Leaving my parents house at 19, important question?

Alright so I realize that since I am over the legal age of 18, if I just left my house it would not be technically running away. But that's what I'm doing. I'll give you a little bit of information to fully understand so you're able to answer the question I'm going to ask though. So, let me say first that I am not leaving my parents house out of hate, anger, or anything cliche like that. My reason is that I just want to live my life the way I've always been wanting to. And that's very hard to do when you have one of the most judgmental people as your mom. I don't necessarily want to go and do bad things but just I guess not have to worry if what I am doing is going to be approved by her.





Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.





I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.





As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.





So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that?





Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.








Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.Leaving my parents house at 19, important question?
I am impressed how well thought-out your decision is, but my only question is why you would sneak out like that in the middle of the night. Why not just sit down and tell them, ';This is what I'm doing...';





And yes, if they look hard enough, they can find you. But you're the legal age now, so why are you worried so much? It's not like they can drag you home by your hair. You're an adult now.Leaving my parents house at 19, important question?
Yes, your parents can find you if they so choose. But they can't stop you from leaving, or force you into contact with them. It will be easier to find you if you're staying in the same town. That said, I have two suggestions for you. First, I didn't see if you had notified your various expenses about your change of address. Since you don't want your parents to find you, I figured you don't want to leave a forwarding address with them.





Secondly, while it will be uncomfortable, I think you should tell your parents face-to-face that you're moving out. You don't owe them a explanation why you're leaving, just that you are. As critical, and angry as you say your parents are, a letter would probably make their search for you more intense. Also, if they wake up while you and your fiance are moving your stuff out, there will be an even more awkward and heated confrontation than there would be if you told them to their face in the beginning. Plus, you can avoid upsetting your new neighbors by moving in in the middle of the night.Hope everything works out.
As far as leaving you are entitled to at the age of 19. If you get married you will need a birth certificate which your parents may have. At least you have tried talking to them.If anything untoward were to happen then you should at least have a close friend that can have your details and theirs.I am glad that you will maintain contact with your family at some point.
Why all the secrecy? Why not just sit down with your parents and tell them that you are moving out? My guess is they will be more hurt that you didn't feel like you could be honest, than by the fact that you are moving out. I mean, do you really think that you will be able to move all of your stuff out without one of them waking up? You've made up your mind to move out, so whatever they have to say won't change your mind, so why not be upfront about it? You don't have to invite discussion of the situation, just state it as a fact.


I don't think they will be able to find you unless you are on their insurance or they need to make some statement on their insurance. You will need to make sure to change your mailing address. The only way I can think that they might find you is if you give them a land line phone number and they reverse trace it.
Of course they can find you where ever you go through your SS number however I'd better warn you, if your parents paid for anything that you decide to take with you, they CAN sue you. So if you didn't pay for your bed or dresser etc and you think you're going to take them...think again. Also you'd better have that great paying job before you leave, because once you move out your parents will no longer be responsible for your financially support. Once you are out that door you will no longer be covered under your parent's health insurance, if you don't already have your own and you need to see a doctor you will have to pay up front just for the office call, if you need xrays or blood tests those will be more and you will have to pay for them before they do them as well. (a doctor visit can range from $50 to $150 depending on the doctor's rate, blood tests can cost up to $300 and xrays can go from $200 to over $1,000.00) hospital bills are much worse. Hopefully you'll have that good job or your boyfriend will be willing to support you