I need someone to help me guys.. I honestly beg of you. Today me and my mom had a BLOWOUT of a fight. It started over cigarette smoke, and how to dispose of used cooking oil (sad but true). About 2 3/4 months ago I quit smoking cigarettes (i'm 19) and about a month ago I started to smell that ';stinky funk'; smell everyone talks of with them, as a smoker I didnt realize how bad they stunk since I was so exposed to it. So I was asking my gram if she can ask my uncle + grandfather to not smoke in the kitchen anymore, due to the fact that when I wash clothes they come out REEKING like an ashtray, and also when I eat down there I choke. Everyone keeps calling me this hypocrite and I cant stand it! I understand its his house and all, but all I was asking is if he can go in the other room and smoke so its not as concentrated. So then my mom gets all in my face about it saying ';What in your right mind makes you think you have a right to tell the owner of this house not to smoke around you, especially from some 19 year old punk asking this'; so I defended saying I quit for my health, and im sick of smelling like it/eating around clouds of smoke (which I hated even when I smoked). So when that was done and over with, I told her to stop dumping used oil along my neighbors fence, because it was staining it. Again she freaked out. Then she started just going nuts about how I bark all these order when I am a no life with no job. Then I started calling her an idiot/freak/weirdo because of how psycho she gets when shes mad. I honestly want to die thats how bad I feel when we argue, I know arguing gets people nowhere. But she even takes it to the extent of saying she looks at me like im a puddle of puke and stuff, and it kills me inside. Saying I am just like my father, I make her sick, etc.. (they are split). I just dont know what to do, can somebody go through and touch on some things? Id really appreciate it. - David.My mom hates me, I want to move out?
Yeah sounds like you would be a lot better off on your own.
Get a job that makes at least three times your rent. You will be fine.
Good luck.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
I recently moved in with my boyfriend. How should we divide the bills?
Been with my bf for 6 months. He asked me to move in and when I did I offered to help with bills and he said ';don't worry about it.'; His divorce is almost final and he'll take away about 20k in debt. I have no debt, but I make 35k and he makes 150k. He doesn't know exactly how much I make and I'm an artist, so it's very up and down anyway. I have some family money in stocks and some other money saved and we agreed I will continue to save for a down payment on a house for us, which I believe was why he said not to worry about the bills. We talk about marriage and agree that once married his debt is mine and what I've saved will help pay the debt off. A few days ago he said we need to divide up the bills. He assures that nothing has changed and that it has nothing to do with his divorce. He claims he only suggested it because I offered to pay for his cell phone and a few other things...he said he thought me offering meant I wanted to divide things up. I feel like he's only saying this because I questioned why he changed his mind. Then he said to keep it easy I could just take a few utilities. I asked him to send me an email of his thoughts b/c this is my first time doing this and it's his 2nd. When I received his email it had the bills and rent broken down 50/50 at 1150 a person. A big jump from a few utilities. He's told me before that he paid every bill with his ex..before and after they were married and even though she made 75k (I don't know why he disclosed all of this information about his ex, but he did). They had separate accounts and she saved for retirement. It seems as though he gladly paid their living expenses, which is why I didn't think anything when he said I didn't have to pay. After reading his email we had a talk and I explained how it really bothered me that he said not to worry about it and then wanted to divide things up. After a long talk, he explained why he did this (as I explained above) and said we should keep things the way they've been.
I'm out of town, but when I get back I'm going to, by choice, take some utilities and set up some bill pays. I don't want to burden him or for him to resent me. I don't want things to be weird about money with us. Should I pay more, less, the $1150 he suggested?...Suggested AFTER I moved my stuff it..let me just say that again..ha ha..
Ok, that you so much for your help and responses.I recently moved in with my boyfriend. How should we divide the bills?
Just pay 50/50 like he said. You don't want to pay more then him and make him feel bad, but you don't want to pay less and make it seem like your not pulling your weight. So just split them down the middle like he said. And if you can't afford to do that, then just do the best you can.
I'm out of town, but when I get back I'm going to, by choice, take some utilities and set up some bill pays. I don't want to burden him or for him to resent me. I don't want things to be weird about money with us. Should I pay more, less, the $1150 he suggested?...Suggested AFTER I moved my stuff it..let me just say that again..ha ha..
Ok, that you so much for your help and responses.I recently moved in with my boyfriend. How should we divide the bills?
Just pay 50/50 like he said. You don't want to pay more then him and make him feel bad, but you don't want to pay less and make it seem like your not pulling your weight. So just split them down the middle like he said. And if you can't afford to do that, then just do the best you can.
Girls I really need advice what is going on in your minds?
Nothing compares to the pain when a girl wants to date me, we go on a date, I call her and then she never picks up or returns my call. Why? Both times I really cared for a girl, we go on the date the girl tells me about how busy she is then never talks with me again. I make her laugh, I don't call her a million times, I am friendly with her friends during class(I stopped talking with them after this happened so I wouldn't bother them), I don't try to move to fast, and I do everything the same as every other guy. People tell me I am attractive, so its not that (I even have a six pack). I play sports, I play the guitar (and write my own songs), I am smart (am school to become a doctor), I am not arrogant, and I make people laugh. Every girl rejects me. Only time girls do stuff with me is at club, but I want a girl want to be my girlfriend, not just have one night stands (I don't though, even though the girl did). I see girls that love their guys. What about them turns you on?Girls I really need advice what is going on in your minds?
It;s because she doesn't like you and is to much of a ***** to let you know by talking to you. She is worried you'll think she's mean if she tells you. So she thinks it's nicer by ignoring you. Plus they don't wanna waste their time.Girls I really need advice what is going on in your minds?
ok yep u definitely have a problemo
cute boys that are nice but dont talk to much
I personally like sweet, down-to-earth guys who make me laugh, from what you said it sounds like you maybe its that your meeting the wrong kinds of girls who are into the one-night stands
Well mayby they do all that cuz the may think u are .... UGLY ! Concider a makeover or ask them why , ( if u get the chance ) .
you seem like a very nice guy who is just choosing the wrong girls. if any girl would do that to you, they are not worth getting to know anyways!! they sound mean and shallow to not talk to you after a date. try getting to know girls who are sincerely nice and friendly.
anyone ansewer, pelase: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
Maybe these girls want to be just your friends. If you want a girlfriend, you need to somehow let the girl know you want to be more than friends.
Im sorry about your lost relationships but it's life. Many girl's don't like to get sophicated in a realationship and many girl's just like expand their horizons and many many girl's don't wany to get stuck b/c they may get heart broken and girl's are real easy to fall in love well good luck
Well all the things you listed of course.
If you're shy, it never helps. BELIEVE ME.
Plus, girls probably think you are a player.
And also, if you've had one night stands, you may have a reputation. Not good.
Try working on those things, possibly?
(:
I hope I help.
hi!
Maybe you just haven't found the right girl. Whatever is meant to be will be, so don't rush things or worry. You sound perfect, it's their loss, not yours.
Money.
Girls only react to money.
Wait until you are a doctor. You will get all the stuff you can stand.
Good Luck
When people don't call you back, it means they're not interested but are unable to be direct. So they were no good for you anyway; who wants a bad communicator?
Do activities where you'll meet quality girls (not at a club). What do you like to do? For example, if you like animals, you could volunteer at an animal shelter. If you like photography, join a photography club. check out something like meetup.com, which has activity groups for your area. If you go to church, go to their youth or singles club. From doing things you like, you'll find a girl you like. Good luck!
perhaps try dating nicer girls
it seems like the girls u have gone out w/ have all been terribly messed up
i mean where do u even find them
there seems to be nothing wrong with you
and i know it seems hard to believe that it is just them and not u because they have all been the same but it is indeed possible
Well I think they don't want to be the ones to look desperate by calling you back so fast, so they decide to let you do all the work. They're the type that want their guys to fight for them by being the ones to go out of their safety box, and making these huge gesters to show just how much you're willing to commit to them. They're playing hard 2 get %26amp; It's either they've watched too many chick flix, or they've just been hurt too many times, and want to be sure that they're ready when they settle down with someone new. These are definitely the girls that you're gonna have your work cut out with.....if you're willing, of course.
