2 hours on the phone. and he mostly just talked and i mostly just listened. he kept tellin me that hes never been this happy before and how he loves her and yada yada yada. which is cool i told him that if thats the truth im happy for him and thats awesome. but he also said that he missed talkin to me and that i was the one person who was always there when he needed to just talk. which is quite true.
so after the phone call and all day today i have noticed how much i miss him. just getting to talk to him and stuff.. i really really miss that. idk why but i do. but im really happy with by bf and i dont want to do anything stupid like breakin up with him in hopes of getting with j.. another thing is i think im realizing now what i turned down and am mad at myself for that.
so yeah idk any advice for me? i know its long and im really really sorry but i dont know what to do.. i honestly feel like im at a stand still.. i dont know i need help.. and i need help from others that are in the outside world looking in. and i also just want to be happy for em but for some reason its hard..
thank you so much.Can someone please read this and.. evaluate it? like just tell me your thoughts on it.. any advice as well..?
First off, how many of these internet friends have you met in real life? Are you all from the same area where you can physically meet up, or have your only interactions been electronic ones? The ones who are dating, are they dating in real life or online?
If I were to assume that you all only know each other on the internet, not real life, I would say that no 'cyber-relationship' can be as good or healthy as an actual one. It's OK to meet some people online and get to know them a little, but nothing can replace face-to-face communication.
I would say that you should do what feels right to you. You might screw it up, and it's almost guaranteed that not everyone involved will walk away happy, but that's how you learn and grow in life. No message board or internet post (including this one) can tell you what the right thing to do is. You're just gonna have to figure it out on your own.
P.S. - Just a little constructive criticism: It's best to not write the same way that you talk. No one uses perfect English when they speak, but when you write you should try to use the best grammar you can. (i.e. not so many interjections 'like', 'so yeah', etc). I know this is just an internet post and if you had to write a paper for school you would do it much differently, but try not to get in the habit of 'internet writing'. -Just my opinion on the matter. No offense intended.
so just a lil bit of back ground. (to protect confidentiality and such.. ima go by letters for names. so we have l (girl) a (boy) j (boy) c(boy) and me (me.) lol.) so the five of us met over the summer online.. yes please dont prejudge i said online just go with the story, please. anyways we met online during the summer and we all grew very close to eachother. to the point where we talked online every night and we just did whatever. you know talked about anything, unleashed if we need to. well c and l were dating. which was cool, that was how c got into our group. me and a sorta had a thing, but j always had a thing for me. he would pm (private im - just in case) and tell me how i was just an awesome person and he liked me so much yada yada yada. well i always kinda kept tellin him you know i dont really know him as much as id like to and so idk if we should take it further. u know. stuff like that. lol so anyways yeah we talked (as a group) just about every night. it became a ritual. lol well towards the end of the summer, we kinda had to split up, in a sense. i could no longer get on because i had school starting. a moved back home, to where he didnt have internet. j started a new job, so he could never be on. and so yeah we kinda stopped talkin for awhile.
so lets fast forward to these days. well a couple weeks ago j has been talkin to me more and begging me to call him and talk to him and stuff because he wanted to get to know me more and missed me and stuff like that. well i have a bf so i told him that you know and that i couldnt talk to him because of that. you know so yeah. so we have been talkin for the last couple of weeks and stuff.. well on like friday i was talking to c, who mind u i had not talked to since of the end of the summer, and he was like so did u hear bout me and l? i was like no.. what happened? he was like we broke up. i was sick of her drama . . . and it was so i could be with you. i was just kinda like oh. lol and he was all like yup. so thats kinda the end of that situation.
well then, last night j imd me and said hey guess what?! remember l? i was like yeah of course. then he was like well were goin out now. i was of course completely flabbergasted and didnt know what to say. and i said to him really? thats hard to beleive. and he was like y? me: idk just kinda hard to think of you two together. considering when u told me u didnt really like her.. (and yeah he told me that over the summer, whether he was lying i truly dont think so.) and he was like oh well thats the past ppl change. im just like ok.
