I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.
As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.
So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that?
Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at. Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.
Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.';Running away'; at 19...?
It's not running away. It's moving out. You're 19. Time to act like it.';Running away'; at 19...?
Wow you know at first i was like this just more drama... But it sounds like you have thought of a lot of different things. Just remember that you need to be true to yourself and once you move out there maybe no going back. It doesn't like you want too but life can be funny and it could happen so it always best to try and do things where you don't step all over peoples feelings. I think you are smart not to take car or phone if you don't want to be contacted just be safe there are a lot of weirdos out and people who will act like your friend when they are not. Yes 19 is a legal adult but it is still also very young GOOD LUCK.
Does someone want some attention?
I do not see anything wrong with moving out on your own at 19, as long as you are able to support yourself.
I don't really understand why you have to sneak out, either. Why not move out openly? If you are afraid that your parents will make a big scene and drama about it, maybe you are right. I understand, from what you said, that they will not agree with it. But you are an adult, you want to live as an adult, and normally the adult thing to do would be to tell them calmly that you are moving out, that you will keep in touch, but for now you are not giving them your address.
Still, it's up to you; use your own judgment.
Writing them a letter sounds like a good idea; just don't write anything that you will regret later. They can read and re-read it, and be able to calm down and understand it better.
Take good care of yourself now!
I agree with First Dragon, why do you feel the need to sneak out?
Be the adult that you say you are and tell them. They and you deserve no less.
While your plan may seem good to you, it might cause some resentment and animosity you could
live without and might cause you to later regret having left in that manner.
By all means leave if that is what you want, just do it with integrity for yourself and consideration for your parents.
Well I won't preach to you about staying at home...you're an adult and may do as you please. But detailed as your letter was, some parts of your plan still sound a bit vague....
for starters, you mentioned that you've planned to move in with other people - but who exactly is that? I got the impression you're going to move in with your bf - be careful here, sometimes relationships (particularly the ones that haven't been tried and tested) can get strained easily and if you move in with this guy, you MIGHT uncover a whole new set of problems. for example; if you decided to break up and go separate ways, who gets to keep the apartment/house, who has to move out, who will help pay rent and bills once the other person is gone? - You need to really consider, is this person reliable in the long term?
You also mentioned you have a job that pays well, I think that's a really awesome start. But what does pays well mean? Have you sat down and calculated all your living expenses? Do you have an emergency fund set up should you fall on hard times?
You also need to have Plan B set up, what do you do if the worst happens? if you lose your job or you for one reason or another get kicked out of the place you're staying at...if you find yourself stuck with no place to go you might have to drag your *** home to that judgmental mother of yours, and if she's tough and overbearing now...imagine what she'll be like after you disappeared in the night and left her a letter. If she's as tough as you say she is she might use the situation against you and enforce harsher rules for living under her roof.
Finally if you've stuck this letter out and considered everything, the only thing left to mention is that you were kind of vague about why you want to leave your home. It's great that you're not going to burn all your bridges but you haven't explained why you're leaving in the first place? I'm not telling you to stay at home but there might be some options you haven't considered yet. Maybe someone else can offer some outside perspective so you don't have to go to such extremes...
anyway, I wish you the best of luck with everything. Good luck with whatever you decide.
p.s. I wouldn't worry about your parents tracking you done with your social security number or anything, legally you're an adult and you can do what you want.
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