';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?

Alright so I realize that since I am over the legal age of 18, if I just left my house it would not be technically running away. But that's what I'm doing. I'll give you a little bit of information to fully understand so you're able to answer the question I'm going to ask though. So, let me say first that I am not leaving my parents house out of hate, anger, or anything cliche like that. My reason is that I just want to live my life the way I've always been wanting to. And that's very hard to do when you have one of the most judgmental people as your mom. I don't necessarily want to go and do bad things but just I guess not have to worry if what I am doing is going to be approved by her.



Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.



I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.



As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.



So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that? And if they do hire a private investigator, will they have to tell my parents where I am if they find where I am?



Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at or where I work. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.





Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?
I think so since you are they're child, but then again you are over 18 so I THINK you have the right to choose if you want to let your parents know where you are or not.. not sure at all.';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?
I think your plan is pretty good but I feel sorry for you that you had to go to those lengths just to move out. I guess you have weighed everything up and feel that this is for the best. Maybe it would be better if you didn't make such a big deal about it - toned things down a little. I'm only in my 20's and my mother passed a year ago and let me tell you it is a sad and lonely life without your mother in it. Anyway, you have stated that you earn plenty of money and are educated so I'm sure you will make the right decision without my input.
even if you do get married and change your name, its still possible for your parents to find you. although probably not on their own. but even if they do find you, they cant make you move back with them because your 19.

and if you do go through with this you should pack most your stuff up before you leave because it took a couple of days for my sister to move out, tho i'm guessing your leaving most things behind.
As a strategist I do not know what to say.



You have prepared for the worst and expected the best...



Your parents can find you with your SSN and a Private Eye, your parents can also find you with a multitude of other programs I cannot remember off the top of my head. Your age being ';legal'; only really means in the law you don't have to tell your parents anything unless you are sentenced to court (unlikely unless your parents are big jackasses) and that you can bed. Being 19 plays little significance in this scenario.



I will give you two pieces of advice.

First, and most importantly - remember to tell your parents you love them in that long letter and that you will be contacting them soon. Your parents,believe it or not, love you and will probably be worried sick.



Second - be sure this is the right decision - I will not play into question morals or preaching, but be sure this is what you want to do, this is a ';no going back'; point. You can technically return to your parents but a lot of trust and bonds would be broken, so it is advisable that this is what you want to do.



I wish you good luck with your marriage and your life.
Wow that was a lot to read but I read it all. I noticed you said you HAVE a very good paying job and if your parents know where you work then it's not going to be that hard to find you even if you change your last name.Also you said you were going to call your parents a few days after you move out and try not to cut them out of your life. If you aren't going to cut them out of your life then don't worry about them finding you.If they hire a private investigator then the investigator is paid to find you and tell the people who are paying for them to tell where you are (that's their job). Remember you are 19 so you don't have to move back home or stay with them, no matter how hard they try to get you back you are an adult and you will be married soon and starting your own family. You also said they bought you a car, if it is under their name and they are making payments for it and your not helping to pay it off then they could take you to civil court and try to get the car back.