so then he kept buggin me bout calling him last night to get my thoughts on it. he kept saying well youre a good friend of mine. and you also know l and c so i wanna hear what u have to say about it.. to which finally i was just like ok. whatever.
so on the phone last night - we spent like 2 hours on the phone. and he mostly just talked and i mostly just listened. he kept tellin me that hes never been this happy before and how he loves her and yada yada yada. which is cool i told him that if thats the truth im happy for him and thats awesome. but he also said that he missed talkin to me and that i was the one person who was always there when he needed to just talk. which is quite true.
so after the phone call and all day today i have noticed how much i miss him. just getting to talk to him and stuff.. i really really miss that. idk why but i do. but im really happy with by bf and i dont want to do anything stupid like breakin up with him in hopes of getting with j.. another thing is i think im realizing now what i turned down and am mad at myself for that.
so yeah idk any advice for me? i know its long and im really really sorry but i dont know what to do.. i honestly feel like im at a stand still.. i dont know i need help.. and i need help from others that are in the outside world looking in. and i also just want to be happy for em but for some reason its hard..
thank you so much.Can someone please read this and.. evaluate it? like just tell me your thoughts on it.. any advice as well..?
First off, how many of these internet friends have you met in real life? Are you all from the same area where you can physically meet up, or have your only interactions been electronic ones? The ones who are dating, are they dating in real life or online?
If I were to assume that you all only know each other on the internet, not real life, I would say that no 'cyber-relationship' can be as good or healthy as an actual one. It's OK to meet some people online and get to know them a little, but nothing can replace face-to-face communication.
I would say that you should do what feels right to you. You might screw it up, and it's almost guaranteed that not everyone involved will walk away happy, but that's how you learn and grow in life. No message board or internet post (including this one) can tell you what the right thing to do is. You're just gonna have to figure it out on your own.
P.S. - Just a little constructive criticism: It's best to not write the same way that you talk. No one uses perfect English when they speak, but when you write you should try to use the best grammar you can. (i.e. not so many interjections 'like', 'so yeah', etc). I know this is just an internet post and if you had to write a paper for school you would do it much differently, but try not to get in the habit of 'internet writing'. -Just my opinion on the matter. No offense intended.
Morning P&S, this happened to me over the weekend...what would you have done?
So, I moved into a new place this weekend. As I was taking things up to my 2nd floor duplex I met my new neighbors. I met them as the pulled into the empty parking spot next to my little crv, running over my broom and dustpan that had fallen out of my car as I was walking up the stairs with an armload of junk. They got out of their car, looked stoned out of their minds, and looked at me saying ';Whoah, was that like,some of your stuff we hit?'; I told them it was my broom and dustpan with a bit of a disgruntled look on my face. ';Whoah.'; Thats all they f-ing said. No apology or anything! They walked away mumbling something about how its nice to have someone moving in or something, I wasn't really paying attention as my mind was holding me back from breaking out into a fat-rage,hulk like fit. I kept my cool, but said to my wifey upstairs, ';Honey, tomorrow I'll bring over the guns and me and the boys from the precinct are gonna go to the range...'; as the stoners were still in earshot. Good?Morning P%26amp;S, this happened to me over the weekend...what would you have done?
calm down...stoners are at least a mellow people as you have noticed lol ...be glad it's not crack heads or meth junkies..you know, glass half full. :-)Morning P%26amp;S, this happened to me over the weekend...what would you have done?
ha! that was funny.
That was very rude of them but at least you didn't cause a huge scene by snapping on them. I think what you did was good.
XD I'd say you handled it pretty well!
