Can someone please read this and.. evaluate it? like just tell me your thoughts on it.. any advice as well..?

ok. so i dont know what to do. so let me just start and yeah then can you tell me what u think about it or whatever. oh and its kinda long so if u want u can turn back now..



so just a lil bit of back ground. (to protect confidentiality and such.. ima go by letters for names. so we have l (girl) a (boy) j (boy) c(boy) and me (me.) lol.) so the five of us met over the summer online.. yes please dont prejudge i said online just go with the story, please. anyways we met online during the summer and we all grew very close to eachother. to the point where we talked online every night and we just did whatever. you know talked about anything, unleashed if we need to. well c and l were dating. which was cool, that was how c got into our group. me and a sorta had a thing, but j always had a thing for me. he would pm (private im - just in case) and tell me how i was just an awesome person and he liked me so much yada yada yada. well i always kinda kept tellin him you know i dont really know him as much as id like to and so idk if we should take it further. u know. stuff like that. lol so anyways yeah we talked (as a group) just about every night. it became a ritual. lol well towards the end of the summer, we kinda had to split up, in a sense. i could no longer get on because i had school starting. a moved back home, to where he didnt have internet. j started a new job, so he could never be on. and so yeah we kinda stopped talkin for awhile.



so lets fast forward to these days. well a couple weeks ago j has been talkin to me more and begging me to call him and talk to him and stuff because he wanted to get to know me more and missed me and stuff like that. well i have a bf so i told him that you know and that i couldnt talk to him because of that. you know so yeah. so we have been talkin for the last couple of weeks and stuff.. well on like friday i was talking to c, who mind u i had not talked to since of the end of the summer, and he was like so did u hear bout me and l? i was like no.. what happened? he was like we broke up. i was sick of her drama . . . and it was so i could be with you. i was just kinda like oh. lol and he was all like yup. so thats kinda the end of that situation.



well then, last night j imd me and said hey guess what?! remember l? i was like yeah of course. then he was like well were goin out now. i was of course completely flabbergasted and didnt know what to say. and i said to him really? thats hard to beleive. and he was like y? me: idk just kinda hard to think of you two together. considering when u told me u didnt really like her.. (and yeah he told me that over the summer, whether he was lying i truly dont think so.) and he was like oh well thats the past ppl change. im just like ok.



so then he kept buggin me bout calling him last night to get my thoughts on it. he kept saying well youre a good friend of mine. and you also know l and c so i wanna hear what u have to say about it.. to which finally i was just like ok. whatever.



so on the phone last night - we spent like 2 hours on the phone. and he mostly just talked and i mostly just listened. he kept tellin me that hes never been this happy before and how he loves her and yada yada yada. which is cool i told him that if thats the truth im happy for him and thats awesome. but he also said that he missed talkin to me and that i was the one person who was always there when he needed to just talk. which is quite true.



so after the phone call and all day today i have noticed how much i miss him. just getting to talk to him and stuff.. i really really miss that. idk why but i do. but im really happy with by bf and i dont want to do anything stupid like breakin up with him in hopes of getting with j.. another thing is i think im realizing now what i turned down and am mad at myself for that.



so yeah idk any advice for me? i know its long and im really really sorry but i dont know what to do.. i honestly feel like im at a stand still.. i dont know i need help.. and i need help from others that are in the outside world looking in. and i also just want to be happy for em but for some reason its hard..



thank you so much.Can someone please read this and.. evaluate it? like just tell me your thoughts on it.. any advice as well..?
First off, how many of these internet friends have you met in real life? Are you all from the same area where you can physically meet up, or have your only interactions been electronic ones? The ones who are dating, are they dating in real life or online?



If I were to assume that you all only know each other on the internet, not real life, I would say that no 'cyber-relationship' can be as good or healthy as an actual one. It's OK to meet some people online and get to know them a little, but nothing can replace face-to-face communication.



I would say that you should do what feels right to you. You might screw it up, and it's almost guaranteed that not everyone involved will walk away happy, but that's how you learn and grow in life. No message board or internet post (including this one) can tell you what the right thing to do is. You're just gonna have to figure it out on your own.





P.S. - Just a little constructive criticism: It's best to not write the same way that you talk. No one uses perfect English when they speak, but when you write you should try to use the best grammar you can. (i.e. not so many interjections 'like', 'so yeah', etc). I know this is just an internet post and if you had to write a paper for school you would do it much differently, but try not to get in the habit of 'internet writing'. -Just my opinion on the matter. No offense intended.