Apparently you are going for the wrong type of girls. You sound very nice, and these girls don't! if they can't even tell you that they don'tlike you, they don't deserve your love.
Someday i guarantee you that you will find the right girl for you. Until then, don't ask what turns girls on on internet sights - it's your life, no one knows anything about you, and someday someone will like you for you. Just be yourself!
(p.s. i like funny, sweet, moderately paced, at least pretty good looking guys.)
Good luck.
Sometimes its not you!!! Its just the fact that those girls A) either arent interested or B) Their just not the one for you!!! Keep being who you are dont change a thing you might not get a girlfriend right away but eventually their will be a girl who really deeply falls for you just the way you are and all your flaws are going to be what attracts her even more!!! Dont get discouraged because just a few girls dont call back. Keep talking to them. But heres another tip. Dont worry so much about doing things just the way other guys do them. It kind of sounds like you try to hard. Just let it flow and if you want to talk to her friends then do it. maybe shell get jealous that your talking to them and not her.Dont worry so much about her. You have fun too and if its over well then just forget her cause it wasnt meant to be and the factthat you drop her so fast might make her get insecure and try talking to you again.
i want to try to answer this .it may be because they are just embarased because i do get really embarassed infront of guys i like so technically that may be it.... umm you said it happened twice...thats how no calls....oh never mind its difficult to explain.... damn it i never cuss ......... um bye.
They were trying to play hard to get is my guess, not all girls are crazy, or maybe itw was just the girls you were dating. I know how weird this sounds but go to cosmopolitan.com its a girls magazine that will give you a different perspective on things for your own benefit.
I don't think that you have a problem you just haven't met the right girl for you yet. When you meet a girl that is willing to reciprocate your feelings you will feel allot better about yourself. Maybe you are showing a lack of self esteem that is wearing on your dates. If a female feels that you aren't happy with yourself then she will show no interest. Work on your self esteem first, then move on to your approach with the girls. You can't come on too strong or too weak, we are women and we don't even know what we want half of the time and the whole dating thing is just as confusing for us. We just show it differently. I hope I have helped. Peace and love to everyone!
lol. well base on what i have read, the girl must think that you're too good for her and that she has low self-esteem or simply she has someone else and just accepts u (b/c she doesn't want to hurt ur feelings) but avoids u later. Second, girls love texting when they are in love. Third, praise her infront of her friends and tell ur guy friends ';She's the one'; or ';That's her'; whenever she's within earshot. Fourth, be romantic, text her a love quote in the morning, give her a bouque of roses in the afternoon, take walks on the beach, eat expensive chocolates with her at night and cuddle with her, whisper in he ear and tell her that you love her. [Note: do simple things not everything i tell you, do the things that only cost love not money.] Fifth, play on ur guitar, string some chords, write true heart felt lyrics that u feel whenever u are with the person u love. Lastly, i hope this helps u from all the romance movies and books i've read. lol. well, some girls react to money but when u are a doctor, disguise urself and see how girls react around you.
Hey, im a 17 year old girl and i want to help you out. I have a boyfriend, and there are lots of things about my boyfriend that turns me on. But basically its all the same things you said you do like make girls laugh and stuff. Do you think that maybe you are even at all being too sexual or too fast? What about the places you bring her, do you go to somewhere popular or to a place maybe she doesnt like? For me, i like it when my bf and i sit at my/his place on a Saturday night and watch movies while snuggling on the couch. ALL girls like to snuggle and kiss and to be loved lol. UMM... If your like 18 or older, trying bringing her to a restraunt or to a bar if thats the type person you and her are. You should both have alot in common before getting serious. You should complement little things that us girls work hard on like nails, hair, makeup, cloths, perfume(smell) ect. Lastly, dont act too eager to call her, or to see her again. Act like you want to and it would be looked forward to by you, but dont be TOO excited or else you look imature or... i dont know, we just dont like that lol. Good luck!
I don't know how old you are but young girls don't know how to appreciate a good guy. They are still trying to find themselves. But hang in there Sweetness, don't change who you are!healthy hair ie
It;s because she doesn't like you and is to much of a ***** to let you know by talking to you. She is worried you'll think she's mean if she tells you. So she thinks it's nicer by ignoring you. Plus they don't wanna waste their time.Girls I really need advice what is going on in your minds?
ok yep u definitely have a problemo
cute boys that are nice but dont talk to much
I personally like sweet, down-to-earth guys who make me laugh, from what you said it sounds like you maybe its that your meeting the wrong kinds of girls who are into the one-night stands
Well mayby they do all that cuz the may think u are .... UGLY ! Concider a makeover or ask them why , ( if u get the chance ) .
you seem like a very nice guy who is just choosing the wrong girls. if any girl would do that to you, they are not worth getting to know anyways!! they sound mean and shallow to not talk to you after a date. try getting to know girls who are sincerely nice and friendly.
anyone ansewer, pelase: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
Maybe these girls want to be just your friends. If you want a girlfriend, you need to somehow let the girl know you want to be more than friends.
Im sorry about your lost relationships but it's life. Many girl's don't like to get sophicated in a realationship and many girl's just like expand their horizons and many many girl's don't wany to get stuck b/c they may get heart broken and girl's are real easy to fall in love well good luck
Well all the things you listed of course.
If you're shy, it never helps. BELIEVE ME.
Plus, girls probably think you are a player.
And also, if you've had one night stands, you may have a reputation. Not good.
Try working on those things, possibly?
(:
I hope I help.
hi!
Maybe you just haven't found the right girl. Whatever is meant to be will be, so don't rush things or worry. You sound perfect, it's their loss, not yours.
Money.
Girls only react to money.
Wait until you are a doctor. You will get all the stuff you can stand.
Good Luck
When people don't call you back, it means they're not interested but are unable to be direct. So they were no good for you anyway; who wants a bad communicator?
Do activities where you'll meet quality girls (not at a club). What do you like to do? For example, if you like animals, you could volunteer at an animal shelter. If you like photography, join a photography club. check out something like meetup.com, which has activity groups for your area. If you go to church, go to their youth or singles club. From doing things you like, you'll find a girl you like. Good luck!
perhaps try dating nicer girls
it seems like the girls u have gone out w/ have all been terribly messed up
i mean where do u even find them
there seems to be nothing wrong with you
and i know it seems hard to believe that it is just them and not u because they have all been the same but it is indeed possible
Well I think they don't want to be the ones to look desperate by calling you back so fast, so they decide to let you do all the work. They're the type that want their guys to fight for them by being the ones to go out of their safety box, and making these huge gesters to show just how much you're willing to commit to them. They're playing hard 2 get %26amp; It's either they've watched too many chick flix, or they've just been hurt too many times, and want to be sure that they're ready when they settle down with someone new. These are definitely the girls that you're gonna have your work cut out with.....if you're willing, of course.
Apparently you are going for the wrong type of girls. You sound very nice, and these girls don't! if they can't even tell you that they don'tlike you, they don't deserve your love.
Someday i guarantee you that you will find the right girl for you. Until then, don't ask what turns girls on on internet sights - it's your life, no one knows anything about you, and someday someone will like you for you. Just be yourself!
(p.s. i like funny, sweet, moderately paced, at least pretty good looking guys.)
Good luck.
