Someone please help me get my head on straight . ?

i need someone to help me get my head on straight :(



i've been dating the same guy for 3 years now .

i've loved him, hated him, ignored him , and completely shut him out of my life so many times that i couldnt even tell you exactly how many times if i tried to count.



something about him always pulls me back .

i don't know what it is . he is very very very jelous and because of that i have lost all my friends, and it makes it really hard to leave him because i really have NONE. since i have been with him , we've moved .. and i didnt make any effort to make new friends since i had him, and i knew making new friends would put conflict in our relationship. So now i am in this new place, well... i have been here for almost a year now . I am here now , and i have nobody but him . I work, come home and wait for him while he is out with HIS friends. (which he is allowed to have, because its ';different'; )

he has also cheated on me and that is REALLY hard to get over .

most of the time i pay for everything.

we have completely different outlooks on life, and its hard because i know my views arent wrong but i can't help but feel like he thinks they are. i want to be with someone whos as excited about life as i am , who knows you can achieve what you put your mind too... he is very much the opposite. he calculates our finances constantly and anytime we go to buy something he comments on how many hours of work it translates too.. these may be good qualities.. but its hard for me to live that way. I do drink sometimes, but only when there is a purpous, with him ... he is always smoking, and i can't stand it . and i feel like in the end , drugs and money are way more important to him that me or anyone else in his life.

When we are not together , my life feels like it has fallen apart , because i don't have those friends to hang out with, i am alone.. with noone to talk to . and he is full of friends, and is constantly out forgetting about me .... and it breaks my heart . it breaks my heart that i am alone thinking about him and that he is out without a thought of me going through his mind. he is always the one to come running back to me though . i didnt speak to him for a month , i changed my number , email and changed everything that he could contact me through but he found me and convinced me that he could not live without me any longer. i feel like our relationship is great as soon as we start it up again , but it falls apart quickly .

and its really not as simple as

';make new friends'; because i have TRIED.

its really not that simple .

i cant find places to meet new people, i feel like im stuck here.

and its not like im super ugly and nerdy , haha .. im really niceee and stuff :)

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=s2efs1%26amp;s=4

thats a picture of me .





please.

i dont know what to do .

im lost.



thanks.Someone please help me get my head on straight . ?
honestly if you have no kids no attachments i would leave him and not take him back... I have the same issue I have been with my guy for 6 years things started to go bad at about 2.5 years I lost all my firends just like you I had liek the EXACT samew situation, about 6 months lter I found out I was pregnant then I giot preg again after another 2.5 years and just ahd my other child.. now I feel like i am stuck here I feel like I am only here for the kids%26gt; we are getting married in 8 months, and when the times are good their alright but when their bad I hatre himn and want to leave!

so in my opinion I would leave now before you two have attachments, it will hurt for awhile but you will get over it soon enough and start enjoying life and make new friends!

Do what i didnt!Someone please help me get my head on straight . ?
he cheated move on women. Once a cheater always a cheater. Plus you sent and do what you do...think about all the time. either forgive and forget or dont. You pick, your cute you can find some thing else.
You need to dump this guy once and for all. It's like you've already given up on finding someone without even trying. WTF, did you think life, love and relationships were just going to be handed to you on a silver platter or what. Get rid of this guy and give yourself a chance at finding someone who loves you, instead of using you. Move to another town or even another state and put some distance between you both. As long as you keep giving in to this guy, your going to keep feeling the same about him. Stand up tall, brush yourself off and say hello world, here I come and go for it.
Ok i don't even need to finish reading all of this to see you are pretty much miserable with this guy, so why are you still with him?

So what if you're relationship feels great every time you start over, a real relationship should feel great everyday, if you truely love who you're with, you should be dying to see him everyday, not waiting at home while he's out with his friends,

so i say get rid of him, for good! It sounds like thats been hard for you, but dont give up, dont go running back to him this time, its not like you need him to keep you alive, there are thousands of other people like that in the world.

You need to leave, head in any direction your heart and mind takes you, except back to this guy.



Now as for making new friends, I know how hard it is, people these days are like losing their sense of socializing or something, but just get into an environment where you have to meet someone, if the person you meet isnt a great person just keep them as a friend you just talk to, dont totally shut them out (be freindly and you will make friends),

and if you meet someone great, talk with them when you feel you should and connect with them in any way, the start really hanging out with that person, and there is a new friend!