I think you dh is going to be doing it since he is a police officer of some kind and we need that. My dad was a police officer and I would always feel safe when he came home from the job and he would tell me about his day and so fourth. Hey the stoners could get arrested for having illegal drugs in there duplex and your manager could get a ticket for having a person with illegal stuff in the property they own and a good thing you live there and your dh can watch what goes on and tell the narcotics people who works at the precinct he does about there behavior. Good luck.
awesome!
you showed them
good job
JC! Give them a break they were stoned, It's just a broom and dust pan - You droped it Get over it already, Its time you evolve to a ';Swifter'; any way. They won't try to burn you for another broom again
That was good. One of these days, when you're off to work (or ne where for that matter)and the stoners happen to be outside, have your wifey call out to you when you're about to get into the car. Have her say something like, ';honey, on your way back from the range, bring me back a gallon of milk. Oh, and say hello to the chief for me!';. :-D
very good. and might I add Good Luck with your neighbors hide your brooms and dustpans.
nice..
calm down...stoners are at least a mellow people as you have noticed lol ...be glad it's not crack heads or meth junkies..you know, glass half full. :-)Morning P%26amp;S, this happened to me over the weekend...what would you have done?
ha! that was funny.
That was very rude of them but at least you didn't cause a huge scene by snapping on them. I think what you did was good.
XD I'd say you handled it pretty well!
I think you dh is going to be doing it since he is a police officer of some kind and we need that. My dad was a police officer and I would always feel safe when he came home from the job and he would tell me about his day and so fourth. Hey the stoners could get arrested for having illegal drugs in there duplex and your manager could get a ticket for having a person with illegal stuff in the property they own and a good thing you live there and your dh can watch what goes on and tell the narcotics people who works at the precinct he does about there behavior. Good luck.
awesome!
you showed them
good job
JC! Give them a break they were stoned, It's just a broom and dust pan - You droped it Get over it already, Its time you evolve to a ';Swifter'; any way. They won't try to burn you for another broom again
That was good. One of these days, when you're off to work (or ne where for that matter)and the stoners happen to be outside, have your wifey call out to you when you're about to get into the car. Have her say something like, ';honey, on your way back from the range, bring me back a gallon of milk. Oh, and say hello to the chief for me!';. :-D
very good. and might I add Good Luck with your neighbors hide your brooms and dustpans.
nice..
Advice on Moving East Coast to West Coast.?
Ok basically I'm at the end of the line here where I live. I HATE it! I have to move.
I want to move to San Jose, Cali Area. I've never made a big move like this. I need to line up a job before I move out there. Need to find an apt which I have been looking on Criag's List. But I'd like recommendations to what areas to move? Cheap Apts with low crime areas. How much its gonna cost to drive across the country?
Basically I'm still living at my parents house and I have to get out of here cause there are no jobs unless I want to make 15-20k a year. So I don't really care what I have for a job just not food industry and heavy lifting. If you could share cost estimates too that would be great. I don't mind leaving my stuff here and coming back for it. I'd prefer to anyway.
Just pretend like your telling it to alittle kid. Mention everything. First hand experience a big plus.Advice on Moving East Coast to West Coast.?
Silicon Valley is full of opportunity. I have heard it best described as ';'Leave it to Beaver' habitated by Stan Lee's Marvel Superheros.';
If you are handy around or knowledgeable about computers and electronics technology, nothing can beat this place in my opinon. To me there are two major business cultures in this area: high-tech and infrastructure. You either are a part of the high tech business here or your job is involved in servicing high tech.
To get started, I suggest you avoid San Jose proper and move somewhere in ';central Silicon Valley'; such as Sunnyvale, Mtn. View, Cupertino, Santa Clara or Campbell. There are always an influx of people that show up all the time trying to find their gold vein. If you are getting out of your parents place, I suggest you hang a lot of the local coffee shops and from there, you can find a place to share.
The best housing deals I have found are shared, free standing houses full of young single people. Four to five splitting rent and other expenses goes a long way around here. These are sometimes called ';geek houses.'; You get into a geek house, the networking opportunties to find jobs from personal references are endless.