Sometimes its not you!!! Its just the fact that those girls A) either arent interested or B) Their just not the one for you!!! Keep being who you are dont change a thing you might not get a girlfriend right away but eventually their will be a girl who really deeply falls for you just the way you are and all your flaws are going to be what attracts her even more!!! Dont get discouraged because just a few girls dont call back. Keep talking to them. But heres another tip. Dont worry so much about doing things just the way other guys do them. It kind of sounds like you try to hard. Just let it flow and if you want to talk to her friends then do it. maybe shell get jealous that your talking to them and not her.Dont worry so much about her. You have fun too and if its over well then just forget her cause it wasnt meant to be and the factthat you drop her so fast might make her get insecure and try talking to you again.
i want to try to answer this .it may be because they are just embarased because i do get really embarassed infront of guys i like so technically that may be it.... umm you said it happened twice...thats how no calls....oh never mind its difficult to explain.... damn it i never cuss ......... um bye.
They were trying to play hard to get is my guess, not all girls are crazy, or maybe itw was just the girls you were dating. I know how weird this sounds but go to cosmopolitan.com its a girls magazine that will give you a different perspective on things for your own benefit.
I don't think that you have a problem you just haven't met the right girl for you yet. When you meet a girl that is willing to reciprocate your feelings you will feel allot better about yourself. Maybe you are showing a lack of self esteem that is wearing on your dates. If a female feels that you aren't happy with yourself then she will show no interest. Work on your self esteem first, then move on to your approach with the girls. You can't come on too strong or too weak, we are women and we don't even know what we want half of the time and the whole dating thing is just as confusing for us. We just show it differently. I hope I have helped. Peace and love to everyone!
lol. well base on what i have read, the girl must think that you're too good for her and that she has low self-esteem or simply she has someone else and just accepts u (b/c she doesn't want to hurt ur feelings) but avoids u later. Second, girls love texting when they are in love. Third, praise her infront of her friends and tell ur guy friends ';She's the one'; or ';That's her'; whenever she's within earshot. Fourth, be romantic, text her a love quote in the morning, give her a bouque of roses in the afternoon, take walks on the beach, eat expensive chocolates with her at night and cuddle with her, whisper in he ear and tell her that you love her. [Note: do simple things not everything i tell you, do the things that only cost love not money.] Fifth, play on ur guitar, string some chords, write true heart felt lyrics that u feel whenever u are with the person u love. Lastly, i hope this helps u from all the romance movies and books i've read. lol. well, some girls react to money but when u are a doctor, disguise urself and see how girls react around you.
Hey, im a 17 year old girl and i want to help you out. I have a boyfriend, and there are lots of things about my boyfriend that turns me on. But basically its all the same things you said you do like make girls laugh and stuff. Do you think that maybe you are even at all being too sexual or too fast? What about the places you bring her, do you go to somewhere popular or to a place maybe she doesnt like? For me, i like it when my bf and i sit at my/his place on a Saturday night and watch movies while snuggling on the couch. ALL girls like to snuggle and kiss and to be loved lol. UMM... If your like 18 or older, trying bringing her to a restraunt or to a bar if thats the type person you and her are. You should both have alot in common before getting serious. You should complement little things that us girls work hard on like nails, hair, makeup, cloths, perfume(smell) ect. Lastly, dont act too eager to call her, or to see her again. Act like you want to and it would be looked forward to by you, but dont be TOO excited or else you look imature or... i dont know, we just dont like that lol. Good luck!
I don't know how old you are but young girls don't know how to appreciate a good guy. They are still trying to find themselves. But hang in there Sweetness, don't change who you are!
To atheists ?
well , am not religious but i'm so damn sure there is god
i mean everything starting before manexistamce is CLEARLY going with a very accurate system , even inside your body ,everything is very coordinated so well that your able to think an read what i write , move your fingers so fast along the keyboard and answer me , your fingers couldn't move without a mind could they? i mean how on earth could someone think ';nature'; created all this and everything is evolving by itself
i mean even evolution is created by god , how could something evolve without someone evolving it?!!
could the motherboard on a computer decide that it needs extra processor!!!
i'm not trying to convince you ofcource i'm just wondering that's all
i think athiest are just ppl who are convincing themselves with stuff for personal reasons , like being desperad ,angry ,or even fear of the idea that this god would want them to do somethingTo atheists ?
I'm not going to defend atheists or believers, but I agree with you that getting angry, arrogant, and/or defensive on the issue is not productive. I wish there were civil forums where secular %26amp; non-secular arguments could be made and everyone benefits from them.
I wonder what would happen if God wished himself out of existence, making all the atheists correct. Would existence as we know it suddently come to and end? Or could we as people manage somehow on our own?To atheists ?
i totally agree with you!
Why try to start an argument?
There will NEVER be full agreement between atheists and believers, so don't even try.
Oh, and learn to spell.
Right... I'll keep thinking what I want to think and you keep thinking whatever it is you think...
I'm not religious either, but I have to agree. And growing up in church I have seen many things that science can not prove. For instant being very sick as a little girl with asthma, and I have had and signs of asthma since the last time I was prayed for many many years ago.
Wowee, so damn true! I couldn't explain it any better!
i agree exactly with what ur sayin. even if evolution theory is true everything is so perfectly coordinated there must be a god, a higher power
i think you, like many people, need to grasp the fact that while answers to all of your questions do not exist yet, its pretty stupid to jump to stupid conclusions without any fact to back you up
Who said things are just right as they are? Maybe there would be a more efficient body for us, but since it has not evolved yet, we don't yet know about it. You're assuming we are at our ultimate state right now.
Also, why do you need a mind for a finger? Microscopic organisms have little protruding parts that suffice without a brain. They can move based on chemical signals, some can move based on different levels of light. You don't necessarily need a brain to have a moving extension of your body.
most of the times it has nothing to do with anger and despair...
i study in med school and i know for sure, that there was no adam and eve, but we all came from a single cell...
einstein said: tell me what you mean when you say GOD and i'll tell you whether i believe...
if you know the chemistry and anatomy of the brain, you will undertand that all we really are is chemical reactions, signals and impulses...
noone knows if there is sth after death, but we all want to believe that, cause thinking that once we die there's nothing else to do, think or wait for is cruel...
i believe there is a god, whatever that means. i picture him in my mind as luck, coincidences, sth that moves strings... sth that made the bing bang when all started...
';i think athiest are just ppl who are convincing themselves with stuff for personal reasons , like being desperad ,angry ,or even fear of the idea that this god would want them to do something';
Wrong. I'm an atheist because I think that all versions of a 'god' are pointing at an egotistical, stuck up, whiney man.
Also, I feel that christians only believe in a so called god out of fear of hell.
The idea of god is extra. Unneeded. We didnt like or hate cookies until we made them up. God is made up. I don't have anything against christians, jewish people, or anyone religious. I do have a problem with assumptions like this.
did your god make you 'dead inside'?
either way i refuse to believe something not proved to me. i'm not atheist, though. i'm agnostic.
And on a planet millions of lightyears away their may be an alien race who work just as well as us, but in a completely different way.
Ponder on that for abit, and see what you think then.
actually, i used to believe in god, and what your saying is true, most atheists converted because either they never got their prayers answered, or they believe their is no god because their life is bad
but for the people like me, we believe in logic and science, in the idea that if there WAS a god, he would have proof of his existence, and that if he was truly there, someone would have had to created Him, and so on, so it would create a huge chain of ';who created who who created who?';, sadly, no one can prove it either way, remember, the brain is a complex thing, that's why were more advanced than animals, but animals also have advantages over us, evolution is why that is, what evolution is is pretty much the advancing of an (or a group) of organisms
the thing is, if there was a god, is he merciful to those who have strayed? to those have have chosen a different god? does that not go against the whole ';god cares for everyone, and makes no judgement';, too many contradictions within religion, and not enough proof
The flaw in your argument is that if everything had to be created because it's all so complex,then where did God come from? I'm not saying He doesn't exist,but the logic
in your argument is limited. The fact is there is no logical way
to prove or disprove the existence of a hypothetically
all-powerful,all-knowing spiritual entity. That's why I'll stick with
agnosticism and live my life without worrying about what the Man Upstairs might want from me.
