What would you do if your ';friend'; did this?

I had a friend, my best friend for almost 15 years, do something completely unforgivable last summer. It basically started with us having an argument the weekend of her 30th birthday.

I was supposed to visit her in Ohio, but events unfolded out of my control and I couldn't make it up there. With the help of her husband I managed to salvage some stuff I had planned for the following weekend. Before I could follow through, she wrote me a very unhappy text and I texted back that I would call her later to talk about it, after work. When I finally got home and was checking my emails, I found one from her. She was very nasty and hurtful and I wrote back that it was unfair of her to act the way she was without knowing just how wrong my weekend had gone. She wouldn't answer my call later and the next day, Sunday, my middle son's birthday, she sent me another email. Again it was very nasty. Finally at my own breaking point I told her about my weekend and how if she had been patient with me I had made plans to make it up to her, but at this point I was tired of being pulled in far too many directions at once and that maybe we needed to chill for a bit and back off. She replied that she had expected better of me and that if I was truly her friend I would have been there to celebrate her birthday no matter what.

Never mind that my son's birthday is the day after hers, that our new regional vp had scheduled a mandatory company meeting the day of her b-day, or that my baby sister had been in a car accident with her boyfriend and police were looking for her to question her that same morning. Her attitude just reminded me too many times of previous instances when I was supposed to just drop everything for her, if I was truly her friend. So I lashed out back at her and told her basically that I needed her to leave me alone for a bit, until she could understand that the world couldn't always revolve around her. I admit to being hurtful and mean to her. But I would NEVER have done what she did to me later.

The next day she called my husband and told him I was having an affair with two different guys. My husband called me and asked me about it. It created a huge fight between us which lasted for several days and I told her that it was done. That if she ever contacted anyone in my family again I would tear her world apart any way I could. In my mind she didn't just hurt me, she actively did something knowing my husband and how he'd react and knowing that, still threatened the world my children know.

I haven't spoken to her in any way in over a year. In the last month she has repeatedly texted, written and emailed me. I have completley ignored her. But today my middle son gave me a note when I got home that his ';Aunt'; had given him. Apparently she has found out where we recently moved to and was waiting at my house when my boys got home from school. It said the same thing she's been saying this last month- I miss you, you were my only true friend, I need you, please forgive me.

She won't take the message and I don't know how more firm I can be about it. I texted her that she had better stay away from my family and her reply was only-Please call me. I miss you. I am so sorry. Please call.

I don't know what to do.What would you do if your ';friend'; did this?
It can only get worse. She is still not seeing you as a person with your own life. I suspect that you have been far too tolerant of her and everyone else in the past. You have to get past feeling like you did anything wrong or hurtful...you must defend yourself.



If possible, talk to your husband. If he is as scary as he sounds, let him tell her to get lost. She will only cause you worse trouble down the road. I have a sister with similar problems and after a lifetime of being together, I finally had to let her go. If nothing else, change your email address and by all means, continue to ignore her.What would you do if your ';friend'; did this?
Before I can answer, do you know why she was being so mean at this particular moment in time?
Sounds like shes a psycho. Friends are supposed to understanding and not trying to ruin other's marriage and stuff. I wouldn't respond to her as if I know she will try to do the same thing by emailing you nasty stuff etc. all over again if you make her mad once more. good luck!
wow shes a dumb ***** tell her you want nothing to do with her and if still wont leave you alone threaten 2 call the cops n if she still wont leave call the cops on her @$$
wow... if it persists and you feel your life, or your childrens lives are in danger definately go to your local law enforcement and tell them your situation
Oh Dear...

:O



I Would Reply To Her. She Might Start Getting Stalker-ish If You Don't D:
dang. That was long.

But yeah.

You should just forgive her if she's saying sorry and stuff

She could have been confussd.

Don't be to mean

Plus you guys are 30.

It's not something to get mad about or not something to ruin the frensship over it.



Forgive and forget(:



Hope I helped!(;



Tashaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa%26lt;3
It sounds to me as if too much bad stuff has happened between the two of you for you to ever be friends again. What she did was awful.

I think I would make new friends. Sometimes people have to learn the

hard way. She deserves what ever she gets. Telling your husband such a lie is unforgivable.
there is always some unexpected things happened

you should treasure the 15 years old relationship

it is enviable
I am going to be honest so prepare yourself. First of all if your sons birthday was the day after hers, you should of not made plans to go see your friend till the following weekend. Plus to she had no right to do what she did to get back at you that was wrong even if you were cheating on your husband. I understand what you are saying, but just understand that she was pissed that you went back on your word and now she regrets it horribly. But are you willing to give up 15 years of friendship. If you are a littly weiry of her just take the friendship slow. Trust me that is what I am doing to a friend right now and we used to be the best of friends till she did not invite me to her son's bday party then lied to me and said she did not have one. Oh was I mad we did not talk for seven months and just recently started talking again. I know it is tuff, but it might make you feel like a better person.
ok, first of all, holy sh*t. that woman is crazy. second, yes maybe you were a little harsh, but if she found your address and contacted your son, stay the hell away from her!!



if this does not stop, i would get a restraining order. if she can find your address, then who knows what she could do.
I would forgive her but then again I'm weird like that and don't hold grudges. I can't stay mad at people for 2 days much less a year.
First of all, I'm sorry your even going through something so unnecessary like this. But I'll start off with saying your friend really has no right. What's one birthday, right? She should be really ashamed of the way she has treated you. One thing about being a best friend, or even just a friend, is that you should be understanding with each others situations. Her reaction should have been, '; Aw bummer! Maybe next time you can come up. I miss you!'; right? Making you feel guilty, sending you hateful and nasty texts and emails isn't anyway of dealing with it either. She said all that stuff and then what, you still couldn't see her. So she has to realize that the world doesn't revolve around her and that things happen. And even though cheating on your husband is unfaithfulness, she still had no right to call your husband and tell him. That's where ';butting into other peoples business comes in.'; Although in conclusion, I am a Christian so I'm big on forgiveness. I say meet with her, talk about how you felt she handled things and how you were hurt, etc. Then set new boundaries and forgive her, and I mean truly forgive her.





I hope I helped. I'm only 16, but I think I have enough intelligence to know what's right from wrong (: Take care.
Meet with her and see what she has to say. If your still not sure about her or if she is a true friend (if she was she most likely wouldn't have treated you so badly). You should just tell her to say away that you have move on. if she continues to bother you, threaten to get a restraining order on her. However you should give her the benefit of the doubt and see what see has to say. ( you could take your husband with you so he knows what happened so she can't try to lie to him again by telling him you did something you didn't).
She is nuts, I would get a restraining order, hopefully she will stay away someone this nuts might not. Tell the kids if they see her to get away from her, do not answer the front door, check caller I.D. before you answer the phone. This is NOT a friend, something is wrong with this one.