Also, remember, everyone switches jobs around here every two to five years. Most companies here don't even last that long. You should do fine. Just keep your nose clean, work smart -- not hard but smart -- and invest well, you'll be paying off your parents mortgage in a few years as an anniversary present.Advice on Moving East Coast to West Coast.?
Oh boy. Well SJ is expensive, so it really depends on where you live. I would say do one of those cost of living calculators where you type in where you live and what you make and pick where you want to move and the calculator tells you how much more you should make to survive. Campbell CA seems to be less expensive. I don't consider too many whole areas to be ghetto in the South Bay, BUT you can have a great apartment complex on one street and right down the street have a downright NASTY complex.
Sounds like a big move and you need to bust out with a job first and then keep on Craigslist for a roommate.
If you have a good job, you can make it, but it is much more expensive, not only rent, but gas/electric, food is more expensive out here, so is gas (I don't know where on the East Coast you are leaving from)...
It's going to cost you about $400 to drive across with just a car and not big truck.
My suggestion to you, get a job with a company where you are that will transfer you to California after working for them for awhile.
it's a really big change! I don't know if it's a good idea to start out with San Jose though, cuz it's really expensive here. cheap in the bad ghetto areas. apartments here sell for the price of a mansion in arizona (my friend told me).
Anyway, you can always live in the Eastern side of San Jose, which has more schools and better homes. they sell for about $100, 000 average for a small house and an apt. would be about $1500 a month according to my grandma...plus driving across country would use up a lot of gas, which over here is about $2.50 a gallon.
yeah i really don't know what else to tell you, but that moving to San Jose when you barely have money is a bad idea, you'd be stuck with goodwill, living in shacks, etc.
good thing though, weather is great!!! california weather yay!
You first need to find a job since it is quite expensive to live in this area. You will also most likely need to find a roommate to help share the cost of rent. East San Jose can be ghetto in some areas and so can downtown. Your best bet is to look in the Blossom Hill area, Cambrian area, or berryessa area. Surrounding cities such as Milpitas, Fremont, Santa Clara may also have affordable places to live and are pretty nice cities.
Good luck with your move. The people are nice and the weather is much better then the east coast but my best advice it take a road trip with a friend and check out the area before deciding to move here.
It should be very safe. There are a few ';seedy'; and ';dirty'; areas like Alum Rock, the Tully Rd. area, and parts of Downtown...but they're rarely outright dangerous. I know folks in those areas and have visited them on several ocassions without incident.
San Jose is, in fact, the safest major city in America. Why? There's not much going on at night...
San Jose is basically a giant suburb. It's huge, but there's very little in the way of nightlife or cultural venues. If we want to think of the Metropolitan Bay Area (Population: 7.1 million) in New York City (Population: 8.1 million) terms... San Jose would be Queens, Oakland would be the Bronx, and San Francisco is Manhattan.
If you're in the computer field then San Jose would be OK for you. The best area to live is caled Santana Row- shops restaurants and theaters. We call san Jose Man Jose bc there are like 10 guys to every girl so keep that in mind.
I want to move to San Jose, Cali Area. I've never made a big move like this. I need to line up a job before I move out there. Need to find an apt which I have been looking on Criag's List. But I'd like recommendations to what areas to move? Cheap Apts with low crime areas. How much its gonna cost to drive across the country?
Basically I'm still living at my parents house and I have to get out of here cause there are no jobs unless I want to make 15-20k a year. So I don't really care what I have for a job just not food industry and heavy lifting. If you could share cost estimates too that would be great. I don't mind leaving my stuff here and coming back for it. I'd prefer to anyway.
Just pretend like your telling it to alittle kid. Mention everything. First hand experience a big plus.Advice on Moving East Coast to West Coast.?
Silicon Valley is full of opportunity. I have heard it best described as ';'Leave it to Beaver' habitated by Stan Lee's Marvel Superheros.';
If you are handy around or knowledgeable about computers and electronics technology, nothing can beat this place in my opinon. To me there are two major business cultures in this area: high-tech and infrastructure. You either are a part of the high tech business here or your job is involved in servicing high tech.