Alright let me address this question in a serious non-flaming way.
First of all it sounds like you REALLY need to read up on the science of evolution. Evolution has been -proven- beyond the benefit of a doubt that it is in fact the way mankind has came to be. There is no we ';think'; nature created it, we know and it's proven.
Second. The example you use is using an inanimate object and expecting it to multiply or enhance itself by magic, that is not the proper comparison to evolution of a living organism.
There is fossil evidence, cellular evidence, DNA evidence all that links man to it's earlier primate cousins. When I say fossils I mean you can actually even find bones and fossils of Neanderthal man, along with Man as we know it in the same time line. Comparing the two you can see what has been ';evolved'; into the latter.
So in view of all the concrete evidence that points towards evolution, that screams out ';There is no denying it!'; to evolution. You are the one who is asking us, why we don't believe in god?
God, who is an invisible deity that watches everything we do, has a list of ten things we shouldn't do and whom people will simply say, ';God works in mysterious ways'; when something horrible happens and asked ';Why would god allow this?'; is more believable to you then evolution where they can show you step by step how things advanced, explain the process in great detail.
But you still believe in a man you've simply read a book about, a book written by a man however long ago?
I think you really need to read a few books like ';Farewell to God'; and ';The God Delusion'; as well as any number of fine books on evolution.
I can only hope that you're blind faith and upbringing do not stop you from seeing the truth as it really is.
Best of luck!
im an atheist and i have almost ALL MY LIFE.
ive been going to christian schools my whole life. almost all my friends are those typical sunday church goers, but im STILL not religious.
and im DEFINATELY not depressed, angry, or in fear that there is the idea of god.
i just need to see things in order to believe.
people that believe in god are just hopeless people that are hoping for something in their next life or their lives with god or something.
ive even TRIED to make sense of the whole god thing my reading the bible front to back.
i STILL dont believe he created us.
i think revolution makes more sense then any ';god'; making us.
i mean, NO supreme power in this world could make us in likee... one day.
as you said, were WAYY to complicated and we all have our own feelings and minds.
and YOU call yourself an atheist.
you may have been but you DEFINATELY arent anymore.
i think that people who ARE religious are looking for a way out of trying the best for themselves in their livess.
THEY are the angry, depressed, and fearful ones.
their too scared to stand by themselves so they have to beleive in this supreme power.
and honestly, if god were so important wouldnt the pastors be a little educated and respectable.
i mean, most of those people didnt even go to COLLEGE.
they get out of high school and realize that their gonna have to sell drugs or park their butts next to some bag lady on the street and beg for quarters.
so they convert to christianity (supposedly) and get paid some decent cash.
face it, loser.
you KNO im rite.
Oh just shut it.
People who can't understand evolution shouldn't try to sound as if they can singlehandedly oppose it.
And PLEASE, for the love of whatever God you desperately cling to- drop the 'something from nothing' argument. Its been tried and beaten again and again. Do something new for a change!
There DO exist the 'angry atheist' (for instance an ex-Christian gay who became an atheist because God said 2 penises + 1 bed = NOT cool) but atheists are not so easily generalised (unlike religious people; who choose to be bound by a narrow set of beliefs).
First, I'm Agnostic, not an Atheist, but wanted to put my two cents in on the subject. Why I see issues with religion and science is that I am open to the idea that there's more than one possibility for most things. I think if you study biology and really sit down and cogitate on it, you can see that over billions of years that it's possible for things to have evolved to their current state. No scientist can ever say that evolution is a fact. There's no such thing as 'fact' in science. The only thing we have are hypotheses and then empirical evidence that 'supports' the given hypothesis.
I think the reason we have so many issues is that it's hard for people to imagine what changes can occur over the course of billions of years. We live to maybe 120 years if we're really lucky, and as a civilization, have only really recently begun to understand what is outside of our world as well as how things work within our world. Take a minute and look at the Earth and it's inhabitants from a purely biological view. Look at how and why all of the animals, including humankind, reproduce. For the lower animals, it's instinct and to preserve the species. For humans it can be said that it's the same thing, but we've also been able to grow beyond our basic needs of survival and have become self aware and begun to explore outside of our current bubble of existence.
Perhaps you've heard the phrase, 'Necessity is the mother of invention'. That speaks volumes to the adaptations that humankind has experienced. Our brains have developed so that we can train ourselves to learn. I didn't start out life with the ability to use the 10-Key at 20,000 keystrokes per hour.. that came after lots of practice in the accounting area in my job. Life is trial and error and we learn from our mistakes and teach those around us. Those people benefit from us and that carries on for generations. Evolution occurs on the scale of populations, not individuals, so it may be harder to recognize but it is there. How else do you explain things like peanut allergies for example? When I was a kid, I'd never even heard of that, but now, my own kids can't even bring foods or snacks with peanuts into schools for fear of sending someone into anaphylactic shock. The reason is that we have higher standards of cleanliness and our bodies don't get the chance to fight off infections and allergens on their own anymore and we're becoming too sterile for our own good. It's just another method of natural selection (Darwinism). I think if you are honest with yourself, and take the time to open your mind, you can see things like this as a possible alternative.
To summarize, I am not desperate, angry, or in fear of God for anything, as you might suggest is the reason for not being of a certain religion. I was raised Catholic and never had anything bad happen to me growing up related to that. It's just that I started to see the world in a different way, with different possibilities, and wasn't afraid to ask questions. I am comfortable with how I live my life and agree that yes, humans achieve amazing feats and if I had one selfish wish, it's that I could spend more time watching and seeing how it turns out.
what is god?how do you define god? the world is not what it seems.it's way more coplex.so you can never know if there is a god.if god is what you think, then it's just a theory and you have created the god.
And it's easier for me to believe that there is a all mighty powerful entity in the sky who I'm supposed to bow down to for creating me?
I think it's easier to believe in science than that belief.
I think we should agree to disagree... all atheists and religious people.
Because honestly, even if atheists had proof of there no possablitly of a higher being, or entity, they wouldn't believe it anyway.
After all, Religious people's fight is - ';We evolved out of cyanobacteria?';
Atheist's counteraction ';There's a all-mighty entity in the sky, that came from nowhere, and was always here...?';
Because everything works so well in your system is 'proof' that there is a god....hmmm.
Your thought process reminds me of the movie “The Gods Must Be Crazy,” a native in the Kalahari Desert encounters technology for the first time--in the shape of a Coke bottle. I found this to be very amusing, but I also began to see parallels between his thought process, and that of the modern day Theist like you.
Both are using CAVEMAN LOGIC to explain their world. I fail to see the difference between “hmm, bottle fall from sky, must be gods” and “hmm, trees, butterflies, the complex human organism prove the existence of god.”
In both of these cases, someone is simply replacing one unknown for another unknown, but proving nothing!
Not only can God not be proven, but I will also go so far as to say that God can be disproved. It is impossible for something to be all knowing and all good. If you are aware that something bad is going to happen, and you allow it to happen anyway, then you cannot be all good. If God created everything, then he also created evil. It is also impossible to be all-powerful; can God create a rock that even he himself cannot move?
