';Running away'; at 19...?

Alright so I realize that since I am over the legal age of 18, if I just left my house it would not be technically running away. But that's what I'm doing. I'll give you a little bit of information to fully understand so you're able to answer the question I'm going to ask though. So, let me say first that I am not leaving my parents house out of hate, anger, or anything cliche like that. My reason is that I just want to live my life the way I've always been wanting to. And that's very hard to do when you have one of the most judgmental people as your mom. I don't necessarily want to go and do bad things but just I guess not have to worry if what I am doing is going to be approved by her.



Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.



I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.



As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.



So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that?



Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.





Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.';Running away'; at 19...?
Since you are over 18 - do what ever you want with your life. Yes, they will be upset but I'm sure if you explain everything fully (in your letter to them) then they might calm down.

As far as them finding you.....that's up to them - if they really want to find you...they can.....';Running away'; at 19...?
You want to know if there is some way for your parents to find out where you are. Certainly there is. Unless you live off the grid, anyone can be found with sufficient effort. If you get married, there will be a record of the marriage license in the courthouse. If you have a job, there will be a record of the job. If you call friends, the friends will know. a determined investigator can find anyone. Whether they will be determined enough and willing to make the effort is quite another question. On the other hand, your unwillingness to leave except by sneaking out in the night is a strong indication that you lack the maturity to live on your own. Your need for approval of others will hold you back forever. Be an adult. Tell them you are leaving and will be in touch. After that, don't answer the phone if you don't want to talk. If you don't want to be with the parents, decline the invitations. In short, act like a grown up and people will treat you like a grown up. Act like a child (as you propose) and people will treat you as a child.
why dont you just tell them what you are doing and up and leave? they legally cannot stop you at all. so instead of going behind their back like you ARE a child.....do it up front in the open, you arent doing anything illegal by moving out. which is exactly what you are doing, you arent running away. you are legally an adult and can do whatever you want. other than your plan being stupid--which exactly what it is.....its flawless. even if you kept the car, the phone, the credit cards, they CANT STOP YOU once you realize that, youll know that this plan is stupid. just leave tell them you are leaving and leave. dont be childish about this. dont go behind their back, just tell them your plan and leave. they CANT STOP YOU OR DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!



im not telling you not to, but honesty is the best way to go with this.
If you were really adult enough to do this, you would do it like an adult. That means you'd leave in the day time, openly, and tell them to their faces why you are moving out. You wouldn't go scurrying around in the middle of the night behind their backs like a kid who is ';running away';.



You're an adult. If you want to live like one, act like one.



Richard
Honey, if you can't look your own parents in the eye and tell them what you want, what you're going to do, and that they can choke on it of they don't like it, the real world is gonna eat you alive. There are a heck of a lot scarier people out here than your mommy and daddy.



Best to stay home, where you're at least physically safe, until you're emotionally able to tackle the world.