To get started, I suggest you avoid San Jose proper and move somewhere in ';central Silicon Valley'; such as Sunnyvale, Mtn. View, Cupertino, Santa Clara or Campbell. There are always an influx of people that show up all the time trying to find their gold vein. If you are getting out of your parents place, I suggest you hang a lot of the local coffee shops and from there, you can find a place to share.
The best housing deals I have found are shared, free standing houses full of young single people. Four to five splitting rent and other expenses goes a long way around here. These are sometimes called ';geek houses.'; You get into a geek house, the networking opportunties to find jobs from personal references are endless.
Also, remember, everyone switches jobs around here every two to five years. Most companies here don't even last that long. You should do fine. Just keep your nose clean, work smart -- not hard but smart -- and invest well, you'll be paying off your parents mortgage in a few years as an anniversary present.Advice on Moving East Coast to West Coast.?
Oh boy. Well SJ is expensive, so it really depends on where you live. I would say do one of those cost of living calculators where you type in where you live and what you make and pick where you want to move and the calculator tells you how much more you should make to survive. Campbell CA seems to be less expensive. I don't consider too many whole areas to be ghetto in the South Bay, BUT you can have a great apartment complex on one street and right down the street have a downright NASTY complex.
Sounds like a big move and you need to bust out with a job first and then keep on Craigslist for a roommate.
If you have a good job, you can make it, but it is much more expensive, not only rent, but gas/electric, food is more expensive out here, so is gas (I don't know where on the East Coast you are leaving from)...
It's going to cost you about $400 to drive across with just a car and not big truck.
My suggestion to you, get a job with a company where you are that will transfer you to California after working for them for awhile.
it's a really big change! I don't know if it's a good idea to start out with San Jose though, cuz it's really expensive here. cheap in the bad ghetto areas. apartments here sell for the price of a mansion in arizona (my friend told me).
Anyway, you can always live in the Eastern side of San Jose, which has more schools and better homes. they sell for about $100, 000 average for a small house and an apt. would be about $1500 a month according to my grandma...plus driving across country would use up a lot of gas, which over here is about $2.50 a gallon.
yeah i really don't know what else to tell you, but that moving to San Jose when you barely have money is a bad idea, you'd be stuck with goodwill, living in shacks, etc.
good thing though, weather is great!!! california weather yay!
You first need to find a job since it is quite expensive to live in this area. You will also most likely need to find a roommate to help share the cost of rent. East San Jose can be ghetto in some areas and so can downtown. Your best bet is to look in the Blossom Hill area, Cambrian area, or berryessa area. Surrounding cities such as Milpitas, Fremont, Santa Clara may also have affordable places to live and are pretty nice cities.
Good luck with your move. The people are nice and the weather is much better then the east coast but my best advice it take a road trip with a friend and check out the area before deciding to move here.
It should be very safe. There are a few ';seedy'; and ';dirty'; areas like Alum Rock, the Tully Rd. area, and parts of Downtown...but they're rarely outright dangerous. I know folks in those areas and have visited them on several ocassions without incident.
San Jose is, in fact, the safest major city in America. Why? There's not much going on at night...
San Jose is basically a giant suburb. It's huge, but there's very little in the way of nightlife or cultural venues. If we want to think of the Metropolitan Bay Area (Population: 7.1 million) in New York City (Population: 8.1 million) terms... San Jose would be Queens, Oakland would be the Bronx, and San Francisco is Manhattan.
If you're in the computer field then San Jose would be OK for you. The best area to live is caled Santana Row- shops restaurants and theaters. We call san Jose Man Jose bc there are like 10 guys to every girl so keep that in mind.
Will it last?! Will he ever regret what he's done?