I would have thought that as man became more knowledgeable and logical that he would have pushed aside his caveman beliefs, but it seems to be just the opposite.
very good point...now seek the truth from all religions to come to the conclusion that they are all one and the same...and that there is only one religion out there that sums them all up and that is islam
i mean everything starting before manexistamce is CLEARLY going with a very accurate system , even inside your body ,everything is very coordinated so well that your able to think an read what i write , move your fingers so fast along the keyboard and answer me , your fingers couldn't move without a mind could they? i mean how on earth could someone think ';nature'; created all this and everything is evolving by itself
i mean even evolution is created by god , how could something evolve without someone evolving it?!!
could the motherboard on a computer decide that it needs extra processor!!!
i'm not trying to convince you ofcource i'm just wondering that's all
i think athiest are just ppl who are convincing themselves with stuff for personal reasons , like being desperad ,angry ,or even fear of the idea that this god would want them to do somethingTo atheists ?
I'm not going to defend atheists or believers, but I agree with you that getting angry, arrogant, and/or defensive on the issue is not productive. I wish there were civil forums where secular %26amp; non-secular arguments could be made and everyone benefits from them.
I wonder what would happen if God wished himself out of existence, making all the atheists correct. Would existence as we know it suddently come to and end? Or could we as people manage somehow on our own?To atheists ?
i totally agree with you!
Why try to start an argument?
There will NEVER be full agreement between atheists and believers, so don't even try.
Oh, and learn to spell.
Right... I'll keep thinking what I want to think and you keep thinking whatever it is you think...
I'm not religious either, but I have to agree. And growing up in church I have seen many things that science can not prove. For instant being very sick as a little girl with asthma, and I have had and signs of asthma since the last time I was prayed for many many years ago.
Wowee, so damn true! I couldn't explain it any better!
i agree exactly with what ur sayin. even if evolution theory is true everything is so perfectly coordinated there must be a god, a higher power
i think you, like many people, need to grasp the fact that while answers to all of your questions do not exist yet, its pretty stupid to jump to stupid conclusions without any fact to back you up
Who said things are just right as they are? Maybe there would be a more efficient body for us, but since it has not evolved yet, we don't yet know about it. You're assuming we are at our ultimate state right now.
Also, why do you need a mind for a finger? Microscopic organisms have little protruding parts that suffice without a brain. They can move based on chemical signals, some can move based on different levels of light. You don't necessarily need a brain to have a moving extension of your body.
most of the times it has nothing to do with anger and despair...
i study in med school and i know for sure, that there was no adam and eve, but we all came from a single cell...
einstein said: tell me what you mean when you say GOD and i'll tell you whether i believe...
if you know the chemistry and anatomy of the brain, you will undertand that all we really are is chemical reactions, signals and impulses...
noone knows if there is sth after death, but we all want to believe that, cause thinking that once we die there's nothing else to do, think or wait for is cruel...
i believe there is a god, whatever that means. i picture him in my mind as luck, coincidences, sth that moves strings... sth that made the bing bang when all started...
';i think athiest are just ppl who are convincing themselves with stuff for personal reasons , like being desperad ,angry ,or even fear of the idea that this god would want them to do something';
Wrong. I'm an atheist because I think that all versions of a 'god' are pointing at an egotistical, stuck up, whiney man.
Also, I feel that christians only believe in a so called god out of fear of hell.
The idea of god is extra. Unneeded. We didnt like or hate cookies until we made them up. God is made up. I don't have anything against christians, jewish people, or anyone religious. I do have a problem with assumptions like this.
did your god make you 'dead inside'?
either way i refuse to believe something not proved to me. i'm not atheist, though. i'm agnostic.
And on a planet millions of lightyears away their may be an alien race who work just as well as us, but in a completely different way.
Ponder on that for abit, and see what you think then.
actually, i used to believe in god, and what your saying is true, most atheists converted because either they never got their prayers answered, or they believe their is no god because their life is bad
but for the people like me, we believe in logic and science, in the idea that if there WAS a god, he would have proof of his existence, and that if he was truly there, someone would have had to created Him, and so on, so it would create a huge chain of ';who created who who created who?';, sadly, no one can prove it either way, remember, the brain is a complex thing, that's why were more advanced than animals, but animals also have advantages over us, evolution is why that is, what evolution is is pretty much the advancing of an (or a group) of organisms
the thing is, if there was a god, is he merciful to those who have strayed? to those have have chosen a different god? does that not go against the whole ';god cares for everyone, and makes no judgement';, too many contradictions within religion, and not enough proof
The flaw in your argument is that if everything had to be created because it's all so complex,then where did God come from? I'm not saying He doesn't exist,but the logic
in your argument is limited. The fact is there is no logical way
to prove or disprove the existence of a hypothetically
all-powerful,all-knowing spiritual entity. That's why I'll stick with
agnosticism and live my life without worrying about what the Man Upstairs might want from me.
Alright let me address this question in a serious non-flaming way.
First of all it sounds like you REALLY need to read up on the science of evolution. Evolution has been -proven- beyond the benefit of a doubt that it is in fact the way mankind has came to be. There is no we ';think'; nature created it, we know and it's proven.
Second. The example you use is using an inanimate object and expecting it to multiply or enhance itself by magic, that is not the proper comparison to evolution of a living organism.
There is fossil evidence, cellular evidence, DNA evidence all that links man to it's earlier primate cousins. When I say fossils I mean you can actually even find bones and fossils of Neanderthal man, along with Man as we know it in the same time line. Comparing the two you can see what has been ';evolved'; into the latter.
So in view of all the concrete evidence that points towards evolution, that screams out ';There is no denying it!'; to evolution. You are the one who is asking us, why we don't believe in god?
God, who is an invisible deity that watches everything we do, has a list of ten things we shouldn't do and whom people will simply say, ';God works in mysterious ways'; when something horrible happens and asked ';Why would god allow this?'; is more believable to you then evolution where they can show you step by step how things advanced, explain the process in great detail.
But you still believe in a man you've simply read a book about, a book written by a man however long ago?
I think you really need to read a few books like ';Farewell to God'; and ';The God Delusion'; as well as any number of fine books on evolution.
I can only hope that you're blind faith and upbringing do not stop you from seeing the truth as it really is.
Best of luck!
im an atheist and i have almost ALL MY LIFE.
ive been going to christian schools my whole life. almost all my friends are those typical sunday church goers, but im STILL not religious.
and im DEFINATELY not depressed, angry, or in fear that there is the idea of god.
i just need to see things in order to believe.
people that believe in god are just hopeless people that are hoping for something in their next life or their lives with god or something.
ive even TRIED to make sense of the whole god thing my reading the bible front to back.
i STILL dont believe he created us.
i think revolution makes more sense then any ';god'; making us.
i mean, NO supreme power in this world could make us in likee... one day.
as you said, were WAYY to complicated and we all have our own feelings and minds.
and YOU call yourself an atheist.
you may have been but you DEFINATELY arent anymore.
i think that people who ARE religious are looking for a way out of trying the best for themselves in their livess.
THEY are the angry, depressed, and fearful ones.
their too scared to stand by themselves so they have to beleive in this supreme power.
and honestly, if god were so important wouldnt the pastors be a little educated and respectable.
i mean, most of those people didnt even go to COLLEGE.
they get out of high school and realize that their gonna have to sell drugs or park their butts next to some bag lady on the street and beg for quarters.
so they convert to christianity (supposedly) and get paid some decent cash.
face it, loser.
you KNO im rite.
Oh just shut it.
People who can't understand evolution shouldn't try to sound as if they can singlehandedly oppose it.
And PLEASE, for the love of whatever God you desperately cling to- drop the 'something from nothing' argument. Its been tried and beaten again and again. Do something new for a change!
There DO exist the 'angry atheist' (for instance an ex-Christian gay who became an atheist because God said 2 penises + 1 bed = NOT cool) but atheists are not so easily generalised (unlike religious people; who choose to be bound by a narrow set of beliefs).
