';Running away'; at 19...?

Alright so I realiza that since I am over the legal age of 18, if I just left my house it would not be technically running away. But that's what I'm doing. I'll give you a little bit of information to fully understand so you're able to answer the question I'm going to ask though. So, let me say first that I am not leaving my parents house out of hate, anger, or anything cliche like that. My reason is that I just want to live my life the way I've always been wanting to. And that's very hard to do when you have one of the most judgmental people as your mom. I don't necessarily want to go and do bad things but just I guess not have to worry if what I am doing is going to be approved by her.



I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.



As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.



So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that?



Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at. Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.





Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.';Running away'; at 19...?
As long as you leave the car and phone (I assume both are in your parents name) then you are committing no crime. No, there is no way for them to find you, and there is no legal action they can take to do so.



I suppose if your bank card statements come to their house they can get a general idea of where you are by atm withdraws and POS purchases, if they were so inclined to go through your statements. All the things the poster above mentioned, they don't have access to track these things. For example, your driver's license. A police officer can get your info in a heartbeat, but your parents have no legal standing to request the information. They cannot report you missing since you left a note. They are not going to hire a private detective.



Don't you think it would be so much easier to just say, ';Mom, Dad, I'm moving in with so-and-so.';? I don't think you have to worry about them tracking you down. Even if you get all this done in the middle of the night, you all will be back on good terms and sending christmas cards eventually.';Running away'; at 19...?
lol running away at 19? you say that when your 15 or 12, at 19 you should be away
yes...they can hire a private investigator.

if you get a job...you need to use your ssn for that.

if you get a drivers license..they can track that...

if you get cable or utlities billl they can track that

if you apply for credit, they can track that too....

its pretty hard unless you change your identity
No, they won't be able to find you. They don't have access to any of your private records anymore.



But, be sure that the car is in your name. If it isn't, and you take it, they can report it stolen, and you can get in serious trouble. Or they will just locate you, take it back and know where you are. So if the title isn't in your name, don't take it.
hmm... only if they got the police involved i guess. other than that you should be safe
I really hate to burst your bubble but I can find you in 15 minutes on the internet. Exactly where you live, your drivers license #, your place of employment, your last purchase on your debit card, EVERYTHING.



Don't believe me....look it up for yourself.
Yes they can still find you if you tell them who your boyfriend is, best to keep that information to yourself. If they know where you work they could also get in contact with you as well. But you are legally an adult now, even if they did find you there is nothing they can do from having you fulfill your dreams. Don't worry so much about them finding you, once you leave they aren't important how you live your life is however. I wish you the best!
well i mean it technically isnt running away.... but it seems like it would work out well. just as long as you contact them like 3 days max after u leave. and they might be able to track you by where you call them.... but other than that ur plan seems to work out well... oh unless they get the police involved! then they could probably find u! cuz they might go to missing persons if u sneak out in the middle of the night. idk but i think thats just silly! n im 13. y cant u just be an adult n tell them ur leaving? i mean come on ur 19!!!! ur acting like a little kid running away!! move out dont run away. n be civilized to. n im pretty sure theyd understand if u move out. k?



But it would just be soooo much easier to tell them the day before. but its ur choice.



Well good luck with whatever you choose to do ok? Bye!!!



oh n ps... no offense but i kinda agree with Baub. oh n RE.
Unless you are being abused by your parents, this sounds like an incredible amount of unnecessary paranoia and drama, sneaking away in the dead of night, to say nothing of the fact that they will undoubtedly hear you. Just tell them you are leaving, that there is a letter explaining everything on the kitchen counter, and leave. Or better still, discuss the whole matter with them openly and thoroughly, well before leaving. If they are abusing you, it is a police matter and you can get a restraining order.



As far as hiding out, that sounds rather immature. Of course they can find you by going to your work and talking to your boss. Do you really want them doing that? Even if your new address isn't given out, it will make your private life very public and embarrassing. And as some other poster pointed out, a private detective can find you in a New York minute.



If you are not mature enough to confront them, you are not mature enough to leave. You will probably just exchange one set of control freaks for a single control freak (your boyfriend).
Regardless of how overbearing your mom is, I find you to be a selfish, ungrateful coward! You are 19! Get an apartment or roomate and move out! Tell your mom and dad you love them (to their face) pack your things and move! If mom is unhappy, be nice and tell her it is time for you to be on your own. If you make so much damn money, maybe you could help them out a bit or do something for them. They took care of you for how long? Oh yeah! 19 years!!!

The way you described to leave home is deceitful and mean! Grow up!