Whats your opinion on my marriage?

when i first started dating my husband i was 1week out of a 3 year relationship. i drank and smoked cigs from sun up to sun down to help ease the pain of my break up. (after 3 years, i came home from work to find all his stuff gone and a letter explaining that he wasnt ready for a serious relationship) on work days i went to work. and then came home and resumed drinking hennesey and smoking. like i said i started talking with my now husband a week after my break up. he drank with me and hung in my circle of friends. it wasnt long before me and my now husbands drnking and smoking lead to also smoking weed and other serious drugs :( he eventually moved in with me and a year later i ended up prego.(yes i was on birth control) when i found out i was prego , we quit the drugs and alcohol cold turkey (he still drank after work sometimes) well its been 11 months and we now have a 2 year old beautiful healthy daughter. but the problem is that these past 11 months is the soberest i have been since i was 15. i am now 26! and things are just sl clear to me now. all my past bad decisions, my mistakes, my old way of life. but whats really bothering me is that i am starting to realize things about my husband that my ';drug/beer goggles'; must have hid very well and i am just so confused. his personality and attitude are such a turn off to me. we have nothing in common and sometimes when he says or does something i just look at him like ';who are you?'; or ';what was i thinking?'; if i would have met him in a sober state of mind i dont think i would have ever dated him or even thought of it. we are so opposite and our ideas about things clash. i love him despite this. in fact i even told him how i feel and how i have been thinking lately and he said that he to sees a change in me and my ways.he says that i am actually better now. he says that he loves who i have become and thinks my personality is better thaln when he met me lol. but i am just afraid that becuase he sometimes seems like a stranger to me that i may leave him for someone else. someone who i would normally be attracted to and find compatible. i love him and our daughter but something in the back of my head tells me ';what are you doin with this guy that you have nothing in common with?'; what should i do?Whats your opinion on my marriage?
I think it is funnyWhats your opinion on my marriage?
You have turned a corner in your life. You've said goodbye to those years of hard drinking and drugs and now have a new way of looking at life. In other words, you grew up, but your husband hasn't caught up. It's no surprise you don't feel compatible with him anymore.



Give him the opportunity to catch up, have a serious talk with him and indicate that you've grown up and you want all the drinking and drugs to be part of your history and not part of your future. If he won't compromise then you will have to make a decision about your marriage.
too long of a tale and as far as the smoking goes that in itself is a deal breaker
You have a tough situation but not impossible. To begin with, if you feel strongly about your H perhaps it is worthwhile to explore counseling. It is entirely possible both of you can find mutual goals, if nowhere else then with your child. Raise her with love and affection and support and provide her with a happy home life, free from strife. If you were both to focus on raising your child you will find other things you have in common. Build on that. But seriously consider beginning with therapy and counseling.
Wow. You just described my relationship as well. I wish that I could move out for a while, regroup. If financially this is an option for you than by all means do it. It's miserable b/c u r second guessing your own decisions so much.. I used to think I was always right and now I can look around me~and look at him~ and know for a fact that i let my heart lead me, and it may not have been to the right place:( Yes, I love him too. I am just disappointed!

If there are any places near you that may be livable for you, than look into it. It seems like you are trying to be open with him so just tell him you need to figure some things out~maybe there could be a lease that's month to month or 3mos? Good luck babe
Find some new commonalities. Your daughter is one,they way you both love her,would die for her..that you have a history and a victory story of over coming addiction together.

You have more in common then you think. Find new hobbies together..bowling or church ? tennis..long walks and talks. Be friends,date ,fall in love again.
Congratulations on your sobriety. Go to an AA mtg. You need a sponsor.
move on!
I can't judge you, or even type anything mean because you have made a full turn for the better in your life. It's great you are giving your daughter the best life you can by being sober, and not spending your life in a stupor. What to do about your husband? Perhaps get him interested in the same things that you are since you are sober now, and want to take things more seriously.I would start with things that revolve around your child with him, as certainly that's a subject you both have in common.