If you know your thoughts are irrational..?

If you know your thoughts are irrational and to anyone else they would seem crazy but you still believe them deep down in your heart does this mean you are still crazy? I know the things i think are crazy sometimes, surely if i was actually crazy i wouldnt think they were crazy? An example..



Since i was about 10 or 11 i have felt like spiders are more intellegent than anyone realises, appart from me, or that the spirits of bad people that have died can go into the bodys of spiders to taunt me. I am aware that this sounds crazy and have never told anyone i think this but it doesnt stop me believing it. I feel i have evidence that could prove that its not as insane as it first sounds but i cant show it to people because they only really show this intellegence to me when i am alone. I think the spirit/ghost of someone horrible that i know who died posseses them and he uses them to spoil my life or taunt me from beyond the grave. I am not the only one who has noticed that spiders sometimes behave oddly round me, my family often say things like, ';it always happens to you'; ';they seem to be attracted to you'; ';it had to happen to you'; when they fall off the roof and land on me or into food im eating or appear on me randomly or gravitate round a room so they are always coming towards me even when i move.Most people laugh when they say these things as if they think it is just bad luck but i cant help feeling like it is more. I have broken bones before when ive found one on me or ones fallen into the bath with me and ive totally flipped. I had a phobia for a long time about them getting into anything i was drinking that i couldnt see into, tea for example, and would drink out of cups for toddlers to prevent them from getting into my drinks (i know it sounds silly) when i got a little older a friend told me i was being silly and convinced me to stop using the cups and one day i actually drank a spider. I dont know how the spider got in my tea but i was drinking and spat something out and i knew before i saw it what it would be. I dont live in an untidy house, if anything i am extra clean and hate clutter cos they love to hide in clutter so that you almost touch them when you move stuff. I have also lived in more than one house and it has happened in them all. Sometimes i talk to spiders and have arguements with them where i tell them i know who they are and that i hate them and wish they would just leave me alone. Sometimes they actually seem to listen to me, they stop what they are doing and sometimes follow my instructions to turn around and leave the room. I never talk to them in front of people though because i am aware this would make me seem really insane. A part of me wants to think this is all in my head and that im imagining it because that would seem better than to think that someone evil could come back to haunt me but i really dont think i am that crazy. I feel like i can feel the evil emotions coming from spiders sometimes. especially when i am talking to a particularly nasty one. I will say things like ';just go away i hate you, if you come one step closer i swear to god i will squish you.'; and it will stop for a few seconds then almost skip towards me and i can feel that it would be laughing evily if it had the ability to do that other than with its mind, I sometimes shout at them to leave me alone and they sometimes scamper off like they are mocking me and then appear somewhere else later on or circle round behind furniture so that they can appear in my peripheral vision to make me jump.



What do you think does this make me crazy that i think these things even though i know its not the norm to think them?If you know your thoughts are irrational..?
Simply being aware of your own thoughts as being abnormal doesn't make you 'not crazy'. It seems like you have such an irrational fear of spiders that you attribute personalities to them. I think that your fear is driving you insane. You honestly should talk to someone, like a therapist about this. Just give it a go, talk to them, test the waters. They would be able to tell you what is going on better than anyone on the internet ever will. But like I said, simply being aware doesn't mean you're not having problems.If you know your thoughts are irrational..?
Of course spiders are intelligent, have you seen their awesome webs? Many cultures revere spiders, for example, the Japanese consider killing spiders to be bad luck.



I didn't really read the rest, it didn't seem like you were getting to a point.



There are two kinds of people in the world:

- People who are weird, but deny %26amp; hide it.

- People who are weird and like it.
I am a believer in ghost and spirits, particularly because of a nasty experience in my old home. I don't think your crazy, maybe just a little paranoid. Don't know how to help you with the spider problem, just a little support.



Maybe you could get an exorcist?