';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?

Alright so I realize that since I am over the legal age of 18, if I just left my house it would not be technically running away. But that's what I'm doing. I'll give you a little bit of information to fully understand so you're able to answer the question I'm going to ask though. So, let me say first that I am not leaving my parents house out of hate, anger, or anything cliche like that. My reason is that I just want to live my life the way I've always been wanting to. And that's very hard to do when you have one of the most judgmental people as your mom. I don't necessarily want to go and do bad things but just I guess not have to worry if what I am doing is going to be approved by her.





Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.





I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.





As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.





So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that?





Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.








Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?
If I may offer a suggestion: don't wait ';a few days'; to let your parents know you are safe. Your parents are going to be absolutely devastated that you're missing, especially with no way of finding you. If you do decide to go ahead with this plan, please contact them the day they realize you've left. Otherwise they might resort to calling the police and issuing a ';missing persons'; report. Besides, the least you can do is put their minds at ease (even if only minimally).





I read your entire post because you remind me so much of myself when I was 19. I used to think I had all the answers, too. While I'd love to offer my opinion of you and the decision you're intending on making, you seem entirely too stubborn to accept any genuine advice. It's obvious why you feel so misunderstood by your parents.





Please seriously consider these questions as you make the decision to ';run away';...


What will you do if your plan doesn't materialize the way you think it will? What will happen if you can't get that well-paying job? Have you thought of what you'll do in the event that your living arrangement falls through? Is your boyfriend (excuse me--- soon-to-be-husband, lol) able to support you both if need be? If you hit rock bottom, are you willing to go back home to your parents, or are you so stubborn that you'll do absolutely anything to avoid relying on them again? Keep in mind that life has a way of throwing sh*t at you when you least expect it, and when it's the LAST thing you need.





No matter HOW sure you are RIGHT NOW that this is exactly what is right for you, there's an excellent chance that it's not. You and your boyfriend's relationship is still quite immature (no offense intended), despite your plans for marriage. The only reason a grown man would help you ';run away'; from your parents would be to rescue you from an abusive or dangerous environment (being that they bought you a car, I'm assuming this isn't the case). Not because of something as trivial as ';they yell at me and tell me I shouldn't get married at nineteen, etc.';.





The fact that you repeatedly asked people to refrain from lecturing you should be your biggest clue about this plan. You know you're about to make a slew of irresponsible decisions... you just don't want to hear it.





I do hope everything works out for you..... please remind your parents that you love them and appreciate them.';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?
I can understand your need to want to spread your wings and fly.


One flaw. and it is only one that you will have to deal with at some point in your future relationship with your parents. It is the way you are leaving, like a thief in the night, It will send the message to your parents that they are right,that you are immature, that you Yada,Yada ,Yada. Get the point? Yes, I know you do..


Your parents can not send the police to search for you and bring you back as you state you are over 18. They can track you by hiring a private Detective, or by paying a fee to do a back ground search on the internet, but any info will not show up for a while to come. , If you were to take the car they bought you ,and money is still owed on it ,if you were to make payment using snail mail and a return address ,the return address would be entered into the system for billing purposes.. By changing your last name it would make things much more difficult for your family to find you.. One thing they could try is to file a MISSING PERSONS report, but that can not be filed until you have been gone for 48hours.. I believe that the legal age is 18. in all 50states but check with your state just to make sure.


I will not say that the way you are leaving is good or mature but I can understand that it is important that you do it this way, I don't know why it is important that they not be able to find you ,what does come to mind is that there may be a chance that you are not 18yet and feel that if you say you are younger ,no one will give much in the way of an answer here. but this is your business ,I will tell you to check in with your parents fairly often so as to not worry them unnecessarily.. whatever has happened between you ,I hope with time and distance and communication that you will be able to forgive and to build a better relationship with understanding how people just are who they are and we do not have to accept things,but can change things,but only our own side of things..


You have thought long and hard on this and you seem to have covered all the bases,, so I think as long as you also send a letter or call your local Police Dept within the 48hrs to just inform them that you are well and safe,over 18 and are not in trouble,. but that you will not be returning,. I think that should do it.,., you could even have someone else just drop off a note to them or you can just call the non_emergency line,, Best of luck and be safe.. Congrats on your Elopement.
hahaha, thats awesome. im 19 and i pretty much did the same thing about 9 months ago. i left in the middle of the night and drove 1000 miles by myself to the city where my bf had just moved. i still talk to my family and theyre still pissed but theyre starting to accept it. good luck