How do you find your sole mate i think after 14 yrs of knowing a person you should know by now well ! lets see

well we known each other for 14 yrs ,thats how old our son is also who was put up for adoption due to the farther was not ready but thats not why im asking the question we still remain in each others life off and on through out the yrs, always make plans to be there for each other ,now we are grown and still go throught the same stuff ,a few days ago we were about to move in together mind you that he have a good job take care fo all of my other kids but he cant seem to hold on to his own place, thats not a problem for me i have a house and know have keys to what suppose to be our new house i call him for the key so he can come and go as he please , all he got to say to me is baby i;ve been bunned up all weekend that mean laid up with a woman,so i never told him that what i was calling to tell him i just say he stuck his foot up his own a$$ i chuckaled a little but had to think is he really my sole mate maybe not ,when i was joking saying i may be pregnat i saw the same scared boy lolHow do you find your sole mate i think after 14 yrs of knowing a person you should know by now well ! lets see
I would say that if you enjoy the same here or there lifestyle as him that maybe you are soulmates. Or, it may be that the come and go is a convenience that you and he have established so that you don't ever have to move too far forward and can always land back in the past where things are not stable, but you have no risk because you know he will screw up, he will not take responsibility, and you do not expect to be loved and cherished. Sometimes that is easier than putting yourself forward in a new and different relationship where you are in the unknown. You don't know if this new man is reliable, responsible or if his feelings are genuine, if he will cheat or leave you high and dry. These fears can be enormous in the beginning of a relationship and while it is growing. They ease with love and care shown towards you into certainty if always you are fair but don't compromise on how you are being respected or treated. You first have to know how you would like to be treated and what you will and will not tolerate in a mate. This way you don't start out with someone who is in no way right for you.



I hope that your fella is using condoms, I would be concerned about his bunning up... and what consequences it could bring into your future.



It sounds to me that you have been responsible and have taken care of you and your children, and unless he is all that you could hope for, then I wish and hope much, much more care and respect for you. I say go for better.... trade him in and find a deluxe model soul mate ... All the best to you...