Damn bank account joke and others hope u like.?

A crusty looking old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, ';I want to open a damn checking account.';

To which the astonished woman replies, ';I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?';

';Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account right now!';

';I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank.';

With that the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her situation. The both return and the manager asks the old geezer, ';What seems to be the problem here?';

';There's no damn problem';, the man says, ';I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!';

';I see';, says the manager, ';and this ***** is giving you a hard time?';









Word Perfect Helpline



This is a apparently true story form the Word Perfect Helpline:-

Needless to say the helpdesk employee was fired; however, he/she is apparently suing the Word Perfect Organisation for :Termination without cause!!



(o=helpdesk operator; c=client)

o: Ridge Hall computer assistant, may I help you?

c: Yes, well, I鈥檓 having trouble with Wordperfect

o: What sort of trouble?

c: Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words just went away.

o: Went away?

c: They disappeared.

o: Hmm, so what does your screen look like now?

c: Nothing

o: Nothing?

c: Its blank, and it won鈥檛 accept anything when I type.

o: Are you still in wordperfect or did you get out?

c: How do I tell

o: Can you see the C prompt on the screen?

c: What is a sea-prompt?

o: Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?

c: There isn鈥檛 any cursor, I told you, it won鈥檛 accept anything I type.

o: Does your monitor have a power indicator?

c: What is a monitor?

o: The thing with the screen on that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it on?

c: I don鈥檛 know

o: Well, look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it, can you see that?

c: Yes I think so

o: Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if its plugged into the wall.

c: ..........Yes it is

o: When you were behind the monitor did you notice there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?

c: No

o: Well, there are. I need you to look back there agaian and find the other cable

c: ..........Okay here it is

o: Follow it for me, and tell me if its plugged securely into the back of your computer.

c: I cant reach

o: Uh huh. Well can you see if it is?

c: No

o: Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?

c: Oh its not because I dont have the rihgt angle - its because its dark

o: Dark?

c: Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window

o: Well turn the office light on then

c: I can鈥檛

o: No? Why not?

c: Because there is a power outage

o: A power ... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we鈥檝e got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?

c: Well, yes. I keep them in the closet

o: Good. Go get them, unplug your machine and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you got it from

c: Really, is it that bad

o: Yes, Im afraid it is

c: Well alright then, I suppose. What do I tell them?

o: Tell them you are too ****ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!!!!Damn bank account joke and others hope u like.?
thanx so much u lightened up my dayDamn bank account joke and others hope u like.?
HAHA funny funny funny
That was a damn good joke !
ROFLMFAO ROFLMFAO ROFLMFAO THAT IS THE FUNNIEST **** IVE READ IN ABOUT 3 YEARS ........................................鈥?YOU GET A STAR
Thanks so much for the morning laugh, I needed it!

:)
lol