I'm MADLY in love with my best friend....I BELIEVE that it's mutual, and I want to propose....am I crazy?

Okay.....here goes. She and I have been friends for 4 years now. We were an odd match when we started spending time together, but we both quickly realized just how much we had in common. We've helped each other through things that still baffle my mind. Things that neither of us would have chosen to discuss with most anyone else, but somehow we knew that the other would always understand.





Recently, I was forced to move away. We keep in contact via email, text, and phone very regularly. The talk is always of family, friends, work, and eventually falls on both of our TERRIBLE relationships that we somehow always get involved in.





She knows that I love her, in fact, she knows that I am crazy in love with her. She's also confided in me that I have destroyed all of her previous expectations of guys. And that chances are, she'll never find anyone who can treat her like I would.





Am I missing the signs? Is she doing ';the girl thing'; and just flattering a friend?





I really want to marry this girl....and I have, in fact, told her this. Her response was that she knew I wanted to marry her. I have spent almost a year trying to decide whether or not it's okay to propose to a friend that you have never known ';romantically.'; Aside from cuddling and kissing on the forehead, this has never gotten to anything physical.





We regularly exchange I love you's, and I believe that she has romantic feelings for me, but am I assuming too much? Is that just too far? Sadly, right now, to begin a relationship it would have to be long distance....which usually destroys relationships, in my experience. She has expressed much boredom with her current situation back home. So, I'm ready to say....';Come on baby, pack your stuff, let's hit the road.'; I'm also considering buying a house ';back home'; thinking that might be an easier transition. But....my job is still going to be many miles from her.





I realize that I sound completely nuts, but I have no way to convince anyone reading this otherwise. I just know in my heart that I can, will, and would be happy to love and cherish her for the rest of my life. In fact....no matter where our relationship goes I'm going to love her fro the rest of my life.





So...the question stands.......can I propose to a friend?I'm MADLY in love with my best friend....I BELIEVE that it's mutual, and I want to propose....am I crazy?
Well, how about this? I met a guy back in high school. We were good friends, and he was around the whole time I was dating other guys. He told me once he was going to marry me, and I was like, uh huh, sure. I just kept on dating my then boyfriend. Well, this guy joined the Marines and we still kept in contact via phone and e-mail. He was in North Carolina and I was in Illinois. My boyfriend and I broke up and he finally asked me out, even though he was so far away. That was back in 2001. We shared our first kiss on Christmas Eve, and I'm not kidding... it knocked my socks off. It's 2009 now and we will have been married for 6 years in May.





You aren't crazy, but you can't propose to a friend without even a real kiss. Fly her out to you and approach the topic of becoming romantically involved NOT sex. See how it goes. You two might be the perfect pair, but without even one romantic date with a real kiss at the end... I don't know. That might be too much, too soon, even if you are the yard stick she measures all others against.I'm MADLY in love with my best friend....I BELIEVE that it's mutual, and I want to propose....am I crazy?
so i didnt read it at all... but anyway


you have to date her first.


otherwise thats crazy
um thats way too long. but my opinion is= if youre going to propose...then why the heck not ask her out. if you like where its going, then it will be much more normal to propose. but i dont think you have a good chance...with a freind
you can propose to a friend


but u said u ';think'; its mutual


in my opinion thats moving kinda fast


but i love my best guy friend too so i know how you feel
Ask her out. Try a relationship first. Things will and do change. I married a girl that I knew for 7 years before we dated and there were a lot of things to adjust to. We moved in quick and married 2 years later. Been married for 6 years now. It might work out it might not.
Try dating her first! Tell her how you feel cuz you can't do anything with her unless you talk to her about it first.
I married my best friend several years ago. If you love her, tell her now. Pack your stuff, hit the road and start your life together.
Yeah, I didn't read it all either. I would suggest snogging her face off then proposing.


Or you might want to try asking her if she feels the same and if she doesn't then you don't fall flat on your face and become distant with her from humiliation.
No.





You need to start off with something slower first. Ya'll need to at least date for a bit before you start thinking about proposing.





And frankly the distance is probably going to be a problem for a bit.





I'd recommend arranging a weekend where you go visit her, or she comes to visit you. Set things up with her so ya'll can spend the whole weekend together. If things go well, then talk to her that weekend about moving your relationship further along.
Date her first. See at least 7 romance movies. Kiss multiple times. Then bring out the ring.
So, it doesn't have to be physical AT ALL for you to tell if you're really, madly in love, but maybe you should court/date her first, before marrying her. I have amazing guy friends who treat me wonderfully, but it just wouldn't work out romantically for us. :)
I'd give it some time + and try and date first.


