';Running away'; at 19...?

Alright so I realize that since I am over the legal age of 18, if I just left my house it would not be technically running away. But that's what I'm doing. I'll give you a little bit of information to fully understand so you're able to answer the question I'm going to ask though. So, let me say first that I am not leaving my parents house out of hate, anger, or anything cliche like that. My reason is that I just want to live my life the way I've always been wanting to. And that's very hard to do when you have one of the most judgmental people as your mom. I don't necessarily want to go and do bad things but just I guess not have to worry if what I am doing is going to be approved by her.



Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.



I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.



As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.



So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that?



Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.





Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.';Running away'; at 19...?
Way too long to read. People really need to learn to get to the point. You are over 18. You can move out anytime you want. Just pack your stuff and leave. Just remember much of what you consider ';your stuff'; is your parents stuff.';Running away'; at 19...?
If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one.



Adults do not sneak out of their home, disappear for a few days while their loved ones go crazy with worry and then contact their family like nothing happened.



If you want to move out, tell your parents and move your stuff out.



Don't act like a child and do it the way you want to. It's the equivalent of a 19 year old throwing a tantrum.
I agree... this is way too long.

If you have to go through all of this to figure out if you should move out of your parents' house, you're obviously too immature to make it on your own. I say man up, talk to your parents, and get out on your own like a normal adult.
You seem to have thought this through and I think your plan is a good one.



One thing I would suggest is that, if you can do it sincerely, you end your letter by saying, “I love you.” You might then add, “I just can’t live with you any more.” Do not put a “but” in there between the two sentences.



If someone wants to find you, they can. A PI could find you pretty easily. But what good does it do? When you talk to your parents in a few days and they ask where you are, tell them you will tell them at a later time.



I was lucky. I had two great parents and a brother and sister. But I had friends who didn’t have it so good. I don’t know what your situation is like from first-hand experience, but I know what’s it’s like from my observations.



If you like the car your parents bought for you, you might want to offer to pay them for it (the current fair market value). But that’s up to you.



BTW, you are right that you are not running away. You are just stepping out into a new life. You are lucky to have a good job and available opportunities.



Good luck.