Sunday, December 11, 2011

Do you like these lyrics?

The first thing that I saw when I walk through the door

Was all your stuff pack ready to go on the floor

I asked ';what's this about?'; ';why is your stuff packed for?';

You said ';this is the last time and you can't take this no more';

We're goin back and forth like we're in the middle of a war

Everything you tell me you say I just ignore

And that you've given me this warning a million times before

Hearing this makes my emotions all mix at once inside

She said if I wanted her to stay,I could have said something, I could have tried

She picked up her bags and walked right past me, and left my side

Moment after that I became teary-eyed

What left me in this situation was my stubborn pride

For a few days i thought about you and cried

Behind this fought exterior is just a man who's trying to hide

It's been a few months and I'm still not over it

I know I messed up and that's something I must admit

Because when you left, that's when my heart split



After what happened, I wish I could relive the past

I would change all the mistakes that I made

And I know you deserve better than how I treated you

All of my apologies are long overdue

Over time you say I changed for the worse

And now I realize that everything you said was right



I have some things on my mind, things to say

If I went back in time to that heart crushing day

I would begged you to please stay

I would ask you not to turn away

I just want eveything to be okay

But it won't, so just please stay



I found out that you moved on to another love

While I'm still stuck wondering if I have another chance with you

Praying so I can hear you say my name just one more time

This is a mountain that is impossible for me to climb

If it took all my money to get you back I'd go ahead and spend every dime

I'd go around the just get your love back

Lonelyness is the enemy and my heart is under attack

And I kno I sound like a broken track begging for you to come back

But I want to get my point across that I need you in my life

Cuz without you there's no me and I'm not ready to face that reality

You're messing with my mentality

Without you I can't think straight

My mind is so distracted, because every thought I have involves you

Remember when we used to argue and now I missing you around

I'm stuck in this pond, save me please don't let me drown

And now on the inside I'm burning up knowing that you hold someone elses heart

I know there's no chance, but can I call a restart?

This is the first time in years that we've been apart

The worlds zooming by me, I'm so zoned

Your so far away, I can't even reach you

If you tell me to come get you, I'll pursue

But as of right now I don't know what to do



After what happened, I wish I could relive the past

I would change all the mistakes that I made

And I know you deserve better than how I treated you

All of my apologies are long overdue

Over time you say I changed for the worse

And now I realize that everything you said was right



I have some things on my mind, things to say

If I went back in time to that heart crushing day

I would begged you to please stay

I would ask you not to turn away

I just want eveything to be okay

But it won't, so just please stay



Just stay, please stay, I need you to stay....Do you like these lyrics?
It's okay but you keep changing the point of view of the reader from them being the person whom is leaving you (when you said ';you';) and the reader sitting there watching everything play out (when you said ';she';) fix this and it will be better.Do you like these lyrics?
its ok u put in alot of effort put it on youtube
Awesome!



You should check out http://www.songcrypt.com



If you have no plans of reproducing this you might be able to post it to the site for others to perform. Who know if someone selects it you might even earn some cash...
your saying to much, you dont say every thought, like ';then she said'; and like ';why is your stuff packed for?'; that doesnt even make sense, and is boring its needs to be unique
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