Have you had to deal with one of your kids choice of girlfriend/boyfriend?

My son WAS engaged to this girl but not any longer.Apparently she had some friends over to their place when he wasn't there and a friend of a friend had stolen some of my sons valuables. My son asked her to please not keep company with them because they were drug users. She disregarded his wishes and had them over again and then the theft happened.

To make a long story short, my son called the police and his fiance flipped out. She was angry. This confused my son, until she blurts out to the police ';Some of your stuff is in my car!...'; At first she acted as though she knew nothing then she proceeds to tell the police that times are hard and her friends needed the money. Being drug users we knew where the money was going. She wouldn't write a statement that those people took my sons things. Oddly, she defended them. My son was hurt and told her that if she found it more important to cover for these losers then she didn't care about him. She didn't budge.

Since then she has gone to court and plead innocent to charges of receiving stolen property- for the things that were sitting in her car. She is stubborn and won't admit she was wrong to do this to him. They had moved out of the place they had together and now a couple months later and not really talking he is trying to reconnect with her. She has always treated him badly. None of the family thought she acted like she was in love with him and she constantly argued very loudly in my home with no regard for others. This girl is one that is trouble. None of us know what he's sees in her. Yet my son expects me and the rest of the family to LOVE her and he is saying that we are responsible for sabotaging their relationship. We all mind our business and don't want to hear of this girl because when he talks about her he tries to paint this pretty picture of her and we just want nothing to do with this situation. Because I want my space and to be left in peace he has called me a phony, that I'm nice to her face but tell him I don't think she's for him when he talks about her. How can I get him to leave me out of this? If I have an opinion I should be entitled to it and not called a phony for my feelings.Have you had to deal with one of your kids choice of girlfriend/boyfriend?
Wow, your son needs a huge reality check. I don't even know you or your son, and I already know that she is not right for him. First of all, if she really loved him, she should have respected his decision and his statement about not having those people over again. That's where she made the first mistake. Relationships are all about being honest and respecting the other person, and it seems it's lacking here. She seems a bit immature and I think your son can benefit more from another person.



This is going kind of outside the box...but are you religious? Is your son? If not, then I respect your decision.

If yes, then you should tell him to try and connect himself with the higher power (whatever it is that he or you might believe in) and seek answers through that. I personally am very religious and this has answered many of my burning questions and I have come to understand many things in my life because of this. But like I said, if you're not that into it or him, then I understand.



Moving on, he can't force or make the family LOVE her. Love cannot be taken away or forced upon. He should understand that as much as he thinks he 'loves' her, that that's how much his family doesn't love her. He can't expect to not change his feelings about her, and for all of the rest of the people to change.

You have to be honest. I cannot stress this enough; you have to go up to your son, I mean you're not intimidated by him I hope, I mean he's your son. Anyway, go up to him and be very honest, say, ';listen, you know I love you. You know that (insert family names here) loves you too. You have to understand that we are your family and we want the best for you. There will be no one else in the world that will love you more than your family. Everything I tell you about her, and my opinions of her, is me helping you out of my heart. Why would I want to harm you and ruin your relationship? You're my son! I just want you to respect the decision that I have made, and if you cannot respect that decision, then please leave me out of the situation. That's all that I ask of you. And in the long run, if you end up with her, and you have problems and something like this happens again, you're going to look back and realize that we were right. Maybe you will have a happy marriage for the rest of your life, who knows! But in the end, it's your decision, and it's your life, so don't say that I am controlling it or sabotaging it because you can make your own decisions, you're an adult. Just know that, whatever problems arise out of your situation with her, that it's your own fault because you decided to stay with her. Just don't put all the blame on your family because your family is not dating her, you are.';

Something along those lines you should say to him, if you agree with it, that is.



I hope that helped, have a wonderful day.Have you had to deal with one of your kids choice of girlfriend/boyfriend?
Your son is engaged in making his own bed. You need to let him lie in it.

You don't need to make derogatory remarks about his girlfriend but he needs to know she is not welcome in your home. You are entitled to your opinion but since your opinion is creating conflict between your son and you, you might try keeping it to yourself. You'll have enough to deal with just enforcing the ';no welcome'; concept. Outside of that, your son is an adult or soon will be. You can love him but you can't control him by voicing your opinion of who he can or should not date.r
u need 2 slap ur son in the face is he sum sort of mug she's stealing from him ur right in thinking that ur son is wrong and that she is bad news. How can your son expect u to show respect if she shows u or your family any. rob her things and say i wanted the money 4 my shopping or something then c how she reacts coz she did it 2 ur son. This is tuff love and if you don't do anything she will get your son doing bad things. there's a old saying ';Tell me your company and i'll tell you who you are';. If your son can't respect you 4 protecting his interests and future then he is very ignorant.