Is it realistic for me to try to move back to London now?

~ A request ~





please can people who're 21+ and living in the UK London area reply since you will have the appropriate know-how





Hi. I am 25 years old, female, a British Asian. Also, a side note, I am a visible Muslim. I know that shouldn't matter, but at the end of the day, when you see people staring at you on the bus, I know it does. I currently live abroad and have been for most of my life due to parents being divorced. I tried living in London in 2007 but because I was suffering from a major depressive episode after graduating from university, I couldn't look for a job or think of a course to take to train myself.





In the end, my father and I had a violent confrontation and I had to move here where my mother and her sister live, and I've lived since I was 9. I assumed that after treating it, my depression would lift permanently and I'd be ';normal'; - after three year I know now that's just unrealistic to think of. After reading about it a lot, apparently it's there for good. Yay for me.





But I haven't done anything in these three years. My mind was a fog till 3 months ago. I have a blank CV and since I want to live now and not die - or rather - just can't bring myself to OD again - I have to do something. I am scared to go outside here (in Pakistan) to commute to a job daily. Anyway I have no training for the jobs here.





I still want to become a counsellor in spite of everything. And the self help motivational books written by American authors like Wayne Dyer and Louise Hay I'm reading say you have to be willing to make a decision without knowing if it's the ';right'; one because there is no such thing. And mistakes will happen and I should learn from them. But I'm not to make the same mistake twice.








But their brand of ';go for it'; is really unrealistic for us ordinary people. You have to take it with a massive pinch of salt. I've been gullible enough to deal with situations thinking ';it'll turn out alright'; before.





So is moving BACK to London where I suffer from SAD and maybe bipolar as well as depression and have a nasty relationship with my father making the same mistake? Although I know I want to at least try to do this course. And my father is being laid off next April and money is very tight and the chances of my getting a job are very rare. I mean honestly, people who were perfectly excellent employees in jobs already are being laid off and it's really really bad and being on JSA isn't an option.





The fears of going out in this city in Pakistan are very real for me. Trouble is, I find London as scary. And it's expensive and socially isolating. The loneliness kills you - though I feel it wherever I am.





I keep going back to the idea that I must at least try to see if counselling is right for me to train in. It's just a three month course a taster course. I can't keep waiting ';till I'm better'; or ';till the economy improves'; or ';till i can have a good relationship with people'; (that's really nigh impossible)





And life here isn't great either. My relationship with my family is really very tense.





I know I have a tendency to run away.





But I have to make a life for myself in spite of all this stuff going on. I need to make a decision. Sincere, informed and inspired answers are welcomed. Thank you and have peace and love in your life.Is it realistic for me to try to move back to London now?
when you're recuperating from an illness, whether it's a physical or mental illness, you need to take ';baby'; steps ... don't try to do too much too soon ... self help motivational books are all well and good, but not if they're encouraging you to go too far too quickly ... I would say a massive move back to London, especially with all its negative feelings for you, might be a step too far at the moment ... try doing this a bit at a time, try doing a course or getting a job where you are first ... running away never solves anything, you just take your problems with you, try staying still for a bit and moving yourself on bit by bit





by the way, there are many ';visible'; Muslim women in London so you wouldn't be aloneIs it realistic for me to try to move back to London now?
From what you say, I don't think a move to London right now will help.
aww i feel bad for you. is there someone you can speak to in Pakistan about this? I don't know what the country is like so can't really pass judgment. i must admit i do get a bit tense if i see a dark, muslim man on the tube/bus but you cant really blame the public for this because of recent terrorist attacks. im not saying every muslim is like this - certainly not! but i for one feel a bit on edge. however, this is more men than women!


you should do what you feel most comfortable but i personally wouldn't return to london after reading what you have written. london can be, as you say, extremley lonely and isolating. also money will probably be a huge issue. why don't you try somewhere slightly cheaper like birmingham or manchester?


hey, wherever you go try and make an effort to meet new people from a variety of backrounds..maybe a book club or something :) there are many many decent/friendly/nice people in this world waiting to communicate/ meet with you.


as a conclusion, maybe you should check out living in a different uk city instead of london. whatever your decision have no fear and really try to make the most of what you have :)


i hope your depression lifts and you will be happy...your english is really good by the way so you must have the dedication to be succesful! good luck and remember to always be yourself and (it sounds really cheesy) but follow your dreams!!!!
Remember London is a very expensive city. Can you afford to live here? If you insist on being a ';visible'; Muslim then you will receive a few dirty looks from unpleasant people. It depends on how ';visible'; you mean. I genuinely advise you to wear western clothes in order to blend in.