Thursday, October 28, 2010

';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?

Alright so I realize that since I am over the legal age of 18, if I just left my house it would not be technically running away. But that's what I'm doing. I'll give you a little bit of information to fully understand so you're able to answer the question I'm going to ask though. So, let me say first that I am not leaving my parents house out of hate, anger, or anything cliche like that. My reason is that I just want to live my life the way I've always been wanting to. And that's very hard to do when you have one of the most judgmental people as your mom. I don't necessarily want to go and do bad things but just I guess not have to worry if what I am doing is going to be approved by her.





Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.





I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.





As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.





So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that? And if they do hire a private investigator, will they have to tell my parents where I am if they find where I am?





Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at or where I work. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.








Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?
Wow that was a lot to read but I read it all. I noticed you said you HAVE a very good paying job and if your parents know where you work then it's not going to be that hard to find you even if you change your last name.Also you said you were going to call your parents a few days after you move out and try not to cut them out of your life. If you aren't going to cut them out of your life then don't worry about them finding you.If they hire a private investigator then the investigator is paid to find you and tell the people who are paying for them to tell where you are (that's their job). Remember you are 19 so you don't have to move back home or stay with them, no matter how hard they try to get you back you are an adult and you will be married soon and starting your own family. You also said they bought you a car, if it is under their name and they are making payments for it and your not helping to pay it off then they could take you to civil court and try to get the car back.';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?
You don't sound mature enough to survive on your own, let alone get married. You are just a silly child.

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If you can financially support yourself and get through college or school, then yes you can 'move away' if your parents call the police they can't do anything about it.





Or just openly tell your parents you're gone maybe they'll even listen to you now, because i have a doubt that they actually care about you k.
You want to be happy?


You don't want to be found?


You want to prove to the world that you are your own boss and dont need anyone else?





Join the military!
I don't think a private investigator has that much liberty. Unless you're in a life and death situation, I don't think your parents will be able to find you from the formal channels. But good luck with your new life - you will be surprised - for the good and the bad.
I think if you want to go live like a grown up you need to be grown up enough to tell your parents, you are leaving, and go ahead and go, since you are old enough....without being sneaky like a teenager.
you seem very level headed and at 19 there is no reason that you shouldn't move out and begin your own life, why do you care what they say? i assume you are in the US so no, legally nobody can reveal where you are


i see no flaws in your plan expect for the way your parents will find out





if it were me i would move all of my things out ( just in case they would try to keep anything out of spite or hurt) then tell them as you leave
No, it sounds like your plan is really well thought out. They can't find you in anyway, don't worry. As for a private investigator, they would have to know a full name, I think. Since your name will be changed, it won't work.
I wish you luck and many blessings. I know how it is about not being able to talk, but i really don't see any flaw. Police can't get you and bring you back (esp if your are getting married) and if you say you will call and keep in touch i don't think they will go to the extreme and hire a PI. Maybe they will understand that you need to live your own life.
you sound like a little mexican pueblerina wanting to run away with the bandido. nineteen. wow.if you actually want to leave don't live with the boyfriend just yet. live alone because if for some reason your relationship fails. your screwed in every way possible. think about how your parents would take it if they hear that you left with your boyfriend. but have fun with your new adventure. starting your life does not count if you bring a boyfriend along. he's part of the old one.





the flaws: emotions, dealing with living together with a new person, they can probably call all the numbers you called on your old cell phone. using the bill.your parents calling all your close friends.


have fun

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