It's not crazy, you just love her.
i don't think she likes you.


let's not be rational here, kids.


xx
Here is the thing. You said it yourself, you are too far away to ask for a commitment like that now. Wait until you actually see her and tell her how you feel. include the last paragraph saying no matter what the decision is, you always want her in your life. But be prepared because no man can decipher a women's feelings. And you could have a bomb dropped on you. I think all will go well. Just make sure you can be there to tell her. It would be more intimate and she won't think you are just saying that because you are away from home. Good luck
YES!! i think you should! you obviously sound madly in love w/ her and it sounds like she has the same feelings for you so go for it! u said that long distance relationships don't work, right? but u 2 have made it work for like a year so i think its time to make your move! and don't worry, u don't have to have physical love w/ someone just to propose to them. your suppose to save that for after your married anyway. good luck!!!
Coming from a girl perspective I think if she really loves you and has deep and romantic feeling for you than ask her to move in with you and and after that when you feel the time is right and you still feel the same way about her prepose. The worst thing she can say is no.





Good luck!
I don't think you should propose straight away. In my opinion you need to build a foundation of a relationship just like you would with anyone else. If you can maintain a long distance friendship, then with some more effort you should be able to maintain a long distance relationship too. If you're that in love, do whatever you can but don't propose straight out: it sounds harsh, but you might just want what you can't have.
YES ! GO FOR IT ! I would say yes !
Your logic sounds reasonable, but it is really akin to that of a lot of chick flicks, and in actuality, it just isn't sensible. Even if your friend cares about you, it is unlikely that she will want to jump right into an engagement without even dating you. Try things out for a bit as a couple, and if it is working out months from now, then you can ask her to marry you. I know you're excited about this because love does that to people, but you just need to calm down and take things slow.
ABSOLUTLY YES YOU CAN!!! are you kidding? you love her so deeply than anyones else ever will. now i am no love doctor here- but i am not a bonehead. she loves you too. reading this story i knew that you guys will always have a conection. your bond started out as a tree-seed, it intrigeed you- but now you need its oxygen. and she needs it two. the person that said ';you had to date her first'; is wrong. heres what you need to do:


you need to watch the movie made of honor with Patric dempsy in it. at the end you should know that you are Tom and your Friend is hannah. (im not sure if here name was hanna....)





go out and get her!
It sounds like you love her more than anything in the world. ';I just know in my heart that I can, will, and would be happy to love and cherish her for the rest of my life.';- If she says no to this, she is completely insane. If any guy said something like this about me I would be the happiest person in the world. I say go for it. You love her more than anything, and if your feelings are really that strong, the relationship will last through the long distance. It seems like you two know each other better than most couples in a ';romantic relationship';, so don't let the labels stop you! Good Luck!
If your only question is, ';can I propose to a friend?';, the answer would be: Of course you can.


How were you ';forced to move away';?





I do think you assume too much. You say ';she knows I love her, she know I'm crazy in love with her'; How do you know she knows? Unless you have told her specifically, I love you. I'm crazy in love with you, you can't be sure she knows it. Why don't you ask her out first? You seem quick to ask her to marry you without even dating. Lots of people regulary exchange ';I love yous';, but that doesn't mean they are IN love with you. How do you believe she has romantic feelings for you? How has she shown you this? You are assuming too much. If you are far from her, then you will have to settle with being friends. You're right long distance relationships won't work. Why bother? You want somebody in your life, not miles away.





If you ever move closer to her or she to you, then you should start by dating her. That way, aside from all your insight about what she knows and what she feels, you can truly be sure if you and she will be right for you and you for her.
yes you seem like you guys are madly in love take a chance she probably will say yes
Quit being a sap. Life is not an 80麓s movie. If you want to get it over with and get hurt then go ahead and live out your fantasy in how you麓re going to show up with a radio over your head and then ... happily ever after. You are her friend, ie; her ';male-girlfriend';, now and forever, period.


You're in a different city, so put your A-game on, get out there and find a woman that麓s going to want you as man, lover, and husband. She is out there, find her, find each other.


FYI: this is not the first ';I麓m in love with my female friend'; question I麓ve answered. It is common to fall for a woman that understands you, but friends in a woman麓s eyes is always going to be friends, it is just the way life works. After all, [they] invented the term BFF.