If your sister's fiance says he hates you...?

I'm not rewriting everything, if you care to look at my recent questions. more details there.





Basicly my family had a fight. My sister's fiance, who is currently living with us, instead of speaking directly to me and and saying what his problem was, starts posting some nasty stuff on my facebook wall. He can delete it when he wants. I'll let everyone see the kind of person he is. I sent him a response in a persanal message, basicly calling him out, and adding that dispite any disagreement i would not attack him on a personal level publicly. This hapened yesterday.


Today my mother told me i needed to apologize to him. I didn't really have anything to apologize to him for anything regarding the initial family fight, especially since he wasn't even involved and put himself in the middle of it, so i apologized just for how things were handled and how it turned out. I told him that it was a b!+ch move that he did on facebook, and basicly restated what i already said in my message. I didn't apologize for the initial cause or issue because it's none of his business. He didn't say anything for the longest time, so i said, ';I've had my say,'; and went to my room, probably to get on Y! Answers!lol but seriously now, My mother came to me a bit later and said that it was like a slap in the face to him when i walked away. I'm thinking that he is acting like a child. MY mother asked me to go see what he had to say. So i went to where he was and said, my mother told me to see him, and asked if he had anything to say because if he didn't i was going to just go. He told me i was stubborn and hardheaded and nothing he could say would change my mind. I said i wasn't going to go just yot, because if we are going to do the whole family thing then we need to communicate. He told me to go. Well aparently an hour or two after that, he posted another comment on my facebook, but this time he reserved the real personal attacks for a private message in which he said that he hates me, we are neither friend nor family, called me a douchebag, and it wasn't in the casual sense, obviously, and basicly wished for my failure.





I don't know really what i should be asking here. Maybe advise. I've apologized to everyone approprite (his family and mine) for whatever was appropriate to them. Everyone exept him was actually really cool. All af them were like, hey no biggie, stuff happens, and some who i thought i needed to apologize to most, didn't even see it necesary to apologize. So considering this and that my sister's fiance had no involvment initially and made it his business and got burned as a result and that he is living with us while he is supposed to be looking for a job and i have offered to help him in that department what do you think should be done?





Sorry for the lengthIf your sister's fiance says he hates you...?
Not sure I can be helpful, but I'm burned up just listening to what has happened to you.





What comes to my mind is that it's best to stay polite and cordial as you can AND keep your distance from him in the house.





He's absolutely overstepped his bounds, if only bc no ring is on your sister's finger or his just yet.





It also sounds like he's trying to take privileges and be the ';man'; of the house. Tell him you already have/had a ';daddy';, don't need another, and he'll never take your dad's place.





WITHOUT A DOUBT: Save any and all e-mails, IM's, etc. he sends in which he says cruel and hurtful things. Print out your own statements, esp. if they are civil.





If it was me (and I had the guts, lol), just before we're all sitting down to a family dinner, I'd lay the copies of his nasty messages on the table or pass them around.





When everybody's had a good look, I'd turn to my mother and sister and say:





He's been unbelievably nasty and underhanded to me before and he's abused me verbally or emotionally in private when no one's looking. Look. He's done it again now, and I totally expect he'll do it in the future. Marry him if you want to, but I think I'm done taking crap from him.





NOW, I think it's long past due time that HE should apologize to ME.





Next, eat your dinner and walk away.





No....wait, pass the docs around AFTER dinner. No good reason you should go hungry or off your food. :)





Totally change the dynamics here: He has to come to YOU.





Most of all: KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.





Don't offer him any more job help unless he asks and is respectful about it. Tell him to eat s*hit if he tries to abuse you verbally or emotionally in private again.





Don't fall for the he's/I'm ';under stress'; routine.If your sister's fiance says he hates you...?
I agree with the above..from answerme. I think you need to expose his bad behaviour but of course make sure you have eaten your dinner first :) He is way out of line and you need to keep a healthy distance from him in every way..he could be big trouble in the future. Keep anything he says or does as proof of his terrible behaviour ..just in case the time comes when you may need it.