Writing a book.... what do you think?

im writing a book. im only 14, so please don't be too critical. im going to post an excerpt, even though i know posting your stuff on the internet cant be guaranteed safe. but, like i said, im only 14, so its not that amazing. i doubt anyone would steel it.

by the way, don't try to understand whats going on. for some background info, basically, the main character lilah has been missing for about 5 hours, and the guy, alexander, finally finds her laying by her parents grave in the pouring rain. im not going to explain their relationship or the plot of the novel. just try to bare with me.



excerpt:



“You’re going to catch a cold, stupid.”

My eyes snapped open, startled.

But besides my rapid blinking, I did not stir.

All I could see was mud and grass, and I realized one side of my face was pressed forcefully into the wet ground. For a quick moment, I couldn’t see anything, for my sudden light source had disappeared, leaving behind blackness. I vaguely wondered what time it was and how long I had been asleep. Then I realized I didn’t care.

The light came back to my face and zigzagged down my body.

A flashlight, I registered. He had brought a flashlight.

Well, of course he did. How else was he supposed to find me in this darkness? I probably looked like some unearthed corpse.

Something soft and ragged fell on top of me. My body was soaked, a fact I was just beginning to grasp, and freezing cold. Under the covering, my arms were curled around my legs, my legs pressed firmly against my chest. My head remained exposed, tiny rain droplets splashing my face.

“You forgot your blanket.”

I didn’t move to wrap the blanket more around myself, and I didn’t speak to thank him. I just listened to the high pitched thrumming of raindrops against the lake’s surface, ignoring his remarks.

“Your welcome,” he scoffed.

I remained motionless.

It was quiet for a long moment.

“You dead?” he finally spoke.

He shined the light back on my face, and I closed my eyes. Partly because the brightness was blinding them, and partly because I didn’t want him to notice how red and soar they were.

I heard the sound of his footsteps come closer, and then a large plop as he dropped to the ground less than a meter away.

Something lightly touched my neck. It was so warm against my icy skin that I almost flinched away from it, even though the thought of moving a fraction of a centimeter was discomforting.

I froze. Alex’s finger traced up and down my neckline. At first I felt confusion as to why he was suddenly touching me, and then with slight stupidity realized he was feeling for a pulse.

My heart lurched. It was accelerating wildly by the second, each beat coming so quickly it took my breath away. I blushed so violently that I was suddenly afraid he was going to check my face to see if I had a fever. I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting back the sudden wave of shivers that crawled down my spine.

But my mourning had yet to be interrupted. I couldn’t feel any of the pleasure that went along with this feeling, as noted in the dozens of romance novels I had read. I mean, how could I feel such emotions at a time like this? I was inches away from my parents’ grave, on the anniversary of their death. The only feeling acclaimed from these past ten seconds was a mass of confusion that my mind refused to handle.

“Well, you’re definitely alive,” he murmured. I recognized the smile in his voice and felt my face become even hotter.

His hand glided up my jaw and rested on my cheek.

“But your skin is frozen. That blanket won’t do much with the condition your in.”

I couldn’t respond. My heart was dancing in my throat, and it took all my efforts to calm its pounding. Not that my effort had much effect. I was only relieved in the knowing that my skin was too cold and wet for him to feel the warmth it admitted underneath. But that would all change in a matter of minutes.Writing a book.... what do you think?
I really like your writing style, and I think that this is actually really good for a fourteen-year-old. I don't know anything else except for what's in the excerpt, but I do like what I know.Writing a book.... what do you think?
That is a very good start!! Ummm how much more have you written? I can see it as being a great short story from the excerpt but I would be definitely interested in the book! You have a talent, don't waste it :)
you're 14? really? wow. i really really like it. well done. seriously.
I LOVE that!!! that seems professional to me, because of all the detail and creativeness in words.I like writing, too, me and my buddies at school always make a bunch of stories like that together. haha. anyways that is really good and if you continue like that i can imagine it being published! :) good luck with the rest!