Leaving my parents house at 19, important question?

Alright so I realize that since I am over the legal age of 18, if I just left my house it would not be technically running away. But that's what I'm doing. I'll give you a little bit of information to fully understand so you're able to answer the question I'm going to ask though. So, let me say first that I am not leaving my parents house out of hate, anger, or anything cliche like that. My reason is that I just want to live my life the way I've always been wanting to. And that's very hard to do when you have one of the most judgmental people as your mom. I don't necessarily want to go and do bad things but just I guess not have to worry if what I am doing is going to be approved by her.





Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.





I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.





As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.





So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that?





Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.








Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.Leaving my parents house at 19, important question?
I did not read all of your post. In the end, you are over 18 and want to move out. I don't care why you want to move out.





The only thing you need to understand, living on your own is great....but it's expensive. So you need to make sure you have a good job and make enough money to support yourself. You can call apartments in your area and get an idea of what a decent apartment costs. You will also have to pay for food, utilities, car repairs etc. So, talk to adult friends who live on their own. Get an idea of how much this stuff costs. Then make a budget. You can show them your budget and go over your research. And listen to what they say. They may actually bring up something you had not thought of. Then you can make a plan for that as well.





You will also need to pay deposits on an apartment and for utilities. So you need to have a couple thousand saved up.





If you want to declare yourself an adult and get married and move out of your parents house - then do it. But do it the way an adult would. Kids come up with dumb ideas like sneaking out in the middle of the night and leaving a note.





So...get a job, save up your money, develop a realistic plan and budget. Then sit down with one or both of your parents. If you think Dad is the more understanding of the two...then just sit down with him. Explain to them that you are legally an adult and you'd like to move out and try living on your own. You would like their support and guidance in this process.





If you want to move out and get married...that's your choice. I hope it works out for you. Buy moving out and getting married you are saying ';I'm an adult'; ...so at least act like an adult and handle the process the way an adult would. Not sneaking out like a stupid kid.Leaving my parents house at 19, important question?
They might be able to if your friends know where you're going and spill the beans. Otherwise, they probably will need to hire a private investigator.





I hope someday your relationship with them improves, and I hope all of the changes you're making work out well.
Seems like you're being a little dramatic about all of this. If you've got it all figured out, why not just move out and say ';hey, I'm moving out?'; You're an adult, it's really not that big of a deal. I don't get the whole letter thing, or why you don't want them to find you. It seems pretty selfish. If you want to move out, just get a job, get an apartment, save a little money and go. Big deal. People do it all the time. I moved out of my parent's house when I went to college. After I graduated, I lived on my own, got a job, then went to law school. I see my parents all the time, it's no big deal.





I'm not saying you shouldn't do it- I live on my own and love it, but I just don't see the point in sneaking out or keeping it a big secret. If you're financially independent, just move out.





Also, if anything you're taking out of your room belongs to your parents, it's theft. If not, I don't see anything illegal about it. It's just moving out- most people do it at some point, that's called growing up- it's just not that big of a deal.
They may have ways of finding you ...what your doing is immature and juvenile...think it over and talk to them..instead of running away like a thief ,,,talk to and confront your parents and tell them what your doing...you may find that you will get more out of it that way and have a safety net should problems occur....dont bite your nose off to spite your face...as although she may be critical sounds like they do love you...I am not saying dont do it...I am saying leave the door open behind you so you can say I am sorry to them if it does not work and you need them...and who knows..you may get the car and phone to save you money...sounds like they would give them to you...
If you were really adult enough to do this, you would do it like an adult. That means you'd leave in the day time, openly, and tell them to their faces why you are moving out. You wouldn't go scurrying around in the middle of the night behind their backs like a kid who is ';running away';.





You're an adult. If you want to live like one, act like one.





Richard