My common law spouse of 10.5 years left me 5 months ago. I caught him cheating with a 22 year old girl he worked with, my ex is 35 years old (he was her supervisor). We had just bought our first house together 8 months prior. The day I caught him, I found a text message on his phone that said “I want some of your sweet wake up lovin” he denied it and told me that “she” was just joking. I kicked him out and he called me from a payphone crying saying that it wasn’t what I thought, he tried everything to make me believe that it wasn’t what I thought. However, he never returned to our home. Instead, he moved in with this 22yr old “girlfriend” and her roommates in a house just up the street where our home was. He lived there for 2 ? months while I was at our home devastated and trying to keep up with mortgage, car and utilities payments on my own. I ashamed to admit but I tried everything to try and salvage our relationship, however he never cared to entertain the idea. Needless to say, he did not give me any money for his responsibilities, he just walked away from it all. I had to move out of the house because I couldn’t stand to be there anymore, I was literally losing my mind. I moved back home which is 3 hours away and am back living with my Mom at 30 years old! He came to get his belongings at the end of August and told me that he was getting his own place which was a complete lie because they moved in together and now rent a townhouse. I gave him quite a few things like our couch, TV, kitchen stuff that is now parked in his new place with this girl. I feel like such a fool for even giving him this stuff but I believed that he was really getting his own place. Now, because we defaulted on our mortgage and loan payments, we now have to file for bankruptcy. I worked so hard to get us where we were in life only to be robbed of it all.Not only did I lose my best friend, my spouse and my future, I have lost my home and financial future as well due to his selfish actions, the worst part is that he doesn’t care. We have mutual friends and I hear that he is happy. Our friends tell me to move on because he has, how do I move on when I have nothing to move on to? He was in town a few days ago and said that he wanted to bring his new girlfriend and introduce her to everyone, that they had now been dating for 6 months. So, stupid me, this was going on even before I ever caught him.
How could anyone be happy knowing all the pain and sorrow they have caused? How can he be “happy’ knowing this? I wonder if his “new” relationship will last, how can something that started off with deceit and lies be healthy? Will this relationship last?!! Was “she” worth it to lose it all?! I never saw this coming, I was completely blindsided and the pain and hurt I have is overwhelming. I wonder if he thinks about me or even regrets what he has done?!Will it last?! Will he ever regret what he's done?
be glad that he stepped out now. think of it like this, he lost everything that you did so if he can move on then so can you.. get yourself all prettied up and go out and have some fun. you've been in a serious relationship since you were 20! its hard to start over but at least try to enjoy your time doing it. know that you wont get into something as serious as buying property with someone unless your married and they have all their playing games out of their system. hes missing out.. trust me he is. hes probably one of those men that will get everything that he has coming... you just be the bigger person and wish him well... time will heal all of those wounds and your going to get a new guy that's hotter, with a better job, and will make your ex look like the true loser that he is..... just you wait.Will it last?! Will he ever regret what he's done?
Rest assured that her time to suffer and writhe will come. The cycle will continue, and a cheater will eventually upgrade to a newer model. Be glad you didn't have any children, and it's only financial losses.
I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through that... The best you can do is focus on you and now your single life... do everything you think you would enjoy and take your mind off of him.
He's not worth your time for any reason.
I know you feel awful now but it will pass. You need to realize being bitter and devoting to much time to thinking about the bastard will get you nothing but depressed. Think of ways that to improve yourself and make you feel better. That way when a good man comes your way you will be ready and in the right frame of mind. Life is short dont waste time dwelling on someone who doesn't deserve you.
This is going to be tough to try to do, but you have to stop living for the answers you won't get. He's not going to answer them for you, and you probably wouldn't like the answers if he did.
You should stop wondering about your ex's relationship, and his feelings, and his situation, and get on living your own. Work on developing your resilience, and work to simply understand that these things happen, people get hurt, and that the most important thing is to move on and take this as a very bad lesson learned.
What do you move on to when there's nothing there to move to? This is a ';blank slate'; time of your life - its actually an opportunity to create things for yourself that you didn't when you were busy either with that sorry excuse for a man, and busy with the things that tied you down, so my recommendation is you treat it as such - its not as bad as you think!