First, I'm Agnostic, not an Atheist, but wanted to put my two cents in on the subject. Why I see issues with religion and science is that I am open to the idea that there's more than one possibility for most things. I think if you study biology and really sit down and cogitate on it, you can see that over billions of years that it's possible for things to have evolved to their current state. No scientist can ever say that evolution is a fact. There's no such thing as 'fact' in science. The only thing we have are hypotheses and then empirical evidence that 'supports' the given hypothesis.
I think the reason we have so many issues is that it's hard for people to imagine what changes can occur over the course of billions of years. We live to maybe 120 years if we're really lucky, and as a civilization, have only really recently begun to understand what is outside of our world as well as how things work within our world. Take a minute and look at the Earth and it's inhabitants from a purely biological view. Look at how and why all of the animals, including humankind, reproduce. For the lower animals, it's instinct and to preserve the species. For humans it can be said that it's the same thing, but we've also been able to grow beyond our basic needs of survival and have become self aware and begun to explore outside of our current bubble of existence.
Perhaps you've heard the phrase, 'Necessity is the mother of invention'. That speaks volumes to the adaptations that humankind has experienced. Our brains have developed so that we can train ourselves to learn. I didn't start out life with the ability to use the 10-Key at 20,000 keystrokes per hour.. that came after lots of practice in the accounting area in my job. Life is trial and error and we learn from our mistakes and teach those around us. Those people benefit from us and that carries on for generations. Evolution occurs on the scale of populations, not individuals, so it may be harder to recognize but it is there. How else do you explain things like peanut allergies for example? When I was a kid, I'd never even heard of that, but now, my own kids can't even bring foods or snacks with peanuts into schools for fear of sending someone into anaphylactic shock. The reason is that we have higher standards of cleanliness and our bodies don't get the chance to fight off infections and allergens on their own anymore and we're becoming too sterile for our own good. It's just another method of natural selection (Darwinism). I think if you are honest with yourself, and take the time to open your mind, you can see things like this as a possible alternative.
To summarize, I am not desperate, angry, or in fear of God for anything, as you might suggest is the reason for not being of a certain religion. I was raised Catholic and never had anything bad happen to me growing up related to that. It's just that I started to see the world in a different way, with different possibilities, and wasn't afraid to ask questions. I am comfortable with how I live my life and agree that yes, humans achieve amazing feats and if I had one selfish wish, it's that I could spend more time watching and seeing how it turns out.
what is god?how do you define god? the world is not what it seems.it's way more coplex.so you can never know if there is a god.if god is what you think, then it's just a theory and you have created the god.
And it's easier for me to believe that there is a all mighty powerful entity in the sky who I'm supposed to bow down to for creating me?
I think it's easier to believe in science than that belief.
I think we should agree to disagree... all atheists and religious people.
Because honestly, even if atheists had proof of there no possablitly of a higher being, or entity, they wouldn't believe it anyway.
After all, Religious people's fight is - ';We evolved out of cyanobacteria?';
Atheist's counteraction ';There's a all-mighty entity in the sky, that came from nowhere, and was always here...?';
Because everything works so well in your system is 'proof' that there is a god....hmmm.
Your thought process reminds me of the movie “The Gods Must Be Crazy,” a native in the Kalahari Desert encounters technology for the first time--in the shape of a Coke bottle. I found this to be very amusing, but I also began to see parallels between his thought process, and that of the modern day Theist like you.
Both are using CAVEMAN LOGIC to explain their world. I fail to see the difference between “hmm, bottle fall from sky, must be gods” and “hmm, trees, butterflies, the complex human organism prove the existence of god.”
In both of these cases, someone is simply replacing one unknown for another unknown, but proving nothing!
Not only can God not be proven, but I will also go so far as to say that God can be disproved. It is impossible for something to be all knowing and all good. If you are aware that something bad is going to happen, and you allow it to happen anyway, then you cannot be all good. If God created everything, then he also created evil. It is also impossible to be all-powerful; can God create a rock that even he himself cannot move?
I would have thought that as man became more knowledgeable and logical that he would have pushed aside his caveman beliefs, but it seems to be just the opposite.
very good point...now seek the truth from all religions to come to the conclusion that they are all one and the same...and that there is only one religion out there that sums them all up and that is islam
Have you had to deal with one of your kids choice of girlfriend/boyfriend?
My son WAS engaged to this girl but not any longer.Apparently she had some friends over to their place when he wasn't there and a friend of a friend had stolen some of my sons valuables. My son asked her to please not keep company with them because they were drug users. She disregarded his wishes and had them over again and then the theft happened.
To make a long story short, my son called the police and his fiance flipped out. She was angry. This confused my son, until she blurts out to the police ';Some of your stuff is in my car!...'; At first she acted as though she knew nothing then she proceeds to tell the police that times are hard and her friends needed the money. Being drug users we knew where the money was going. She wouldn't write a statement that those people took my sons things. Oddly, she defended them. My son was hurt and told her that if she found it more important to cover for these losers then she didn't care about him. She didn't budge.
Since then she has gone to court and plead innocent to charges of receiving stolen property- for the things that were sitting in her car. She is stubborn and won't admit she was wrong to do this to him. They had moved out of the place they had together and now a couple months later and not really talking he is trying to reconnect with her. She has always treated him badly. None of the family thought she acted like she was in love with him and she constantly argued very loudly in my home with no regard for others. This girl is one that is trouble. None of us know what he's sees in her. Yet my son expects me and the rest of the family to LOVE her and he is saying that we are responsible for sabotaging their relationship. We all mind our business and don't want to hear of this girl because when he talks about her he tries to paint this pretty picture of her and we just want nothing to do with this situation. Because I want my space and to be left in peace he has called me a phony, that I'm nice to her face but tell him I don't think she's for him when he talks about her. How can I get him to leave me out of this? If I have an opinion I should be entitled to it and not called a phony for my feelings.Have you had to deal with one of your kids choice of girlfriend/boyfriend?
Wow, your son needs a huge reality check. I don't even know you or your son, and I already know that she is not right for him. First of all, if she really loved him, she should have respected his decision and his statement about not having those people over again. That's where she made the first mistake. Relationships are all about being honest and respecting the other person, and it seems it's lacking here. She seems a bit immature and I think your son can benefit more from another person.
This is going kind of outside the box...but are you religious? Is your son? If not, then I respect your decision.
If yes, then you should tell him to try and connect himself with the higher power (whatever it is that he or you might believe in) and seek answers through that. I personally am very religious and this has answered many of my burning questions and I have come to understand many things in my life because of this. But like I said, if you're not that into it or him, then I understand.
Moving on, he can't force or make the family LOVE her. Love cannot be taken away or forced upon. He should understand that as much as he thinks he 'loves' her, that that's how much his family doesn't love her. He can't expect to not change his feelings about her, and for all of the rest of the people to change.
You have to be honest. I cannot stress this enough; you have to go up to your son, I mean you're not intimidated by him I hope, I mean he's your son. Anyway, go up to him and be very honest, say, ';listen, you know I love you. You know that (insert family names here) loves you too. You have to understand that we are your family and we want the best for you. There will be no one else in the world that will love you more than your family. Everything I tell you about her, and my opinions of her, is me helping you out of my heart. Why would I want to harm you and ruin your relationship? You're my son! I just want you to respect the decision that I have made, and if you cannot respect that decision, then please leave me out of the situation. That's all that I ask of you. And in the long run, if you end up with her, and you have problems and something like this happens again, you're going to look back and realize that we were right. Maybe you will have a happy marriage for the rest of your life, who knows! But in the end, it's your decision, and it's your life, so don't say that I am controlling it or sabotaging it because you can make your own decisions, you're an adult. Just know that, whatever problems arise out of your situation with her, that it's your own fault because you decided to stay with her. Just don't put all the blame on your family because your family is not dating her, you are.';
Something along those lines you should say to him, if you agree with it, that is.
