';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?

Alright so I realize that since I am over the legal age of 18, if I just left my house it would not be technically running away. But that's what I'm doing. I'll give you a little bit of information to fully understand so you're able to answer the question I'm going to ask though. So, let me say first that I am not leaving my parents house out of hate, anger, or anything cliche like that. My reason is that I just want to live my life the way I've always been wanting to. And that's very hard to do when you have one of the most judgmental people as your mom. I don't necessarily want to go and do bad things but just I guess not have to worry if what I am doing is going to be approved by her.





Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.





I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.





As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.





So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that? And if they do hire a private investigator, will they have to tell my parents where I am if they find where I am?





Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at or where I work. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.








Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?
Wow that was a lot to read but I read it all. I noticed you said you HAVE a very good paying job and if your parents know where you work then it's not going to be that hard to find you even if you change your last name.Also you said you were going to call your parents a few days after you move out and try not to cut them out of your life. If you aren't going to cut them out of your life then don't worry about them finding you.If they hire a private investigator then the investigator is paid to find you and tell the people who are paying for them to tell where you are (that's their job). Remember you are 19 so you don't have to move back home or stay with them, no matter how hard they try to get you back you are an adult and you will be married soon and starting your own family. You also said they bought you a car, if it is under their name and they are making payments for it and your not helping to pay it off then they could take you to civil court and try to get the car back.';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?
you make love 6-7 times a night and it is extremely great. Well done.
Since you are of legal age, no one can force you to tell your parents where you are or what you are doing, and they cannot access private information about you either. Now if they want to hire a private investigator there's nothing legally to stop them from doing that.





I moved out of my house when I was 18 and it was one of the best things I ever did. I don't think you should get married at such a young age though but that's up to you, only you can know whether or not you are ready.
this is the dumbest post i have heard all night, tied with some kid asking about bra fitting because he has man boobies.... listen your 18!!! that means u can do whatever u want WITHOUT your parents. just move out find a place... unless your parents are crazy then i guess ur out of luck. i think your making a big mistake of getting married. if u really want to start your life, how about u break up with ur bf and start fresh because getting married is how u pretty much end ur life lol
To answer your question, ';No';.





You should be able to disappear.





Now for my opinion; Running away solves nothing. Just puts it on delay. And wait till you find out how hard it is to live with someone of the opposite sex, whilst maintaining a healthy relationship. Trust me, it's easier at your moms, with occasional visits to the boyfriend.





Really, the whole run away from scenario is so played out.
The used to call this 'eloping'. It used to be fairly common. 8^)





At 19 you do have the right to move out, and to marry whoever you want, or even not to marry him. You don't have to tell your parents where you are, you don't have to associate with them or even talk to them. But you should! You should tell them you're leaving, and where you are going. What are they going to do, lock you up?





Don't doubt that they can find you. They can hire a private investigator, and of course he'll tell them whatever he learns. He works for them! That's why they hired him! It's not that hard to find someone. There won't be a lot they can do (at least legally), but they can hassle you and make trouble for you.





But you have to live your own life. Even if you look back on it as a mistake, you have to make your own mistakes. We learn from mistakes. I wouldn't tell you not to do it. But I'd tell your parents. They might not be the best parents, but obviously they care about you, and I think they have the right to know.
Well.. All i can say is you've thought of everything from your angle.


I don't see any flaws in your plan but just take a moment and put yourself in your parents angle or parents point of view. See things they do and how they will feel.


If all feels right and ok. Go ahead.


To me, you seem mature and determined. I wish you all the best in the future.


Good luck!
you are 19. that plan is silly. why do you not want them to find you? you aren't a child and no one can't make you go back. you don't have to go to such extreme measures. just leave for a few days. they might talk then. if not, just be honest and get your stuff. act like an adult. it's rough out there.
Only thing I can say is that I'd be more honest with my parents. I'd say';I'm not happy here and you aren't helping my situation. Thank you for putting a good head on my shoulders and I'll talk to you whenever I see you';. Walk out the door the end of the driveway(or if you really don't have a drive tell him to park a block over so they don't see the color or license plate).





Something that I've learned about my parents is that they only want the best for me, but they raised me to make those decisions. So once I was eighteen I became an adult to them. Your parents might just be psycho's who aren't fit to raise you anymore. Either way I wish you luck in life. May you be successful in all you do.
Everything seems fine, but you know they can not do anything about you leaving. you could tell them that to their face. they cant do anything, any person in this world can find whom ever they want with out going to the cops or whoever. And yeah don't take anything of theirs if they are the type of parents that will press charges. Um but I also wouldn't do it in secret personally. Or NOT call my parents. That's just a little wrong. You don't have to tell them where your at but call that day. Its wrong to get the point across like that.