Read this and tell if you would read it or not?

ok now...this is a part of my friends book. I read it and thought it was amazingly good! I wanna see how other people like it. *ps if anyone thinks its about vampires.. yah it has none in it... its about a girl who recieves these really cool powers. she feels so alone in the world and doesnt know how to use them. she messes things up sometimes because she doesnt know how to control them. A week later after she recieves them, a new boy comes along and she meets him. he has the same powers as her and he helps her get control of them. way down along the line, theres a ';so called bad guy'; who comes and everytime the girl is near him, she looses her powers. when he finally kidnapps her, she cant do anything to save herself. Theres alot more to it then that but heres a segment from it:



Intro-

I’ve never believe in witches, vampires, magical powers, and all of the rest. I just knew it was physically impossible for someone to cast a spell, move stuff with there mind, or people drinking blood and lying in coffins. Even when I was a kid I knew none of them were real. Well…at least I thought they were until it happened.



Paragraphs-

I started to hear breathing, heavy breathing. It wasn’t only mine. It was off key with mine.

I ran as fast as I could. As I though I would, I fell. Im so klutzy and whatever was after me would probably get me, and kill me. I heard its footsteps coming closer and closer. I tried to scream for help but it was no use. I closed my eyes as I heard the persons breathing right next to me. “Hello” The deep voice said. I spoke very low, “hi.” I looked up at the man. He was tall, thin, and had many scars. I gulped so loud he probably heard it. His eyes were deep purple and they had a red tint. My heart was beating so fast I was sure I would have a heat attack. I wasn’t to far from cliff. It was still very clear in site. I slowly got up from the forest floor. The man grabbed my wrist and pulled me up faster. I was shocked. I brushed the dirt off of me as I carefully watched his movements. He was in front of me now, my back facing the lake.

He was coming closer to me and I was walking backwards taking large steps. He grabbed my wrists. I screamed. “Let me go now! Get your hands off of me.” I yelled. He pulled me to the cliff. We were at the edge of the cliff. He let go. My wrists were swollen and red. My toes were hanging off the edge. He put his hand out and the water started to bubble and make huge waves. My jaw dropped and my eyes were wide. My whole body tensed and he laughed at my shock. He spun me around, now I was facing him. I was guessing he wanted to see my expression. “Good luck Bri.” He said in an evil tone and I was shocked he knew my name. I didn’t have anything on that said my name. No necklace, bracelet absolutely nothing. He started chanting words that I couldn’t understand; he was saying them too fast. After a few sentences he grabbed me tight and pushed me off the cliff.

I screamed at the top of my lungs and in seconds I went into the wavy mysterious river with a huge splash. The river was much deeper than it looked from above. I was 11 feet under; dark water surrounded me. The only trace of light was at the surface. I barely could see the man who pushed me off. I tried with all the energy I had left to swim to the top. I couldn’t. The waves and everything was pulling me under. The only choice was to drown.Read this and tell if you would read it or not?
ahmayzing!!!!!!!!!!!!! wen this book gets publishd pleeease tell meeeee!!!!!!!!!! OHMYGOD where is the rest!!!!!!!!?????????!!!!!!! LOL

im sure th@ in reviews it'll get lots of if u luv twilight ull luv this SOOO th@s really good, its gt potential 2 b a bst seller LOLRead this and tell if you would read it or not?
yes it was very good, you have good potential for an author
no. it's twilight inspired gibberish. vampires or not...
I like it! Your friend has potential to be a good writer. Tell her to try not to use '; I '; so much because it starts to sound a bit repetative.



Happy Writing!
i think its a bit too descriptive but thats really good, keep it up, i hope to read this when you become famous
yes it is good i would consider Reading it.
sounds very fan-ficy/ written by a highschool girl
Tell your friend that she is fantatsic. Really good. I would certainly read it
I would. It does sound kinda like Twilight, but I think it's good.
now what is that mysterious person??

vampire??

all you people take the idea of twilight.

try to be

umm...whats the word??

Oh i remember.

ORGINAL.
I didn't read the whole thing...



BUT I kind of think its about vampires... Yeah already getting that vampire vibe...



There are already vampire books, any OTHER book about vampires with a writing style that is not above the 4th grade level will be deemed fan fiction for the twilight novels... The disgraces that they are..



PEOPLE USED TO READ REAL BOOKS!!! REAL BOOKS!! AND NOW THIS!!!!
No. It reads very immaturely. ';I'm so klutzy and whatever was after me would probably get me, and kill me.';



It's too... Jump right into it with no background.
OMG its soo totally interesting! i would really want to read the finished book! keep up the good work =D
It's a good story line, it's interesting with a lot of potencial, the only improvment I can think of is the language seems a little... newbie you know? but nothing an editor can't fix :P



Well done to your friend from me ; )



Also, it does seem a LOT like twilight - twilight inspired...



Even though people think it's rubbish, I just wanna say twilight obsessed fans like me love it :P



And there are a LOT of them : )



It'll sell well...
She didn't write that retard. Sounds good though.
I counted 4 or maybe 5 paragraphs. Not enough for a book. Pretty good writing for a high school kid. but the end ';The only choice was to drown?'; Sorry, but that is not a very good ending. Or did I miss something and that is not all of the book?
You know, I have a very hard time reading something written by someone who doesn't know the difference between THERE, THEIR AND THEY'RE.



Not to mention (but I will, anyway): YOUR and YOU'RE, ITS and IT'S, among others.
Read this and tell if you would read it or not? Hmmmmm?

I suppose if I had read it then by definition I would but since I didn't read it I have proved that I wouldn't so therefore not. I think....

OK my head hurts now I'm going to lie down.