I hope that helped, have a wonderful day.Have you had to deal with one of your kids choice of girlfriend/boyfriend?
Your son is engaged in making his own bed. You need to let him lie in it.
You don't need to make derogatory remarks about his girlfriend but he needs to know she is not welcome in your home. You are entitled to your opinion but since your opinion is creating conflict between your son and you, you might try keeping it to yourself. You'll have enough to deal with just enforcing the ';no welcome'; concept. Outside of that, your son is an adult or soon will be. You can love him but you can't control him by voicing your opinion of who he can or should not date.r
u need 2 slap ur son in the face is he sum sort of mug she's stealing from him ur right in thinking that ur son is wrong and that she is bad news. How can your son expect u to show respect if she shows u or your family any. rob her things and say i wanted the money 4 my shopping or something then c how she reacts coz she did it 2 ur son. This is tuff love and if you don't do anything she will get your son doing bad things. there's a old saying ';Tell me your company and i'll tell you who you are';. If your son can't respect you 4 protecting his interests and future then he is very ignorant.
To make a long story short, my son called the police and his fiance flipped out. She was angry. This confused my son, until she blurts out to the police ';Some of your stuff is in my car!...'; At first she acted as though she knew nothing then she proceeds to tell the police that times are hard and her friends needed the money. Being drug users we knew where the money was going. She wouldn't write a statement that those people took my sons things. Oddly, she defended them. My son was hurt and told her that if she found it more important to cover for these losers then she didn't care about him. She didn't budge.
Since then she has gone to court and plead innocent to charges of receiving stolen property- for the things that were sitting in her car. She is stubborn and won't admit she was wrong to do this to him. They had moved out of the place they had together and now a couple months later and not really talking he is trying to reconnect with her. She has always treated him badly. None of the family thought she acted like she was in love with him and she constantly argued very loudly in my home with no regard for others. This girl is one that is trouble. None of us know what he's sees in her. Yet my son expects me and the rest of the family to LOVE her and he is saying that we are responsible for sabotaging their relationship. We all mind our business and don't want to hear of this girl because when he talks about her he tries to paint this pretty picture of her and we just want nothing to do with this situation. Because I want my space and to be left in peace he has called me a phony, that I'm nice to her face but tell him I don't think she's for him when he talks about her. How can I get him to leave me out of this? If I have an opinion I should be entitled to it and not called a phony for my feelings.Have you had to deal with one of your kids choice of girlfriend/boyfriend?
Wow, your son needs a huge reality check. I don't even know you or your son, and I already know that she is not right for him. First of all, if she really loved him, she should have respected his decision and his statement about not having those people over again. That's where she made the first mistake. Relationships are all about being honest and respecting the other person, and it seems it's lacking here. She seems a bit immature and I think your son can benefit more from another person.
This is going kind of outside the box...but are you religious? Is your son? If not, then I respect your decision.
If yes, then you should tell him to try and connect himself with the higher power (whatever it is that he or you might believe in) and seek answers through that. I personally am very religious and this has answered many of my burning questions and I have come to understand many things in my life because of this. But like I said, if you're not that into it or him, then I understand.
Moving on, he can't force or make the family LOVE her. Love cannot be taken away or forced upon. He should understand that as much as he thinks he 'loves' her, that that's how much his family doesn't love her. He can't expect to not change his feelings about her, and for all of the rest of the people to change.
You have to be honest. I cannot stress this enough; you have to go up to your son, I mean you're not intimidated by him I hope, I mean he's your son. Anyway, go up to him and be very honest, say, ';listen, you know I love you. You know that (insert family names here) loves you too. You have to understand that we are your family and we want the best for you. There will be no one else in the world that will love you more than your family. Everything I tell you about her, and my opinions of her, is me helping you out of my heart. Why would I want to harm you and ruin your relationship? You're my son! I just want you to respect the decision that I have made, and if you cannot respect that decision, then please leave me out of the situation. That's all that I ask of you. And in the long run, if you end up with her, and you have problems and something like this happens again, you're going to look back and realize that we were right. Maybe you will have a happy marriage for the rest of your life, who knows! But in the end, it's your decision, and it's your life, so don't say that I am controlling it or sabotaging it because you can make your own decisions, you're an adult. Just know that, whatever problems arise out of your situation with her, that it's your own fault because you decided to stay with her. Just don't put all the blame on your family because your family is not dating her, you are.';
Something along those lines you should say to him, if you agree with it, that is.
I hope that helped, have a wonderful day.Have you had to deal with one of your kids choice of girlfriend/boyfriend?
Your son is engaged in making his own bed. You need to let him lie in it.
You don't need to make derogatory remarks about his girlfriend but he needs to know she is not welcome in your home. You are entitled to your opinion but since your opinion is creating conflict between your son and you, you might try keeping it to yourself. You'll have enough to deal with just enforcing the ';no welcome'; concept. Outside of that, your son is an adult or soon will be. You can love him but you can't control him by voicing your opinion of who he can or should not date.r
u need 2 slap ur son in the face is he sum sort of mug she's stealing from him ur right in thinking that ur son is wrong and that she is bad news. How can your son expect u to show respect if she shows u or your family any. rob her things and say i wanted the money 4 my shopping or something then c how she reacts coz she did it 2 ur son. This is tuff love and if you don't do anything she will get your son doing bad things. there's a old saying ';Tell me your company and i'll tell you who you are';. If your son can't respect you 4 protecting his interests and future then he is very ignorant.
';Running away'; at 19...?
Alright so I realize that since I am over the legal age of 18, if I just left my house it would not be technically running away. But that's what I'm doing. I'll give you a little bit of information to fully understand so you're able to answer the question I'm going to ask though. So, let me say first that I am not leaving my parents house out of hate, anger, or anything cliche like that. My reason is that I just want to live my life the way I've always been wanting to. And that's very hard to do when you have one of the most judgmental people as your mom. I don't necessarily want to go and do bad things but just I guess not have to worry if what I am doing is going to be approved by her.
Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.
I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.
As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.
So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that?
Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.
Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.';Running away'; at 19...?
Way too long to read. People really need to learn to get to the point. You are over 18. You can move out anytime you want. Just pack your stuff and leave. Just remember much of what you consider ';your stuff'; is your parents stuff.';Running away'; at 19...?
If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one.
Adults do not sneak out of their home, disappear for a few days while their loved ones go crazy with worry and then contact their family like nothing happened.
If you want to move out, tell your parents and move your stuff out.
Don't act like a child and do it the way you want to. It's the equivalent of a 19 year old throwing a tantrum.
I agree... this is way too long.
If you have to go through all of this to figure out if you should move out of your parents' house, you're obviously too immature to make it on your own. I say man up, talk to your parents, and get out on your own like a normal adult.
You seem to have thought this through and I think your plan is a good one.
One thing I would suggest is that, if you can do it sincerely, you end your letter by saying, “I love you.” You might then add, “I just can’t live with you any more.” Do not put a “but” in there between the two sentences.
If someone wants to find you, they can. A PI could find you pretty easily. But what good does it do? When you talk to your parents in a few days and they ask where you are, tell them you will tell them at a later time.
I was lucky. I had two great parents and a brother and sister. But I had friends who didn’t have it so good. I don’t know what your situation is like from first-hand experience, but I know what’s it’s like from my observations.
If you like the car your parents bought for you, you might want to offer to pay them for it (the current fair market value). But that’s up to you.
BTW, you are right that you are not running away. You are just stepping out into a new life. You are lucky to have a good job and available opportunities.
Good luck.
Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.
I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.
As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.
So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that?
Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.
Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.';Running away'; at 19...?