Good luck to you!
Can't you sue him for breach of contract or something? He did walk on the mortgage which caused your finical ruin. I wouldn't let him walk away from this clean. **** that. Get your money.
And as for the girl, who cares? Your relationship with that piece of **** is over. Don't worry about her or him. I understand that you're hurt, you put a lot of your life into that. But it's over now and it's time to move on to better things.
Karma always gets people in the end.
if you need a guy hit me up
Any relationship built on someone else's misery will not last, because any fair god won't allow it. One day he'll regret it, but by then you will have moved on. Usually men are willing to give it all up for the new woman. The best thing to do is to cut all ties even if it means cutting ties with all mutual friends you both had. the less you know about them the better. Its like a stab in the heart every time you hear about them. Of course he doesn't care, because he isn't the one hurt.
How could anyone be happy knowing all the pain and sorrow they have caused? How can he be “happy’ knowing this? I wonder if his “new” relationship will last, how can something that started off with deceit and lies be healthy? Will this relationship last?!! Was “she” worth it to lose it all?! I never saw this coming, I was completely blindsided and the pain and hurt I have is overwhelming. I wonder if he thinks about me or even regrets what he has done?!Will it last?! Will he ever regret what he's done?
be glad that he stepped out now. think of it like this, he lost everything that you did so if he can move on then so can you.. get yourself all prettied up and go out and have some fun. you've been in a serious relationship since you were 20! its hard to start over but at least try to enjoy your time doing it. know that you wont get into something as serious as buying property with someone unless your married and they have all their playing games out of their system. hes missing out.. trust me he is. hes probably one of those men that will get everything that he has coming... you just be the bigger person and wish him well... time will heal all of those wounds and your going to get a new guy that's hotter, with a better job, and will make your ex look like the true loser that he is..... just you wait.Will it last?! Will he ever regret what he's done?
Rest assured that her time to suffer and writhe will come. The cycle will continue, and a cheater will eventually upgrade to a newer model. Be glad you didn't have any children, and it's only financial losses.
I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through that... The best you can do is focus on you and now your single life... do everything you think you would enjoy and take your mind off of him.
He's not worth your time for any reason.
I know you feel awful now but it will pass. You need to realize being bitter and devoting to much time to thinking about the bastard will get you nothing but depressed. Think of ways that to improve yourself and make you feel better. That way when a good man comes your way you will be ready and in the right frame of mind. Life is short dont waste time dwelling on someone who doesn't deserve you.
This is going to be tough to try to do, but you have to stop living for the answers you won't get. He's not going to answer them for you, and you probably wouldn't like the answers if he did.
You should stop wondering about your ex's relationship, and his feelings, and his situation, and get on living your own. Work on developing your resilience, and work to simply understand that these things happen, people get hurt, and that the most important thing is to move on and take this as a very bad lesson learned.
What do you move on to when there's nothing there to move to? This is a ';blank slate'; time of your life - its actually an opportunity to create things for yourself that you didn't when you were busy either with that sorry excuse for a man, and busy with the things that tied you down, so my recommendation is you treat it as such - its not as bad as you think!
Good luck to you!
Can't you sue him for breach of contract or something? He did walk on the mortgage which caused your finical ruin. I wouldn't let him walk away from this clean. **** that. Get your money.
And as for the girl, who cares? Your relationship with that piece of **** is over. Don't worry about her or him. I understand that you're hurt, you put a lot of your life into that. But it's over now and it's time to move on to better things.
Karma always gets people in the end.
if you need a guy hit me up
Any relationship built on someone else's misery will not last, because any fair god won't allow it. One day he'll regret it, but by then you will have moved on. Usually men are willing to give it all up for the new woman. The best thing to do is to cut all ties even if it means cutting ties with all mutual friends you both had. the less you know about them the better. Its like a stab in the heart every time you hear about them. Of course he doesn't care, because he isn't the one hurt.
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