How should I get over my best friend?

Some 3-4 months ago, I broke up with my girlfriend. It wasn't so bad, we had sort of an awkward relationship from the start, but even before that, we were best friends. Of the two of us, I was definitely the person more attached to the other in the relationship. This became very obvious when she moved on (intimately, even) to another guy less than a month after breaking up with me to ';be single';. It made me very sad for a while, but, I got over it. Then he moved away (boot camp, at least) and she was going to wait for him, but, must've tired of it. It could've worked out, even.



Anyhow, we stayed friends, and after a while, we were best friends again, and I feel like things should've worked out between us because of how well we click when we're together. Then I think about how she's changed.



Since the last guy who's off at boot camp right now, she's turned into this other person, it seems. She says she's finally comfortable being single, which is wonderful, but now she's looking for meaningless physical contact with other people...not just kisses and hugs, full-on making out and groping. For some, not a big deal. The person I met and became friends with thought that stuff was supposed to mean something, that it was something you'd do with your significant other, and now, here she is looking for it from people she doesn't even like - just finds attractive. Now I worry about her hooking up and having sex with a random dude sometime she decides to get drunk.



I may still have some feelings for her, too. Most importantly, though, I love and respect her as a friend, but, she's really throwing that away, as well as her own self-respect. On one hand, I feel as though I should be there for her, but, she simply won't listen to me. On the other hand, my worrying and trying has been a huge emotional and mental strain.



I'm contacting her less and less. I genuinely miss talking to her, and when she calls me (she still feels secure just hearing my voice, she says) it makes me happy, but it's to the point where even thinking about her sometimes makes me depressed. We really do have a good time when we hang out and nothing happens (she's at least kissed another guy in front of me, which was awkward and depressing), but she's sort of spinning out of control.

Nobody else seems to want to steer her out of it. Many of her other friends have more or less moved on, and her parents aren't, well, very active. She's a big girl, she should be able to take care of herself, but...well, she's not.

I wanna stop worrying, but, I don't want to hear some months down the road that she's totally changed and had sex with half a dozen new guys, either. It's kind of the road she's going down, though.



I'm having trouble just simply putting her out of my mind.How should I get over my best friend?
If you aren't a sadist, and it doesn't sound like you are, you should move on. Whether or not she may come back to you is irrelevant, you deserve somebody that wants to be with you and only you. She sounds like she still has some wild oats to sow.How should I get over my best friend?
as hard as it may sound...you really should tell her how you feel.

you never know it might make her like you again

but thats the only way.
think of all the worst things she ever done to you and youll get over her/him
You miss the old her. She is the one who is making this choice. You have set a good example. It appears that she is acting out and needs to be encouraged and counseling. Sometimes some of us need to step away and learn (not the having sex with a lot of different men). Learning helps us grow, this could be her way of expressing herself. Be kind, in time she may be back to the person you were once very fond of.
one of the most difficult things in life is getting over a best friend. it can be impossible sometimes. you will always hold a special place in your heart for that person. since they have been with you for such a long time, you have come to love them and trust them. but for now just try to think of what she has done and the path she has been heading down. if you feel like moving on completely from her then you can and just try to hang out with ur guy friends, and ur family, and just have fun. but if not then you can still try to get on with ur life but just keep her close. you said she still calls you...so that means she still thinks of you as a friend and loves you to some extent. if you want to help her through this hard time since you said she doesnt have many friends and her parents are involved then you can be there for her. but if you feel she doesnt deserve that because of what she did to you then thats ok. but you shouldnt contact her first just let her come to you and continue starting today to just live ur life and have fun for now. maybe another girl will come along you never know. just have fun and live a good life cuz you only get one!! best of luck to you!!!
Friendship, after being romantically involved, is not always easy... but, it is possible. My current boyfriend started out being my friend, then my boyfriend, then my ex, then my friend, and now, my boyfriend again. This all took place over a seven year period, and I finally feel like we have found our rightful place with each other. It certainly had it's ups and downs along the way. Friendship isn't always fun, or comfortable, or ideal. It gets tested... and that's what it sounds like is happening with you and your ';friend'; right now. She is obviously going off in another direction, and it doesn't sound like a good one, but it's her choice to make. Your choices will have to be made along the way, just as you have been doing up to now. You will have to decide whether the friendship is worth the troubles it brings. You will also have to be on your toes and be able to recognize whether she values your friendship, or is just using you. This friendship is at a cross-road right now and is being tested. Only time will tell if it will survive or not. You are obviously much more in tune to the true meaning of friendship than she is. She may learn from you, in time, or she may not. If her main focus is just having fun, at any expense, and she doesn't care about anyone else in the process of satisfying herself, she may very well end up losing some very special people along the way. There's nothing you can do but decide for yourself if it's worth it to remain her friend. Never lose sight of the fact that your feelings are just as important as hers! A true friend may always care about you, but it doesn't mean they will always be there. I lost a very close and dear friend when I did something very similar to what your friend is doing. I regret it to this day! And even though I know she still loves me, I also know that I ruined a wonderful relationship through my own selfishness and bad choices. It wasn't worth the sacrafice I had to make. Now, I'm too ashamed to even try to make amends, because I feel like too much damage was done. The saddest part is, I knew what I was giving up at the time, but I did it anyway, and most of that was because I had a drinking problem that was out of control. I hope that doesn't happen to your friend, but it sounds like it could. From my own experience, I will say that when you're up against that, you're fighting a losing battle. I am now recovered, but still paying for those bad choices in my life.
im sorry for your pain. but with all her self destructive behavior it sounds as if she is hurt as well. she may be begging for help and she just doesnt know it yet. she may just want to feel loved and validated. it may sound off the wall, but.....lets just say i have been there and done that and have lived to tell about it. however, i have a few regrets im carrying around as baggage. you are just going to have to tell her everything that you feel. you seem like an awesome friend. i wish i had someone like you when i was practically destroying my life.