Way too long to read. People really need to learn to get to the point. You are over 18. You can move out anytime you want. Just pack your stuff and leave. Just remember much of what you consider ';your stuff'; is your parents stuff.';Running away'; at 19...?
If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one.
Adults do not sneak out of their home, disappear for a few days while their loved ones go crazy with worry and then contact their family like nothing happened.
If you want to move out, tell your parents and move your stuff out.
Don't act like a child and do it the way you want to. It's the equivalent of a 19 year old throwing a tantrum.
I agree... this is way too long.
If you have to go through all of this to figure out if you should move out of your parents' house, you're obviously too immature to make it on your own. I say man up, talk to your parents, and get out on your own like a normal adult.
You seem to have thought this through and I think your plan is a good one.
One thing I would suggest is that, if you can do it sincerely, you end your letter by saying, “I love you.” You might then add, “I just can’t live with you any more.” Do not put a “but” in there between the two sentences.
If someone wants to find you, they can. A PI could find you pretty easily. But what good does it do? When you talk to your parents in a few days and they ask where you are, tell them you will tell them at a later time.
I was lucky. I had two great parents and a brother and sister. But I had friends who didn’t have it so good. I don’t know what your situation is like from first-hand experience, but I know what’s it’s like from my observations.
If you like the car your parents bought for you, you might want to offer to pay them for it (the current fair market value). But that’s up to you.
BTW, you are right that you are not running away. You are just stepping out into a new life. You are lucky to have a good job and available opportunities.
Good luck.
';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?
Alright so I realize that since I am over the legal age of 18, if I just left my house it would not be technically running away. But that's what I'm doing. I'll give you a little bit of information to fully understand so you're able to answer the question I'm going to ask though. So, let me say first that I am not leaving my parents house out of hate, anger, or anything cliche like that. My reason is that I just want to live my life the way I've always been wanting to. And that's very hard to do when you have one of the most judgmental people as your mom. I don't necessarily want to go and do bad things but just I guess not have to worry if what I am doing is going to be approved by her.
Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.
I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.
As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.
So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that? And if they do hire a private investigator, will they have to tell my parents where I am if they find where I am?
Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at or where I work. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.
Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?
Wow that was a lot to read but I read it all. I noticed you said you HAVE a very good paying job and if your parents know where you work then it's not going to be that hard to find you even if you change your last name.Also you said you were going to call your parents a few days after you move out and try not to cut them out of your life. If you aren't going to cut them out of your life then don't worry about them finding you.If they hire a private investigator then the investigator is paid to find you and tell the people who are paying for them to tell where you are (that's their job). Remember you are 19 so you don't have to move back home or stay with them, no matter how hard they try to get you back you are an adult and you will be married soon and starting your own family. You also said they bought you a car, if it is under their name and they are making payments for it and your not helping to pay it off then they could take you to civil court and try to get the car back.';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?
You don't sound mature enough to survive on your own, let alone get married. You are just a silly child.
If you can financially support yourself and get through college or school, then yes you can 'move away' if your parents call the police they can't do anything about it.
Or just openly tell your parents you're gone maybe they'll even listen to you now, because i have a doubt that they actually care about you k.
You want to be happy?
You don't want to be found?
You want to prove to the world that you are your own boss and dont need anyone else?
Join the military!
I don't think a private investigator has that much liberty. Unless you're in a life and death situation, I don't think your parents will be able to find you from the formal channels. But good luck with your new life - you will be surprised - for the good and the bad.
I think if you want to go live like a grown up you need to be grown up enough to tell your parents, you are leaving, and go ahead and go, since you are old enough....without being sneaky like a teenager.
you seem very level headed and at 19 there is no reason that you shouldn't move out and begin your own life, why do you care what they say? i assume you are in the US so no, legally nobody can reveal where you are
i see no flaws in your plan expect for the way your parents will find out
if it were me i would move all of my things out ( just in case they would try to keep anything out of spite or hurt) then tell them as you leave
No, it sounds like your plan is really well thought out. They can't find you in anyway, don't worry. As for a private investigator, they would have to know a full name, I think. Since your name will be changed, it won't work.
I wish you luck and many blessings. I know how it is about not being able to talk, but i really don't see any flaw. Police can't get you and bring you back (esp if your are getting married) and if you say you will call and keep in touch i don't think they will go to the extreme and hire a PI. Maybe they will understand that you need to live your own life.
you sound like a little mexican pueblerina wanting to run away with the bandido. nineteen. wow.if you actually want to leave don't live with the boyfriend just yet. live alone because if for some reason your relationship fails. your screwed in every way possible. think about how your parents would take it if they hear that you left with your boyfriend. but have fun with your new adventure. starting your life does not count if you bring a boyfriend along. he's part of the old one.
the flaws: emotions, dealing with living together with a new person, they can probably call all the numbers you called on your old cell phone. using the bill.your parents calling all your close friends.
have fun
Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.
I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.
As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.
So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that? And if they do hire a private investigator, will they have to tell my parents where I am if they find where I am?
Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at or where I work. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.
Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?
Wow that was a lot to read but I read it all. I noticed you said you HAVE a very good paying job and if your parents know where you work then it's not going to be that hard to find you even if you change your last name.Also you said you were going to call your parents a few days after you move out and try not to cut them out of your life. If you aren't going to cut them out of your life then don't worry about them finding you.If they hire a private investigator then the investigator is paid to find you and tell the people who are paying for them to tell where you are (that's their job). Remember you are 19 so you don't have to move back home or stay with them, no matter how hard they try to get you back you are an adult and you will be married soon and starting your own family. You also said they bought you a car, if it is under their name and they are making payments for it and your not helping to pay it off then they could take you to civil court and try to get the car back.';Running away'; at 19... (explained better)?
You don't sound mature enough to survive on your own, let alone get married. You are just a silly child.
Report Abuse
If you can financially support yourself and get through college or school, then yes you can 'move away' if your parents call the police they can't do anything about it.
Or just openly tell your parents you're gone maybe they'll even listen to you now, because i have a doubt that they actually care about you k.
You want to be happy?
You don't want to be found?
You want to prove to the world that you are your own boss and dont need anyone else?
Join the military!
I don't think a private investigator has that much liberty. Unless you're in a life and death situation, I don't think your parents will be able to find you from the formal channels. But good luck with your new life - you will be surprised - for the good and the bad.
I think if you want to go live like a grown up you need to be grown up enough to tell your parents, you are leaving, and go ahead and go, since you are old enough....without being sneaky like a teenager.
you seem very level headed and at 19 there is no reason that you shouldn't move out and begin your own life, why do you care what they say? i assume you are in the US so no, legally nobody can reveal where you are
i see no flaws in your plan expect for the way your parents will find out
if it were me i would move all of my things out ( just in case they would try to keep anything out of spite or hurt) then tell them as you leave
No, it sounds like your plan is really well thought out. They can't find you in anyway, don't worry. As for a private investigator, they would have to know a full name, I think. Since your name will be changed, it won't work.
I wish you luck and many blessings. I know how it is about not being able to talk, but i really don't see any flaw. Police can't get you and bring you back (esp if your are getting married) and if you say you will call and keep in touch i don't think they will go to the extreme and hire a PI. Maybe they will understand that you need to live your own life.
you sound like a little mexican pueblerina wanting to run away with the bandido. nineteen. wow.if you actually want to leave don't live with the boyfriend just yet. live alone because if for some reason your relationship fails. your screwed in every way possible. think about how your parents would take it if they hear that you left with your boyfriend. but have fun with your new adventure. starting your life does not count if you bring a boyfriend along. he's part of the old one.
the flaws: emotions, dealing with living together with a new person, they can probably call all the numbers you called on your old cell phone. using the bill.your parents calling all your close friends.
have fun
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)